headaches

he was still getting those twinges, the twinges of self loathing now and again, one small gaze could bring these forth, a glance in the wrong direction or a song played at a bad time of the radio and of course there was always the times he felt he wasn't suffering enough, so he did all of these at the same time.
through these times he always thought
"why? why did i do that, how stupid could i be?" and
"how long is this going to go on, haven't i suffered enough?" in his mind the same old answer always appeared
"of course i haven't suffered enough of this would have stopped by now,Karma."
while this was happening another dominant though aways tried to surface, one that he forced back every time, the need to cause a physical pain on that he could see and relate to, but this need had started to be subdued due to the promises that he couldn't break,strange, he'd never had any trouble breaking thing before be they objects, promises.....or hearts. He supposed that this was due to the fact that he hadn't cared about hurting people before, not till it happened to him, and as this thought swam through his head tears filled his eyes and he drifted out of consciousness 1

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