Four rooms and a window

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July 2nd3

Eggs sizzled in the frying pan as a slight figure clothed in a bathrobe stood staring into space. Her lifeless hazel eyes showed the lack of sleep as the bags became more evident in the dim morning light. Standing at the almond stove Kendra glanced from the empty space to the clock on the black microwave then back to the space above the stove. The blue digital numbers read 6:58 a.m. Without thought, Kendra slid two pieces of bread in the toaster and checked to see that the bacon was still warm in the stove. Tucker would be angry if any of his breakfast was cold. Kendra turned around to see that the silverware and napkin lay in place on the stark white bar waiting patiently to be used. Not a speck of dust, dirt or food cluttered up the surfaces. She placed a glass of orange juice above the polished knife and fork.
Tucker was due home any moment and her nerves were frazzled. Kendra started to shake slightly at the thought of what the day would hold for her. She wished he wouldn’t come home. She wished an accident would stop him from returning. Hoping for the worst she continued to cook Tuckers eggs.
She glanced again at the clock. It was five minutes after seven, he was late. This was not like him and she started to worry, but stopped herself. She wondered if her fantasy was becoming a reality. Kendra walked off the tiled floor onto the light brown carpet and crossed over to the window. She laid her head against the cool window and peered down tow storied to the parking lot. She noticed that the green two tone ’89 GMC Sierra truck was parked in their space and her hopes crumbled. As Kendra dragged her feet towards the door, it swung open.
Both Tucker and Kendra stopped before he sniffed the air. He turned his attention towards the kitchen and said in a booming voice, “What’s burning?”
“Oh God,” she moaned as she ran into the pale yellow kitchen. Immediately she removed the pan of brown and crusty eggs from the stove, burning the palm of her hand and placed it in the stainless tell sink. Kendra ran cold water over the burnt pan and her hand. She opened the small window above the sink and breathed in the crisp morning air before turning to face him.
Tucker slammed his hardhat and lunchpail on the counter with great force that echoes throughout the small apartment. “Damn woman can’t you do anything right?”
Kendra’s shaking was becoming more evident as she fought to steady her voice, “I’m sorry Tucker. It will only be a few minutes.” Her eyes were lowered to the floor as she started to wash the frying pan. Outside two blue jays sat on a branch of the elm tree chripping happily. Keeping her back to him she sat the pan on the stove and flipped the toast out of the toaster. When she generated up enough courage she sneaked a peek at Tucker.
He was mumbling to himself and rearranging his silverware. Back and forth his dirty hands switched the fork and knife. The ceiling light reflected off the stainless steel. Kendra could see the dirt and sweat in the creases and wrinkles of his hands and neck. His stringy brown hair was unwashed and caked with the dame dirt and sweat as his hands. Hid brown eyes were bloodshot and a dark hue encircled them. The white shirt he had adorned the night before was now stained with sweat and tiny wood chips clung to the front. She couldn’t see his jeans but she figured they were filthy too.
Squaring her shoulders she turned around and calmly asked, “Tucker, why were you late?”
He looked up from his silverware instantly, his brown eyes grew narrow and blazed with anger. His hand left the utensils and made a fist. The corners of his thin mouth drooped farther towards the floor as the veins on his temples bulged. Tucker hit the bar solidly and stood up, tipping the bar stool over. It landed with a hollow thud.
Kendra started to back up as he stomped into the room. Her bare feet shuffling across the floor, tripping over themselves. She ran into the corner and coward there as he drew near. His body seemed to take up the entire room as he loomed over her. Shaking with fear Kendra stood wondering what had set him off. She looked him in the eyes trying not to show her terror and braced herself.
Tucker’s hand swung from his side and hit her directly on the cheek. Instantly her hand went up to protect her stinging face as she cried out in pain. She slid down as the tears welled up and ran down her cheeks. She could feel the handles on the cupboards raking her back. He grabbed her frail arms tightly and pulled her up to his eye level. Kendra struggled against his grip, trying to slip through his strong hold. He shook her until she stopped struggling. Then he dropped her and she landed on her hip. Tears rushed down her face as she rubbed her arms trying to erase the feeling of his fingers.
