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When I was very small and continually looking up
I’d heard the people talking about the Melbourne Cup
In November they would hold it and it drew from far and wide
Persons from all places with a sense of National pride
The gentlemen would mingle, dressed up in suit and tie
The ladies donned their finery to catch the young men’s eye
Now hats were an accessory you couldn’t go without
Only used for Cup day and then you threw them out!
All colors, shapes and sizes some were in the style extreme
With a hundred thousand people you had to get them seen!
Some would come in limousines and some would drive their car
But if you drank too much champagne then the train was best by far!2
Now I guess I haven’t touched on it, that isn’t fair of course,
It wasn’t just a picnic day; we were there to see a horse!
Not any horse would do, but a blueblood rare and fine
Who could win a race of stamina and stand the test of time
Etch his name in history and when the day was done
We’d be talking up the name of our newest champion3
In the eighteen hundreds Archer from Sydney had to walk
He couldn’t win with such a trip was all the local talk
But Archer had the last laugh he won it there and then
Returned once more the next year and promptly won again!
A chestnut horse arrived in the twenties on a truck
His trainer took one look at him and declared ‘I’ve got a duck’!
He’d win no beauty contests with his warts and skinny tail
The punters laughed and jeered sure the horse would fail
But with a strong conviction Telford trained him on the sand
By the year of nineteen thirty he was known throughout the land
Phar Lap was an icon to a land in dire straits
If you had no cash to back him then you borrowed from your mate!
When Cup day rolled around the horse shone with Aussie pride
His strapper Tommy Woodcock was always by his side
Some had tried to shoot the horse but it wasn’t meant to be
He entered by the Members gate shrouded in much secrecy
Hidden from the public till Cup time had arrived
He went and won it easily and took home the finest prize4
When the gates fly open and the horses start this race
All you hear is cheering resounding through the place
It’s never any different be it long ago or now
We Aussies love a champion amongst Flemington’s famous flowers
In spring the roses bloom there in every color shade
If you venture to the Carnival you truly have it made5
And now that I am older and understand the game
The feeling is still similar and emotions are the same
When springtime comes to Melbourne I head out to the course
To witness history in the making and another mighty horse.6
Author notes
The Melbourne Cup in Spring is an Australian tradition where the entire nation has a holiday and stops to listen to a horse race. Unbelievable but true!!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this reminds me a little of "the man from snowy river" - something about the rhythm you've got going. the rhyming scheme works really well and reminds me of a horse's gait through its regularity.
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Wish we had a holiday when our Ascot and Cheltenham races are on! Once more, clever wording. The patriotism shines through as strongly as always, plus i can't see any mistakes grammar wise. Excellent
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Nice rhyming, actually it was great. The story was great too. It flowed very well. Possibly throw some more indepth depictions of the scenary and what not, so it doesn't seem like time is jumping so quickly all the time. But, really, it was a great piece of work.
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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Wow, you used The Melbourne Cup as a guide to writing a a poem and you succeeded in a good write. The fact that it each of the two lines rhyme with one another is truely great. Props on that!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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wow
coolbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Awsome
You write really good poetry. You get into a rythm and can't stop reading. I love the way that you havn't put in sentences totally out of the ordinary, just to make it ryhme.
Really good writing keep it up; especially becasue it about us Aussie's!!!beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 3, overall: 7, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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It had a good flow and the rhymes (sp?) weren't forced. Please forgive my spelling, I think they invented spell check just for me lol
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I think its very interesting that the whole nation really gets into this. Great sense of national pride.
Good job.
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