He couldn't believe that he actually got away. The monster had been chasing him since 10:15 last night. He checked his watch; it was almost 7:00. Whatever the monster was, it had killed the other two trackers that had come along with him.1
A couple on their honeymoon had reported seeing a bear. By the way they had described it, it was probably a grizzly. Aaron, Tom, and Phillip had been out tracking down the bear when they heard a noise. By the time they turned to see what it was it was to late, the monster was to close for them to do anything. 2
Aaron shuddered as he remembered their screams as they were torn to pieces. He had almost puked when the monster left and he glimpsed the remains, all that was left was their heads. Apparently the monster did not like the heads.
He had been behind a bush taking a pee when it happened, so the monster hadn't saw him. But when he had taken off the monster heard him and had been tracking him since then. 3
Aaron knew that he had to get his wife out of the house before the monster ever thought to go there. He was smarter than to go to the house and have the creature follow him, so he got out his cell phone and dialed his number. As soon as his wife, Raechel, picked up the phone he knew something was wrong.4
She was breathing hard and there was a gunshot in the background.
"Who is it?!?" she half yelled half asked
"Its Aaron." he said
"Where are you?" she yelled
"There’s a monster out side our house" she said
"I called the cops but the monster isn’t affected by their bullets!" she said
"OK just stay there im going to come and try and distract it away." said Aaron
"Hurry up please." she said5
But Aaron hadn't heard, after he heard the gun shot in the background he had taken off and was barely listening to the phone. After about 15 minutes of running he saw his house.
The front door was completely ripped off. Almost immediately after he noticed this he heard his wife scream from the inside of the house. He took off towards the house. Then suddenly he was in the air with a pain in his side that he'd never felt before. He landed on his face as pain that felt like lightening shot up his side. He looked up into the ugly face of the monster.
But if the monster was here then what was his wife screaming about, he thought. Shoot why hadn't he thought of it, there was more than one monster. He had assumed that since there was a monster attacking his house that it was the one following him from the killing of his fellow trackers. So Aaron did the only thing he could think of, he poked the monster in the eyes.
As soon as his fingers made contact with the monsters eyes, Aaron took off for the house, all the while feeling the pain in his side. When he got inside he saw the thing he feared the most, his wife in the clutches of the monster. She was wriggling and screaming for all she was worth but it wasn’t affecting the monsters grip or ears at all.
Suddenly Aaron heard a gunshot. He looked over to see a dazed, half-dead cop laying in the corner with a revolver in his hand. Aaron saw that he was about dead so he ran over and took the revolver out of his hand. It was at this point that he realized what Raechel had said on the phone earlier, that the monster wasnt affected by their bullets. So he had to think, but he was running out of time the monster was slowly but steadily tighting its grip and squeezing Raechel to death.6
He thought back to the other monster that he had poked in the eyes. The eyes he thought, that must be it their eyes are the only thing that can be hurt by our weapons. Aaron checked the revolver, he had 3 shots left he would have to be careful and take good aim. So he threw a couple of rocks to get the monsters attention and then as the monster turned to look he took aim and fired. The bullet struck dead center in the middle of its skull. 7
THe monster just stared at him like he was a complete idiot. So Aaron took aim again and fired, SUCCESS the bullet hit the monster in the left eye. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH the monster wailed as it fell to the ground in agony, as soon as it hit the ground Aaron ran to it and got Raechel out of its grip. 8
He layed her on the bed next to the wall and went out to try and kill the other monster. As soon as he stepped outside he saw a peice of wood fly at him and then eveything went black.9
Aaron and Raechel died that night the monsters tore them apart peice by peice....10
Author notes
yup got extremely bored and stayed up till midnight to finish it i love you Raechel
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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thnx for the comments guys and gals
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very good
not all messed up like your other story.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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the thought of having a monster run after you was-even if it's kinda common- but you made it unique because of the thing about the family thing...
the ending wasn't really a "wow" coz it was so predictable, and don't get me wrong... I love happy endings, just that the ending that was of your story is kinda out-dated... I mean this ending is of a fairy tale like: snow white and the seven dwarfs, etc...beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


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