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I don't have a dime to my name
Yet I'm richer than most I meet
For the most exquisite gift in this world
Cannot be bought with diamonds or pearls
It is priceless to those who know it
Desired by people who don't
And the ones who try to procure it
Will find that their millions won't 2
What price could buy a smile
That lights up a Mothers' face
As her baby takes its' first step
Little girls in satin and lace 3
No money replaces the awe
Of kids waiting for Santa's sleigh
Seeing the gold in a sunset
Or sapphire blue in a day 4
From the rich red earth of your home
To an endless summer sky
Is for us who can see past the clouds
It's worth more than money can buy 5
The richness is your chance in living
The choices we make everyday
The jewels are what nature provides us
And not a price we can pay 6
So when life's at it's bleakest
Take a pearl of this wisdom
And a little time to smile
The rewards of such simplicity
Is to feel that it's all worthwhile7
Author notes
Just how I felt at that moment one Christmas.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Please forgive - I feel much more confident reviewing stories than poems, but I like the topic you've chosen. Longing for a bit more simplicity myself these days, I could see the universality in the feeling you were expressing.
I must say, though, that the stanzas seem a bit disconnected. They are given a common bond at the end, but seem disjointed while you read the poem the first time through. I think, too, there are ways to expand this poem and make the images more complex/concrete so that they are less amorphous than what you have right now. Don't ask me how, I'm really not a poet
I think it's wonderful to remind people how much a smile can be worth, and at such little "cost" to it's bearer. Even if you don't receive one in return, perhaps they recall it to themselves later and pass it along then. --Gypsy
P.S. I'm skipping the numerical ratings because they don't really seem applicable to this piece.
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I give you credit for being able to capture this kind of feeling with words... it's a tough thing to looik at, especially in a time such as our own where money seems to be able to buy happiness (isn't there a song with that in it somewhere?) but this looks past all monetary value and back at simplicity, something which I don't think we focus enough on.
Flows very well, and the rhyming doesn' come across as forced at all.. truthfully I didn't even notice the rhyming scheme until I went back and re-read it lol, but that's a good thing! You don't want it to stick out.
Well done.. a very pleasant read.beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5.
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That's nice
This is a nice poem that depicts the fact that simple things can be really nice and we should appreicate even the small things in life. Nice idea and good beat. Keep it up.beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 2, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 2.
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exelent write
A nice message of hope to anyone for anyone who thinks that life is hopeless.
Ps, what age were you during that particular christmas?beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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This is beautifully written. Great flow and great descriptions. I feel this way when I look at my children. Thanks for sharing this with us.
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Very Meaningful
Great job.
A beautiful job at describing that there are much more important things than wealth in a person's life.
Very Heartwarming! -
This is quite the uplifting and encouraging write. I like the --count your blessings-- tone of it. It drives home the fact that there are many things that make us rich and that money does not make us unpoor.
I think the title ties in well and prompts the mood of the piece. I also love the analogy of seeing past the clouds to the color on the other side.
I feel that this is an admonition that most of us can take to heart when we are in the midst of the poor mes. While there are times that we have a real reason for grief, there are far more times that we just refuse to see past the dilemna of the moment to appreciate what we do have.
I enjoyed reading it.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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It was very meaningful. I mean, it was also very realistic. I think it was really good.
Chyeah. It was an interesting read.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Right On.
You hit it. There's nothing more amazing than everything you just described. Though I'm not a parent, I did get really happy when my younger siblings started to walk, and every sunset is amazing. I give it two thimbs up! -
I didn't think that was one of your best.
Where all of your better ones are wrapped beneath a cloak of metaphors and fantastic devices, this one just seemed a little too blatent.
Still good, don't get me wrong, but you're capable of a lot more.
I didn't really get your happiness, if that makes any sense? It just wasn't very apparent. With your better pieces, such as 'Love Immortal', i can percieve your emotion of that point so easily. This just felt like you were looking around and commenting.
Your rhyming, however, was very good!
'And a little time to smile/ The rewards of such simplicity/ Is to feel that it's worthwhile.'
I did like it, if what i wrote says differently, but i have read such fantastic pieces from you in the past that this one doesn't really sit on the same throne.
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, characters: 3.
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