He looked down at her and shook his head in disgust, spittle sprayed from the corners of his mouth. He turned from her trembling body and walked out of the room. Kendra sat staring through her tears until she heard the bathroom door shut. Without feeling she slowly stood up and turned to the sink. Taking the washcloth she held it to her burning cheek. In a daze she reached for the eggs and again started to make breakfast.
Soon she heard him banging around in the bedroom. Kendra hurried to finish and set Tucker’s plate down. She stood leaning against the counter as he sauntered down the narrow hall. The counter dug into her stomach as she steadied herself. His socked feet barely making a sound on the plush carpet. Hanging low on his hips his sweat pant covered his muscular legs.
Before he sat down he walked up behind her and put his powerful arms around her petite waist. Kendra tensed and waited to see what would happen next. Her breathing became shallow and sweat trickled down her sides. He pushed her hair away from her slender neck with his freshly shaven chin and kissed her nape. She could smell the Brute cologne he had used.
“I love you,” he whispered in her ear. Kendra sighed with relief as he released her. Slapping her playfully on the butt he strutted into the livingroom and sat down to eat. She jumped at this harmless swat.
Tucker sat silently watching Kendra as she loaded the dishwater quietly. She was just putting the last plate in the bottom rack when he broke the silence by clearing his throat. “Breakfast was good. Get me a beer.”
She cringed inside when he made his last request, but fearing he would get angry again she hurried to the refrigerator. She did not voice her disappointment about the beer so early in the morning. She handed it to him and went about cleaning the kitchen. She heard Tucker slide the beer across the bar and head for the livingroom and the morning news filled the silence.
Before she had finished mopping the tiled floor she heard the familiar sounds of his snores. She rolled her head aback and relaxed her shoulders to clam herself. Finishing the floor she inspected the miniature yellow diamonds the dotted the squares and wrung out the mop in the sink. She pulled out the stopper and put the mop away. Soundlessly she walked towards him and picked up the blanket that lay on the back of their worn tan couch and covered him lovingly.
She looked at his face and fond memories flooded back to her. He was exciting at first and very kind. He took her from the greasy diner she had worked for three years and carried her off to a new place. A place they were going to make a wonderful life together. Tucker had shown her a new way to live life. They were very carefree. She remembered them spending days in bed, just sharing memories and thoughts for the future. They were going to make wonderful life together. Tucker had wanted five kids, but she protested saying that she would only give him three. He had laughed and said that they would decide that when the time came around. He took her to the park and they had fed the ducks. At one point they must have done something to anger two of the ducks because they had chased them back to the car. Tucker and Kendra had laughed for days after that.
And then one day things changed. Kendra smiled turned to a frown as she forced herself to remember when it has turned bad. He started leaving for days and when he did come home he reeked of beer and stale smoke. He started yelling at the insignificant thinks, like dirt on the floor or the sink had a few dishes. It started small, the built up until one day he came home from one of his all night binges and beat her until she passed out with pain. She stayed in bed for three days nursing her wounds. He was very attentive and promised he would never do that again. But he didn’t stop. She realized he would never stop and she just had to live with it. She would try harder not to do anything that upset him.
She looked down at her hands and pushed the diamond ring he had bought her after that dreadful day. Many times she had wanted to take it off and throw it at him. But she keep on her finger dreaming of the day it would come off forever.
She turned from him. Breathing deeply she walked to the bathroom and started for the shower. Dreading that he would wake up she locked the door. Something she knew he did not allow. Kendra faced forward to look herself over. Her waist length brown hair was as lusterless as the coat of a mangy stray dog and her hazel eyes held no spark of life. Her eyes showed the black hole in her heart and the bruise below left eye empathized the hollowness of her cheeks. She could see her collarbone clearly through the opening of the robe she wore. She knew she didn’t eat enough but fearing Tucker temper she only nibbled. Troubled by her appearance she shook her head and turned around to start the shower.4

