Shattering Love >Last Chapter, Chapter Six<

She lived in a huge mansion high on the mountain, overlooking the city, where there was always black ice on the ground and icicles on the branches of the trees. 1

No one answered the bell and when no one came to the door after my knocking, I turned the brass doorknob and crept in. 2

I was immediately blinded by the lack of colour and the burst of cold air. All around me, white ice adorned everything. I gathered my coat around me tightly, took a deep breath and climbed up the large marble staircase, in search of him. 3

I opened the first bedroom door cautiously, and cried out in pain. He lay on the ice-cold marble floors, his veins blue and his face chalk, curled up at the foot of the metal, white hospital bed.4

In the bed, the Crystal Beauty sat semi-upright amid a cluster of plush white pillows. She gazed at me coolly through her unfeeling blue eyes.5

“You shouldn’t have come here. You aren’t welcome.” Glancing down at him distractedly, she dismissed me with a casual wave of her dainty hand.6

“Are you satisfied? You’ve seen him, now leave.”7

“No.”  The sound of my voice shocked me.8

“Excuse me?” clearly, she was as surprised as I was.9

“ Just let me make sure that he’s alright, please” I pleaded.10

“ Suit yourself. But I can assure you that he is very much alive.”11

Kneeling down on the ground, I placed his head in my lap. I breathed onto his face, whispering his name, begging for him to wake up.. 12

. In fairy tales, true love was supposed to break all spells. I promised him that if he woke up and I saw that he was okay, I’d leave him with her and never bother either of them again. But please wake up, I had to make sure that he was alright.13

The entire time, the Crystal Beauty watched us with a bemused smile upon her face.  When we both saw that he was beginning to stir, she rose out of bed and stretched like cat, then walked over to us, positioning herself at his feet, where he was sure to see her when he woke up. 14

I looked at her, and hot tears ran down my cheeks and neck. How could he love me when he was offered someone as beautiful as her? Someone who could give him so much more than I could. 15

And he opened his eyes.. slowly.. and painfully, as if from a drunken stupor. 16

He looked up at me and whispered my name. I smiled gently down at him, then looked at her. I wanted to make sure that he saw her. Slowly, his head turned towards the stunning creature that she was. He stared at every perfect curve of her body, every fine detail until I began to feel my heart slowly tear. I wanted to die right then. Destroy my body and numb all feeling before I would be subjected to the unbearable pain of knowing for sure that he was lost for good this time. 17

But he looked away. His eyes turned to me and pulled my face down and pressed my lips against his, melting away all the cold and ice inside as the ice palace around us shattered and Summer came into full bloom.18

What did you think? Please comment!

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  • Sweet Children
    July 2, 2005
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    I loved the whole thing. But what made him so ill? Hm. Still a great story.


  • Amicus2K9
    April 27, 2005
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    well blow me over...it did kinda have a happy ending...but you left a lot of questions unanswered...who was the beauty...what was his illness...what happens next...but...oh well...nice story but it needs more! smiles... best regards...amicus...


  • SnowAngel1317
    July 27, 2004
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    Comments


    peacefulcarnage on Nov 27, 2003, 11:53 p.m.
    3 critiques, 12 poems. said:
    Verdict: GREAAAAAAAAAAAT
    wow crazy story
    i like it
    cheap IKEA curtains? i like it nice comic relief
    good story i love it!@!
    hahahahah its GRRRRRRRRRREAAAT (reply?)

    Meaka on Jan 01, 7:14 p.m.
    232 critiques, 21 poems. said:
    Beautiful Beautiful. You have so much inside you that you have shown in this...the songs that were sung, the story of the lion and the horses...you are utterly creative and unique, and I love this story more than any other short story I have EVER read. What moved me the most was the "I told him..." and the next 3 that follow. Only one critique: "When we both saw that we" I think you meant "he." Other than that, this is beautiful, driving me to tears. I have never like love stories, but you have changed me. Congrads! ~Laura (reply?)

    SweetThang on Jan 03, 1:40
    199 critiques, 39 poems. said:
    That was really beautiful. Lots of parts were sad, but then end was happy. Wish I had some one like that, loved me for who I was. very sweet and intriging write, once I started reading I couldn't stop. Very well done. (reply?)


  • February 26, 2004
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    I think this poem had a bit to much romance( not that I am trying to be horrible ). I dont like romance much. I liked every thing else though. The words were really interesting and you had suspense.This story was 7/10 for me.
    If you want you can read my story about a time travelling key. So thanks for sharing your story with us.

    pinkwhite