Numbers

There are six numbers that rule my life. They were lucky and significant to me for differing reasons, but now they have grown into something more. They have made me wealthier than I ever dreamed possible. They have made me famous and sought after. They have also made me lonely.1

In my first few years I lived at the end of the street. My family had the task of looking after the lane so that others who lived in our lot of terraced houses could access the garages and parkland at the back of the building. I learnt many things as I grew up there: the value of a dollar (100 lollies from the corner store), the value of friendship (a warm hug to keep away the chill of an English winter), and the value of pets (free rides to the smallest kids of the street). Our house number, the number 52 represents all those things to me.2

At the age of 7, my family packed itself up and moved to Australia. We sold most of our worldly things and left all of our family and friends behind. It was exciting. It was terrifying. I faced it as a child does - optimistic that my family would always be there to fall back on, as long as my teddy was close at hand.3

The darkness of this new country (being ever so used to the bright lights on the streets of England) awoke my imagination. I became terrified of the dark and intrigued by the night sky. I made up stories of goblins and gremlins coming to take me away. I took to flying through the stars in childish conversations with my dad while we sat on the back verandah in the summer heat. At the age of 10 I started to write about these experiences and live them over and over through that writing.4

Eventually, my parents bought the house we still occupy. The house sits on the junction between two streets that have joined to become one. Our house is number 53. We sit at the lowest point of the road, with the highest number. In this house I've experienced many things. I've felt the world fall away when told of a friend's death. I've touched heaven through loving kisses and caressess. I've been on highs and lows, through different stages of my life and always felt safety under this roof, behind these walls.5

Through all these things I've had a secret. One that I was sure would devour me. When I was 19, I could hold that secret no longer. I told all that were my friends and family that I am gay. My family were shocked but recovered well. I lost most of my friends but gained others. Old friends that didn't leave me instantly managed to slowly drift away, but not without uncomfortable silences where there used to be companionship. It is my fact of life, but is no longer a burden to my sanity.6

Then, the number 2. My hopeful number. The number that, in my mind, represents a couple. A partnership between two people who love each other. A relationship based on trust, understanding and honesty. A contract to love one another forever. A number I had not yet achieved.7

These were my lotto numbers. I played them whenever my budget allowed. Luckily, or unluckily, they won! And I got 3.9 billion dollars.8

I paid off the loans of my immediate family. With no debt, they were happier in their work and healthier because of their attitude shift. I also offered to pay any rates notices for the next five years on all of their properties. I think they liked all of this.9

I bought a new car for each of my loyal friends so that they could feel safe on the roads. I paid for any extras they wanted on the cars, their first year insurance, registration and any services and repairs they needed in the first year. They went mad with excitement but they seemed afraid. My money intimidated them.10

I gave millions of dollars to each cancer research organisation I could think of in the first day. They wanted to put plaques with my name all over the place but I was sure the money could be better spent elsewhere.11

I bought myself a nice house in a nice part of town. It's not a mansion, but it's not a hovel. It's the house I always dreamed of but it's empty.12

I gave more millions to aid the education of farmers for better crops, prevention of the spreading of HIV, improved awareness of birthing problems and how to rectify them, and many other causes that I can't even remember.13

I was and still am hounded by media. I am one of only two female billionaires in Australia. Men constantly send me proposals. They want to be part of my money. Women also send proposals, these I look at.14

I am wealthier than I ever dreamed possible, thanks to my lucky numbers 52-7-10-53-19-2. But I am no closer to the elusive number 215