5


“Kendra! Get out here now!” His voice bellowed from the front room.
She hurried down the hall as she slipped the last button of her red faded flannel shirt in its hole. Her worn jeans were left unbuttoned with tattered holes. She could feel the fiber running across her knees. Her feet were bare underneath the frayed cuffs. Kendra turned the corner and saw the clutter he had assembled. Beer cans lay about the glass top of the coffee table and potato chip crumbs were scattered at his socked feet. She stood at his right shoulder and waited patiently in silence for his command.
“Clean up this mess!” A scowl crossed his drunken face as he snapped his command. “I can’t believe you let this place get so dirty. What have you been doing all day sitting on you ass? Can’t you do anything right?”
She bent down to start on the mess he had created when she was suddenly knocked on her butt as he punched her in the chin. The bruise from his first hit of the morning screamed with pain as he connected other slap to her face. Knocking her to her side he stood leering over her. The he flopped down on the scraggly couch and passed out.
She picked herself up and with fresh tears in her eyes and gathered the cans up. The crumbs would have to wait until Tucker made his way to the bedroom. Discarding the cans in the bin Kendra went to the freezer and filled a dishtowel with ice for her cheek and chin. Sliding down the refrigerator door she held the ice to her face and cried. Angry at herself and Tucker, she cried bitterly at her situation, not understanding what she had done to make him change.
She felt frustrated and depressed at the life she had chosen for herself. Of the life that was chosen for her. She wondered if there was something she had done to deserve this kind of treatment. Had she hurt someone so badly that God was now punishing her for it. She couldn’t think of anything she had done in her life that could warrant such cruelty. Was there something she was forgetting? Kendra sat down at the bar to think about the past. The ice numbed her cheek and she set it on the counter.
She learned early on in her childhood to depend only on herself. Her parents were drunks and had neglected her. Kendra taught herself how to cook and clean the house and her person. She was good in school and never got into any trouble. She learned how to fade into the background and to not be noticed. On nights that her parent drank heavily she would spend the night with friends. Most of her friend’s parents knew what was going on at home but were powerless to do anything to stop them. They only took her in to their homes to protect her. She smiled fondly at the memory of the nights spent with her friends.
As soon as she could she left home and work at various jobs until she found a waitress job that would sustain her enough to live. She never heard from her parents again. She never wanted to hear from them again. They didn’t want her then and they wouldn’t want now. The tucker strolled into her life four years after she had thought that the cycle of abuse had been broken. Even now she woke up in a cold sweat.
Kendra shook her head in despair. Her heart ache for a life that the movies and television portrayed. Knowing that that life was not in her destiny.
She dragged her feet towards the bedroom to lay down. To dream the sweet dreams her imagination could create.6

