Pain So Great

White sunlight drifted through the thin curtains that flowed with the caressing wind. A woman with her hair loose over her shoulders held a small girl in her lap. The baby was wearing a white gown suitable for a young princess ready to attend a royal marriage. A small red bow held a lock of dark red hair making it bounce and curl with each movement of the child.
In coaxing words, the women spoke to the young girl, making the three-year-old giggle with delight and happiness. I wished everyday for that happiness to find me. But, I knew, it never would.
I looked down and grimaced. The tattered gray dress I wore was too small for me and my shoes had turned black over the years. I wasn’t allowed to wear clothes that fit me. Nor was I allowed to get clean white shoes like the ones that all the girls in my school wore. I wasn’t even allowed to wear a bow in my hair.
Because of this appearance and my quiet personality, all the students that attended my school stayed away from me. Thus, I had no friends and no one to talk to.
Hidden in the shadows of the hallway I watched my mother read one of my sister’s favorite faerie tales. Chelsea giggled and laughed, her hair bouncing left then right. Clapping her petite hands, she looked up from her book and directly at me.
I was about to leave when she spoke,
“Who’s that?” Her perky voice was mixed in with confusion.
“Who?” My mother looked at the doorway where I sat on the bare floor.
“Oh. That.” Her perfect face turned to disgust as she glared at me.
“Is she an angel to, mama?” Chelsea’s bright green eyes watched me closely, trying to decipher what I was.
“Oh no, sweetie. That thing is not an angel like you.” My mother held Chelsea closer, running her slender fingers through Chelsea’s straight hair.
“Is she a princess then?” Chelsea’s face scrunched up in confusion.
“Princess’s aren’t ugly like that thing and they certainly do not where rags”
“Maybe she’s a faerie.”
“No. She’s not a faerie.”
“What is she then?”
“She’s a monster, Chelsea. An ugly monster.”

I awoke from my restless slumber with a racing heart and tear filled eyes. Struggling out of the tangle of bed sheets, I jumped from the bed and ran for the bathroom. Running inside, I quickly locked the door and fell to my knees in front of the white toilet and puked.

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