Move Along II

I lay sprawled out on my bed, counting the seconds of life. I'm left wondering why he never turned off the phone, and why he decided to put it next to his dresser. Maybe it was so that I could witness his pain, feel it for him, and know what it is like to die. 1

After I reach a very high number, and get sidetracked with a million other thoughts about the stupid world, I have no choice but to walk downstairs to an empty house, where nobody cares, not even the walls. 2

And even if walls could talk, I'm sure they would be pissed with me. I'm always leaning against them, like I can't hold myself up by myself, and I'm always casting my shadows and reflections against them. Personally, I would kill me if I was a wall.3

I walk into our living room with half a banana in my right hand. It looks like it's rotting as I walk to the coffee table and set it down. I carefully study it, hoping that maybe I could name it and it would come to life, become my new best friend.4

Unfortunatly all it does is sit there and pretend it's not listening to me, even though I know under that yellow (which is more brown and spotted than anything) peel, is waiting for me to fall over and bawl my eyes out until they become all red and puffy and I look like I have red blowfish for eyes. 5

I feel the walls eyeing my suspiciously so I swiftly glance at them, hoping they'd go back to minding my own business with my banana who I decided I will name Earl. 6

Author notes

Second chapter.

Is this just boring, or does it really give you that 'feel' for Ryley?

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Comments


  • sheissounsure
    June 3, 2006
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    it's pretty good but weird that she named a banana...seems she got some issues....lol but this makes me wanna know more about me.......


  • Rebel Rebel silver member
    May 26, 2006

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    It gives you a feel for Ryley, yes.

    More so than the first chapter. I once wrote a poem about shadows dancing on the wall and solitude. A friend of mine as the time said that it was the best stuff that he had ever read.

    Reading this Second Chapter reminded me of some of my past days. If we have to eat for compensation then fruit is the best way to go. Less calories. And we do not have to fight fat in the process.

    I live in a lonely apartment. Very separated from my family that will never understand me. And I will never understand them. I was raised without values. I had to find them on my own quite divorced from family influences.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 9, ending: 5, characters: 5.