7

Kendra felt the bed slump down on his side. She turned over to see him sitting, facing the wall. Reaching over to touch him she stopped herself, not knowing what kind of mood he was in.
“Kendra, I know you’re awake.” Tucker turned his head to look at her, “I’m sorry for what happened today. Things aren’t going very well at work.” He dipped his head and held it in his hands, with his elbows resting on his knees. “Look I have to get ready for work now. Would you get up and make my lunch for the night?” He sounded tired.
Slowly Kendra pulled herself off the bed, then made her way of the kitchen. Groggy from the restless sleep she struggled to focus on her task. Kendra made sure that everything was in its place. The potato salad, she had made yesterday, was placed flat on the bottom in an airtight container with the banana on its side on top of that. A can of Pepsi stood next to the potato salad and on top of it all lay the ham and cheese sandwich. The same thing everyday. Tucker was very predictable.
She leaned through the entry way and called with caution, “Tucker, you’d better get going to be late.”
A few minutes later he walked down the hall dressed for work. Tucker grabbed his lunchpail and hardhat and walked out the door never saying a word. Kendra walked over to the couch and slumped down to wait the long night out.
Kendra dozed off and on in front of the television as the night dwindled on. Sounds of neighbors coming home and children running outside startled her awake now and then. She was jolted awake by a loud crash outside her window. Moving sluggishly to the window she saw two people walking towards the apartment complex. She shrugged and wandered into the kitchen.
Suddenly hungry she remembered she had not eaten today. Kendra rummaged around in the refrigerator pulling out sandwich makings. The light from the refrigerator shown on the plaque above the archway. Kendra read the sign (PUT THE SIGN SAYING HERE).
“Yeah right,” she said aloud and slammed the door. Making a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread memories returned from the hidden room in her mind.
Two years had passed since he sauntered in to the little diner she worked at. He looked mysterious standing at the short counter waiting for a seat. Tucker was tall and built solidly in the upper body. His black jeans fit snugly against his legs and the black t-shirt showed the flat stomach and bulging biceps. His chestnut hair was cut short and neat against his head. Sunglasses hid the sparkling brown eyes. He stood watching her with an enormous smile playing on his tanned face. She was hooked before he ever said a word.
Tucker didn’t say much the first time she waited on him nor the next couple of times he came in. He would not look at her when she was helping him. But she could feel his eyes on her when she waited on the other tables. This went on for two months before he finally asked her out. Kendra immediately said sure.
They went to the movies. Kendra couldn’t remember which one. Tucker was polite and courteous which surprised her. In her line of work there wasn’t much of that shown. People demanded their orders and then ate like animals. The diner usually served truckers and people down on their luck. To have someone being polite astounded her. Kendra felt special when she was with Tucker.
After the movie they went out to dinner. The restaurant was quaint and the atmosphere was intimate but she felt nervous. Tucker was still very quiet. Was he just being quiet because he was shy or because he was being mysterious? She learned later that he was just shy at the beginning. Once she broke through the thick wall she couldn’t keep him quiet.
They were inseperatable after that. Soon he asked her to move to another town with him. She accepted with out thought. There was nothing holding her there but her job. They left three months after they first met.
Tucker never let on that he had an alternate personality. Not once in the first eight months did he seem angry or violent. Again she asked herself why he had changed. Another question was did she provoke the change?
As the night wore on she couldn’t keep from dreaming about the way it should have been. Of knights in shinning armor and of happily ever after. “Stop fooling yourself Kendra,” her inner voice said. “Fairytales only happen in stories or the movies.
Night after night she sat in the same chair thinking up ways to leave Tucker and each time she could never go through with it. Scared of change and knowing there was no one out there for her.
Kendra slammed her fist on the counter. The sound echoed throughout the empty apartment. She was done feeling sorry for herself. She got up and paced the entire length the livingroom.
No longer feeling sorry for herself she became enraged at the thought of staying here any longer. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as a plan came to focus in her mind. Her heart beat faster and her breath became ragged as her emotions turned from anger to exhilaration. Many plans filtered through her head as the night drew long. Should she leave town, maybe stay in town and seek legal action? Where would she go? She had no money of her own. Nor had she any friends to rely on. Tucker made sure of that.
Again her anger took hold as she remembered how little by little he took her freedom away. At first it seemed innocent enough. He hadn’t wanted her to work because they were trying to start a family. She had agreed and left it at that. Until it became evident that she wasn’t able to get pregnant. He blamed her, never once thinking that maybe it was because of him and the tension grew in the house. Next she felt guilty when she would try to make fiends with the neighbors. He would ignore her or say rude things about the people. Kendra got tired of defending the people around her, so she stopped trying. It wasn’t so much Tuckers fault, Kendra knew she let it happen. She let him manipulate her, she just didn’t see it until it was too late. Doing the things he requested of her to keep the peace in the house. Saddened by the way she was manipulated by her feelings and his action she stopped and stared on into the starless night. The glow of the morning sun peeked over the buildings.
Realizing the severity of the impending situation Kendra snapped out of the strange daze she was in and headed for the bedroom to pack her meager belongings. Packing her clothes was no problem, a few pairs of pants and some shirts along with undergarments and shoes. She decided to leave the pictures.
She did love him, but loving him was just not enough. And he wasn’t willing to change. They had talked about counseling every time she came home from the hospital but nothing ever came out of it. She was at the end of her rope.
Angry at herself Kendra threw the pictures on the ruffled sheets and stuffed the Polaroid camera in the side pocket of her duffel bag.
Slinging the bag over her slender shoulder she shuffled down the hall to the kitchen.
8

