Staring into the sunrise through the open window, she heard it. A scream, faint at first, growing in strength as the seconds ticked by. She stood up from her chair as her sister ran in as if being chased by the very devil himself. "Maria, what happened?" Maria sat there shaking uncontrollably, her hair matted with what Clarrissa could only asume was sweat.
"He's dead. I saw him die Clarissa. Oh Clarissa, it was so horrible, and I saw it..."
"He? Who is he?" asked Clarissa, growing more anxious as the time went on.
"O sissy, Daniel killed himself!" she sobbed. And then she passed out, leaving Clarissa to support her unconscious sister in her arms. 1
Tears sprang into Clarissa's eyes and started streaming down her cheeks as she collapsed to the floor, her sister still limp in her arms. How could their only brother do this to them? Their father had left them when they were only babies, and their mother had died in an accident 5 years ago, leaving Clarissa, the most mature of the triplets, to watch over the household. It wasn't a very large house, no more than two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a den, but at the time it was far more than a fourteen year old should be left in charge of. Now at nineteen, Clarissa found herself still in charge, and realization that her sister must be taken care of finally dawned upon her. She stood up, and began the tedious process of reviving her sister. 2
Maria woke minutes later, and was forced into drinking the glass of water her sister handed to her. Both girls sat there, dwelling in their own thoughts. Finally, Clarissa broke the silence. “How did he die?” she asked softly.
“He jumped off the bridge a couple miles from here.” Clarissa moaned softly, burying her face in her hands so her sister wouldn’t see the fresh onslaught of tears.
“Clarissa?” Maria whispered. Clarissa looked up to see a scared expression on her sister’s face. “Clarissa, what will happen now?” Clarissa sat there, staring back at her sister.
“Maria, do you want the truth?” Maria slowly nodded. “Well, the truth is, I haven’t a clue what will happen to us now.” 3
They continued sitting there in silence until it grew dark. Clarissa stood up and began lighting candles. Daniel had been the only one to bring home any money. That slight sum had been hardly enough to feed them, let alone pay for electricity. That fact hardly mattered in their secluded cabin though. Their mother had liked the idea of living in the wilderness, providing for themselves. The closest town being over five miles away, Clarissa had always made Daniel walk to town every week and buy the food. They weren't sure where he got the money, but he hadn't told them and they hadn't asked. 4
The sisters sat in the den, brushing their long, thick hair for lack of anything better to do. All three of the triplets had been exceptionally beautiful. Brilliant blue-green eyes were excentuated by the mane of black hair surrounding their faces. Daniel had always kept his short, but the girls grew theirs until it reached their slender waists. It was one of the few things they could be proud of, for they did not own many nice things. 5
The silence stretched into the late hours of the night, until both girls, laden with grief, drifted off to a dreamless sleep. In the morning they would have to face the reality of their brother's death, but for now, sleep would comfort their troubled minds.6
Author notes
well, i know this is a short chapter. but please, be nice. its my first story. and check back for more in the next chapters, things WILL clear up. i promise
Please, tell me what you think of it so far, and what could be added or changed.
Comments
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I agree with the Jaden Beast. It's confuseing whether or not Clarissa knew her brother died when her sister ran in and I agree that they seem more worried about their well being than their brother. Why was he the only one to bring in money? Couldn't they get jobs? And if he's the one that buys the groceries and provides, it sounds like he seems the most mature. So there's some questions for you and maybe they will be anwered for me along the next chapters. And thanks for the newfound friendship. Feel free to pick apart my stories as well.
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I like it! I can't wait to read more. for a first story, this is really good....my sucked...and still does. you are talented.
~Dragon -
Short. Almost too short.
Well.. I must say, it WAS really short. I mean VERY REALLY short. But hey, that's fine. Apparently you'll finish it one day.
The story really gets in and intense fast. There is no background to it or anything, so it kind of just a beginning with no clear conflict (well, I mean, as clear as "he killed himself" but not as WHY he did or anything...)
Also, the girls seem more worried that he won't provide for them more so than sad because he died. I hope that there's a reason for that...
Good dialogue, though. I wanna see some more clear details and a stronger beginning.
Just food for thought :-)
<3 -
wow.... I like your plot! it's so cool, i mean... this isn't your averenge story... even if it seems short, and you could have added another paragraph it was so cute!!! I hope the next chapter would clear up the confusion on "who" was daniel, "where" did he get the money,and "why" did he commit suicide...
I also hope you could describe your characters more... like ehat do they look like... it would be easier to picture the whole story if you describe your settings, characters more...
again... looking forward on reading the rest of this...
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