My Mind Away From Me Pt. 2

Hmmm. . . How love blindes those who are victim to it. Sure it makes the world go round, and we all long for it. But when you've seen through all the lies and bullshit. You begin to wonder how much was truth from the beginning. All the lies and half-truths could push me over the edge from whence there is no return. I've had enough of it. I want to forget her, i want to move on. I want to be free of this bullshit. Yet like a fly is drawn to death, or a moth is drawn to light. I can't stop, im fatally addicted to her. Maybe its because she was my first and showed me what it meant to love, then tossed me aside because she was weak. There may be some other reasons but I know thats one of them. She couldn't handle being alone, not when there were so many guys to lavish their attention upon her. All the attention went to her head, she lost her purity because she said she changed. I may not know the whole truth, but from the pieces ive collected, its not pretty. Its pretty sad that I almost gave up my life for this. Yet idk. . . would a life blind from the truth but with her be any better? They say ignorance is bliss. What I would give for that. The one good thing ive gotten out of this is a good honest friend, someone that knows my pains from her as intimately as I do. He too is now feeling my paranoia, my need to know the truth, even if its an ugly one, my pain and maybe more. I love him like a brother, but i am trying to be her friend also. Yet all i do is remind her of my pain. And since i care for him, i will not let her play her games and tricks with him. I may be lost to my maliciousness, but maybe its not too late for him. If anything i will atleast die knowing I helped him from falling into a web of lies and half-truths.1