July 3rd9


“Yes, thank you,” short pause as Kendra waited. “I’ll be there in a little while. Thank you again.” All the plans were now set. The shelter for abused women was expecting her and her bags were packed. Kendra suddenly felt a strange sensation on the back of her neck. She turned around and Tucker was standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Off in the distance she could hear Good Morning America playing on the neighbors TV as the birds started their morning song on the elm tree outside their window. Kendra glanced from Tucker to the duffel bag on the floor the back to Tucker. Kendra watched as his eyes drop to the bag. Tuckers breathing grew shallow and his nostrils flared as she watched his knuckles turn white. She could smell the sweat and wood floating off his body. Still holding the receiver in her hand the earpiece felt hot against her ear. Cautiously Kendra set it back in its cradle. Her mouth and throat were dry and she swallowed hard.
Tucker stepped towards Kendra. No words were spoken. She knew he had heard her and he would now punish her. Her heart raced as the sweat trickled down her forehead and the back of her neck. She trembled uncontrollably as her eyes searched for something to defend herself with. Feeling a surge of courage and confidence she fumbled for the phone. Missing it twice she managed to grab it and hurdle it towards him.
He started forward and slapped the phone to the side. Kendra heard it hit the refrigerator and pieces shattered around the floor. She ran to the other side of the kitchen. He sidestepped as his temples pounded and his eyes narrowed. Tucker grabbed her arms and squeezed. Kendra cried out in pain. He swung her around and slapped her to the ground. She landed on her hop and again cried out. He stood leering over her like a tremendous volcano looming over a small village. Kendra brought her arms over her head to protect her face from further slaps as she kicked out with her feet. Missing with one foot her other foot connected with Tuckers shin. He cried out in surprise.
Kendra felt the coldness of the floor pressing up against her side as the smell of leather and wood overwhelmed her. Suddenly her breath was forced out as tucker kicked her with great force in her stomach. Automatically her hands went from her head to her middle and her lungs tried to regain the air they needed. Struggling to breath she looked up at the stranger hovering above her. He laughed hysterically as he kicked her again. She rolled from her side to her back and could feel the cold floor through her blouse. Kendra blinked up at him with watery eyes as another blow rocketed through her head. Her vision blurred as she started to swim in an icy darkness. In the darkness she knew that Tucker had gotten down on his knees and had continued to hit her in the head repeatedly. But she felt no pain, she felt detached from the scene. As she heard him calling to her in a desperate voice she thought of only one thing “(whatever the quote is above the kitchen door)”
July 6th10


Somber uniformed officers trudged in and out of the small apartment. Some stood shaking their heads, others stared out the shattered window at the broken chair that lay on the ground as the red lights flashed all around and others went around the apartment searching for a clue about what had happened here. The smell of stale beer hung over them like a dark cloud. The cans and empty bags of chips lay among the overturned furniture. The officers could hear the whispers from the neighbor who had collected outside the door and the crackle of the radios echoed throughout the somber atmosphere.
A young detective bent over the scarred coffee table pushing aside can and other assorted trash. His black shirt was stretched tightly over his broad shoulders and his matching slacks pressed neatly over muscular thighs. His badge was pinned to his belt and his 38 was holstered on his side. He ran his stubby hand through his neatly combed brown hair and his brown eyes narrowed above his straight nose. His eyes searched the clutter looking for anything that would help clear up the case. He stopped and with frustration picked up a single photo. Shaking his head he glanced from the photo to the black body bag laying beside the table.
He turned on his toes and said, “Hey Caleb, look at this.”
“Did you find something Braeden?” the other detective asked as he turned from a uniformed officer. Caleb was dressed more formal than his younger partner in a navy blue suit and a blue and white stripped tie with his 38 hidden by his suits jacket. His badge was also pinned to his belt. His blond hair was disheveled and his hazel eyes showed his weariness and frustration. The ceiling light reflected off his wire-rimmed glasses.
Detective Braeden stood up with a tired look that matched his partners on his young face and handed the Polaroid picture to Detective Caleb. Rubbing his eyes he waited for a response from Caleb.
Caleb’s long fingers flipped over the picture and exhaled, “You think this is what sent him over the edge?”
Braeden looked over the destruction in the room and nodded his head, “yeah, I think it might have been. There was a history of domestic abuse. Neighbors have said at least three times a week they heard fighting. Records show that she,” he flipped through his notebook, “Kendra Lynn Grant had gone to the hospital several times over the past year.”
“Had she pressed charges?” Caleb asked, puffing on a newly lit Camel.
Braeden shook his head, “and she never applied for a restraining order.”
They both stood staring down at a young woman in a teal t-shirt with a cast on her right arm and a puffed up face sitting on a park bench with fireworks in the background. On the back it said “Goodbye Tucker, Kendra.”11

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