Shattering Love >Chapter Five<

I just vanished. Merely a shadow that once resided in a lone corner1

For the rest of spring, I shrank within myself, staying at my flat and writing stories of stunning, evil witches who lured innocent boys with autumn-coloured curls into their lairs, only to devour them body and soul. 2

When autumn came and I finally had the courage to go back to the Looking Glass, everything that had once been was shattered. All around me, there was shimmer and glistening glitter, yet it was so much colder now. A frozen ice-land.3

I went back home that evening and cried all night on my bed. My whole being had been connected to him, I had shared all I had with him and now she had taken him away, along with all of me but my body. 4

When she had first taken him, it had hurt inexplicably, all the pain in history. Yet I had taken it within me and buried it beneath angry stories and poems. There had always been the hope that at least I could go back to the Looking Glass and see him if I ever needed to. But now she had taken him away and I could never find him again. 5

There were rumors in the streets, at the Looking Glass, at the store.  I'll give you all you’ve ever wanted. I’ll make you forget everything that ever hurt you. The Crystal Queen had promised him. That's what everyone said. 6

If only I could have promised him such a thing. He didn’t want to remember all the agony of his past. He wanted to forget it all. Be numb. 7

I covered my glass window with cheap curtains from IKEA; I couldn’t stand looking across into his empty flat anymore. It hurt too much.8

When spring and come and gone, I had become a ghost of my former self. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t write, all I could do was wonder if he was still alive and if even remembered me at all. I had to go see him.  9