You've finally spread your wings
I knew you would
The dream is now within your reach
Work rewarded
Faint praise now thunderous applause
Can you hear it ringing?1
The grass you walk upon
Is now your stage
The sky is your arena
Nothing is impossible to achieve
You proved it true
The chorus is singing for you2
The small part I played
To let go of inhibitions
Sees you shine as one
How proud the Mother bird
Watching the fledgling grow
Leave the nest and prosper3
And if all comes to nought
You tried
That is not failure
For in my eyes you succeed
By simply doing
Simply being you4
Author notes
Just a friend who has finally achieved his sporting dream to play at the highest level.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow! This is really good. It uses great metaphores and descriptive language. I love reading all your poems. Keep up all the fantastic work.
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Great!
You have certainly portrayed your friend well here. You can tell the kind of relationship you two must have, a very strong one. You must be proud of his acomplishments! Very good write! Keep up the good work! -
GREAT
I think you started great ended great and even though the charecter was not in trouble it was still a great story. It was also a beautiful poem. It had everything a great story should have, but still I can not say it is perfect, but don't know whats wroung.beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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GREAT
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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GREAT
I liked how you started the poem with a steady rythem you did'nt just throw it all at me at ounce I really liked that.beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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GREAT
I liked how you started the poem with a steady rythem you did'nt just throw it all at me at ounce I really liked that.beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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GREAT
I liked how you started the poem with a steady rythem you did'nt just throw it all at me at ounce I really liked that.beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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GREAT
I liked how you started the poem with a steady rythem you did'nt just throw it all at me at ounce I really liked that.
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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GREAT
I liked how you started the poem with a steady rythem you did'nt just throw it all at me at ounce I really liked that.beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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impressive
Now, the poem doesn't rhyme but each line makes sense to the previous line which makes this poem good. I liked how you used the phrase "How proud the Mother bird, Watching the fledging grow, Leave the nest and prosper". This line makes sense to your friend who has achieved his sporting dream. It's like how his mother has watched him as a baby and develop into a successer. Wonderful poem, and it could in some days turn into a one of your quotes.beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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What a pleasant read. I felt my own chest swell with pride for the achievments you describe regarding your friend. A true treasure.
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good
this is a good poem!
I love the wording and flow of it. Keep writing!
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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I wish I could give it applause but I'm too low on points. If I could I would give it the best applause. The poem was very well written and it had a good point. Poetry, in my opinion does not have errors, it is the speaking of the soul and mind, which is why I have nothing negative to say about it. Great Piece!
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it was nice! great job!
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Awww
I don't normally put things like that in the verdict, but that deserved it. It was very sweet. I like the flow too. This is a poem right? I like your work choice as well. Overall a great job.
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that was great, i would love to read more of your stories, i am only new here but will post some soon if your interested
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Faint praise now thunderous applause
The chorus is singing for you2
i absolutely loved these two lines. this was a great write and shows how proud you are of your friend. i hope he does well, wish him luck for me
excellent write
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Simply put
Simply put but elegant. I love the comparision about the mother bird and baby bird. Nice flow and good word choice.
I think it hard to comment or even rate someone elses poetry because it comes the heart and it rate someones heart is wrong. But there are some things to say and I've put it down. lol Goddess I hope I make sense today
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