Maria and Clarissa woke the next morning with stiff necks from sleeping on the couch. Both girls sat there in a sleepy trance as what had happened yesterday suddenly became clear. Maria broke out in tears, scaring her sisters into action. "Maria. Maria, stop it this instant!" Clarissa shouted. Her sister stopped her crying as she looked at her sister in horror. Clarissa, instantly guilty for having yelled at her sister, went over and wrapped her arms around her. "There there darling, everything will be fine." She sat rocking her sister until she was quiet again. 1
"O Clarissa, why did he have to do it? What was so horrible that we can't have helped him?" Both sat in silence as they pondered those questions. Finally, Maria broke the silence again. "Clarissa, it had to be my fault." Clarissa stared unbelievingly at her sister as she continued. "I mean, I should have stopped him before he jumped. I had gone to see what he was doing. I thought he was just fisking. And then he looked back at me, and jumped."
"Maria, get those thoughts out of your head this instant. You know you couldn't have saved him. I don't know why he did it, but I know that we will find out. In the mean time, don't go blaming yourself." Clarissa stood, quivering slightly. 2
Both the girls walked to town sulkily. Neither of them liked being stared at because of their long skirts and thick hair. The town was mostly made of bleach blondes who thought the more leg shown the better. When different people walked into town, the people showed their scorn openly. The sisters hurried across the street to the closest store and entered. The clerk looked at them with contempt in his eyes and a smirk on his face. He surveyed them bottom to top without shame, stopping when he came to their massive hair. The sisters, uncomfortable from the start, began cautiously walking around the store, picking out supplies they would need for the coming week. Finally, the task was complete and they went to the front to pay. The clerk began ringing their order up, and Clarissa realized in horror that they had no money. Her fright soon changed to confusion when the clerk asked them if they wanted to put it on their tab. Maria saw the bewilderment in her sister's eyes and quickly said yes, for fear that Clarissa may blurt out something that could make them look like fools. 3
Walking out, Clarissa looked at her sister. "Maria, what did he mean, a tab?"
"It's like a running bill. Usually at the end of the month, Daniel would come in and pay for all the groceries he had bought over that month." All the while she was explaining this, Clarissa kept thinking to herself.
"Have I really been so sheltered that I don't even know what a tab is?" Maria looked at her sister, and it dawned upon her that Daniel had never asked Clarissa to come to town with him. In fact, she wasn't sure that Clarissa was aware that she had been to town either. And then a strange feeling hit her. She didn't want her sister to know. She liked the feeling that Daniel only wanted her to go to town with him, not Clarissa. For once, Maria was the special one. She saw that it started dawning upon her sister, and though up a fast lie.
"Sometimes when Daniel and I would go out and garden, he would tell me things like that. I learned a little bit about town from him. That's how I knew about the tab thing."
"Oh, well that makes sense. Daniel never really could talk to me. Well, that's how it always felt. I think that's why you were more, I don't know, shocked or something, when he died. To me, it meant losing a brother, but not a confidant." 4
They had reached home, and Maria realized that Daniel and Clarissa really hadn't been close, at all. And that disturbing feeling came over her again. And she realized that the starnge feeling was triumph.5
Author notes
ok. i think this is enough for the 2nd chapter, but please, tell me if you think it should be longer or anything.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hello,
I enjoy your stories your an excellent writer.
Peace,
madii
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 2, characters: 4.
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wow...it was like they were battling for something over a dead person... it's like they're gonna be enemies or something... and the thoughts of your characters are so realistic.. i mean... everyone has a tainted soul... EVERYONE...so having those kinds of thoughts like maria isn't really suprising...but it was good nonetheless.....
yes you described you characters but not very well... i mean... like their skin color, height, age....
but still loving it all the way...
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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I like it. You are a good writer. I want to read the next chapter! Oh, sorry if I didn't comment on the first chapter, I forgot. ~Dragon
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yay....moremoremoremoemoemroemreomroemreomreomreomreomore....!!!!i'm really loving this...
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ok....I will check back later then...I still think its good, but I can't say much right now cause mi sis is chewing on my arm, lol
~Dragonoverall: 7.
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