where i want to be pt 5

TEN1

I'm keeping ma company
on the back porch
waiting for my friend, Kara, to come
pick me up. It's Saturday.2

Instead of clubbing,
we chill at coffee cafe's
open till 4 am
listenng to rock
indie
ska
new bands
showing off their talent.3

It's the only thing I look forward to
all week.4

Ma's gazing up at the sky
smoking grass
meditating
not talking to me
like I thought she would.5

before I have a chance to say
anything, horn honks, someome
shouts my name.6

I kiss ma quickly, say good-bye
and she replies with a nod and a smile.7

half of me wants to stay.8

half of me wants to go.9

I stand by the brick wall
weighing the two.10

I go.11

ELEVEN12

Beat up
rustly black mustang.
my limo for tonight.
chauffer: Kacee, Kara's geeky, greasy, punkrocker
little brother
who's high on some adreneline
boucning like he has springs attached to his shoes.
he sees me,
waves.13

"Hey! Let's go, let's go!"14

Groans.
of all people15

she. had. to. send. him.16

It's not that I don't like Kacee.17

I do.18

But his mouth has more mileage than an SUV
he talks, talks, talks
without taking a two second breath to inhale air
before starting again.
and he smells like playdough, weed, and really
cheap colegne.19

I like weird.20

But Kacee is beyond weird.21

I can't even find a word to describe
how un-normal he actually is.
I swear...
the kid is ADD.22

dragging myself to the car I mumble a 'Hey'
and slide into the back seat.23

stink shoots up my nostrils and for five mintues
my stomach feels like erupting everything I ate.24

car reeks of boys.25

and26

that's never a sweet aroma.27

unless28

the guy29

wears Ralph Lauren Blue30

and has
a sqeuaky clean vehicle.31

"Please wind down the window," I say
settling into the center seat
strapping on my seatbelt.32

Kacee ignroes me and peels out of the driveway.33

TWELVE34

stuck.35

I am stuck.36

Between two boys.37

and they smell like tag and mothballs.38

maybe I should stop focusing on funk
see the person, start conversation
blah blah blah...
but I can't help it.39

every male in this stinks.40

this is torture.
utter, evil, torture.
honestly...
I don't want to speak to either of them.41

gathering myself together, hugging all body parts
so that they don't touch either creepy boy-who may get
the wrong idea if say42

my knee
knocks
their knee43

mouth zips shut
and I try hard to be invisble
and pretend I can't hear creepy boy #2 on my right
because the radio's volume is too loud.44

It works. He leaves me alone.45

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