The Wall

It had been another one of those days. And before I knew it I stood in front of a wall of my own making. A wall that separated me from the one place I longed to be. I stared at it angrily, trying to will it away with my mind. But the wall remained impenetrable. For a moment I considered turning back like I had so many times before. After all, the wall would still be there tomorrow.
But no, not today. I needed to be on the other side. More importantly, I needed the person waiting for me. So without another thought, I began pounding on the wall. I tried to break through the all the calluses, destroy all the doubt, and throw away each distraction that made up a stone in the gray monster I had created. I pounded and pounded until my arms grew sore, but it wasn’t working. It almost seemed the harder I worked the thicker my wall got. But still I kept pushing. I would get through! I had to. After what seemed like hours, I could almost see through the wall. I could see the peace and comfort that awaited me on the other side. But I couldn’t get through. I would never get through.
Finally, I fell to my knees in defeat, with tears of sheer exhaustion streaming down my face. How did I get here? I came to realize that my wall had not been built in a day but built stone by stone over a few months. I had let life get in the way of the one thing I needed the most. I hadn’t gone anywhere. I stayed right there, close, subconsciously building my wall. I had unconsciously pushed Him, right when I needed Him the most. It had been gradual; no one else would ever notice the pain building inside of me. But I couldn’t take it anymore. Slowly, I began knocking gently on my wall.
“Lord,” I whispered, “help me.”
Then I heard a pounding on the other side of the wall. The wall began to fall away piece by piece. All my calluses, all my distractions, they all fell away. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I took it and then He led me, still crying, into a shining white room.
“Welcome to the Throne Room.” The voice told me, “I’ve been waiting.”
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