Why Can't You See It?!?

it all started when she was just a little kid. it was when she came along. it was Delany. she was the youngest of the two and there were miscarges. i would figure that they would love all their children, and not just spoil one of them...Stephanie 1

i met you in the first grade...you WEREN'T my friend. you were my enemy. you had my friend, and you were possessive of her. after the summer school had started, and things were different. Little Nikki and I were apart. And just to my advantage, so were you. But how ironic, you were in my class...I didn't want to talk to you...but no second grader wanted to be alone...what was one to know I was a true friend? 2

we really started to talk and laugh and get to know each other. I would never think two of us could actually click and be able to talk...it amazed me. I didn't know you that well, but I was determined to know you...and continue to know you. 3

the rest of elementary school, i was separated from you and Nicole. I was alone...people really didn't know me well...didn't really care. And remember in the third grade about Nicole, and that damned sticker book she ripped? it wasnt another two years until I spoke to her... 4

Oh and yes. Middle School. In sixth grade you were so popular, and everyone liked you...you had boobs, blonde hair, and blue eyes . Nicole and I said "hi" in the hall, that was about it...Everyone loved you. People would never think that you would be one to be goth. never...it made me green with envy. sooner or later i got over it. who ever knew things got hard, huh? 5

The seventh grade it was my first suicide attempt...remember me being in the hospital...I don't know what I was thinking. that year was better because i existed...those grades of mine really was shown off...i was second most sought after...things got tougher didn't they? 6

Eighth grade hit. things could have been better, things could have been worse. things could have gotten harder...they did. Nicole got friends. better ones than us. oh yes, they lied, talked behind each other's backs and all of that good stuff. and gave us a life of hell...oh yes. we must thank her for it. not mope and wish she is our friend, we must understand that she wasnt ever a friend in the first place. 7

freshman year: it equaled pain. for both of us. we shared it. mark befriended you, you liked him...spider. you told him about Nicole...BINGO. maybe you shouldn't of...but really they [mark and nicole] are a very funna couple. dont be jealous of her sleezy ass, or his to mention. she isnt even half grown, and a spittin' image of her own mother! who would want a friend like that?! 8

stephanie and i are going to be tenth-graders...and the challenge is on. what a world we live in, and to see who lives in it today. what has happend to this world. i remember back when...i first met you and your family. it wasn't like Leave It to Beaver but is sure wasn't like Intervention! 9

one day, a mid-night's summer. tradegic struck. 10

your little sister...she was always there to put you down or shut you out. wasn't she? yeah. she was. i saw it. her jeering. laughter. lies. AND OUR OWN MOM TOOK HER SIDE...AND ON TOP OF THAT NOT BELIEVED YOU! no wonder...having of three friends, and one being a girl [with dealing of it all]...here i am. 11

{Delaney thinking}ha ha...my big sister is so funny. hates all rap, but loves Eminem...like she is such a lame! 12

STEPHANIE! DON'T LISTEN TO HER! 13

{thinks as she is spraying water on her sister's body} she is sad, and depressed. my own parents use her as a bad example. shes the black sheep minus the black hair...i am so much better than her...i have more friends...I have a tutor...ha ha ha! you're flunking SUMMER SCHOOL! aren't they supposed to help you there?? I have a better one!!! 14

"Delaney!! Stop! You are getting me all wet!", Stephanie shouts. 15

laugh, laugh, jeer, jeer. Me being better than you is your only fear. I have help, with my grades...and Mommy and Daddy love me more than you...la la la la LA. i dont' care what you say...they will always take my side...and always blame you... ha ha ha ha ha... 16

"Urgh! Delaney!!!" She is so angry...pop! she throws a pop at her...bulls-eye. 17

"Daddy! 'Sissy' hurt me!!!!!!" 18

she only wishes you could see blackness...what shuddering memories she holds. her dad hears the child's scream. but what did the "sissy" do? God only knows. Stephanie was pulled by the back of her hair, leaving a mark on her neck...drugged up stairs...hair ripped. thrown into the computer room...will she ever see her father again...Mr.Gentle Giant? God only knows. 19

She goes to the bathroom, and doesn't know what to do. She won't call. 20

So, she does: 21

this on her wrists .and spits them in two.being so scared.not knowing what to do.all the hurt,and all the pain. all of the thrashing, she's going to be driven insane. what happend to her happiness that we all once had? where did it go, can we have it back? all the anger that lives, the pain.it's insane....poor forsaken girl by God! she is being driven insane. 22

Lord please help her before it is too late. Turn her for a Catholic before it is too late. I don't know if she is up for it or not. Help her somehow believe. i know she prayed fora friend to be there for her. Let her know that i will always be there. make her sister stop messing around. Set things striaght with mom and me and her...because this isn't fair. 23

Please. before she bleeds the worst sorrow, and i get invited to her funeral tomorrow. 24

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