The Other Side

The following is said as was told to me by my friend and partner-in-crime, Tiger Wolf Hawk at the encouragement of her brother in darkness. 1

'This whole fiasco started that night back on stardate 20041118. That night my closest friend and sister confessed to me a terrible secret.2

Two secrets actually.3

The first; that she and another close friend were homosexual.
My reaction (such as it was) never showed for I was in shock and could say nor do anything but nod and wait for her to continue.4

The second and far worst (in my mind) was that she fancied me for a fuck. (Though those were not the exact words she spoke)
Once again my reaction was minimal. I managed to say I wasn't interested before falling back into a stunned stupor of silence.5

Later that night, after a little bit of the shock wore off I asked her why. I said, "You know the Bible says not to. You know you shouldn't. Why did you?"
Her reply was, "It feels good. It's better than a guy. Don't dis something unless you try it."
"You want me to try it?"
"Yeah. Even if it isn't with me, I think you should. It feels really, really good."
I do believe she didn't catch the incredulousness in my voice, which bordered on outrage with my next question. "You want me to try it?" Yes I was reduced to repeating myself.
"Um…Yeah…." She replied.
More of the shock wore off and I spoke again, "It isn't right. It isn't natural. I don't care if it 'feels good'. You should know better!"6

With the initial shock gone I felt as if I had been shot in the heart. It felt like I was bleeding. Indeed, that night I fell from the sky as a bird shot in my dreamland. A gaping hole was in my chest bleeding heavily. No one seemed to know how to stop the bleeding.7

The next evening I almost gave into the wishes of my friend.
But then I thought back to a paper I had written on homosexuality and how the Bible said it was wrong. 'How could I go back on what I so vehemently opposed in writing for writing made things final to me? How could I stand in God's presence then next morning if I went with my friends wishes? How could I ever face myself again?'
I fell asleep before my friend could initiate anything or tempt me further.8

In the weeks and months that followed I felt as one half dead. I stayed away from my friend. She knew how much I disapproved of what she was doing. She knew it long before she asked me. Didn't she know how much such a betrayal would hurt me?9

We are still friends to day but I still don't know about her.'10