I was dreaming, that I was at the mall with a boy, his brother and his gf, and my little sister.Me and my BF ditched his brother and them.When we came back to the spot where we were, they were there, but my sister was GONE!
They said that she saw 1 of her friends, and went with her.So, we started walking and we saw the candy shop and went in. No-one was in there, so we got some candy and stole it! We were on the way to the movies and his brother's car blew a tire! So we get going agin, get to the movies and go in to see a horror film.
When the movie started I wasn't scared, but into the movie about 15 minutes I really started FREAKING out! So he took me in his arms and cuddled with me( hands on shoulders, head on neck...) That was SO ROMANTIC, after about 5 minutes he leaned over and kissed me , and i kissed him back!! We started making-out and his brother walked up and took us to a party were we made-out more.1
THEN I WOKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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it was very good
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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each of your sentences need a space before beginning the next sentence. change them to the others. Watch your tenses you're skipping from past to present. ok so your sister disappeared and you went to the movies? That is one really messed up dream. (did you at least see the whole movie?)
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