Moon upon an Angel

 It’s another night down in the city, and I’m out again. Walking the streets for some action, looking for whatever I can find. The full moon is up and I feel like a million bucks, couldn’t feel any better if I tried. Suddenly I spot a woman walking down in front of me, she’s dressed like a 10-dollar hooker. The smell is almost like musk to me, the cheap perfume wakes my senses, sharpens them to the max. Quietly I follow her down the street, trying to keep myself at a distance from her. It’s a challenge, a challenge that only makes the hunt more fun. Smiling like a wolf, feeling like a predator with a single mind and a single cause. The switchblade in my pocket feels like God; I’m God now. Her steps is even, she doesn’t even know I’m behind her. Minute after minute passes, and I get more and more excited. My God, I feel my dick harden at the very thought. I mustn’t get to eager. So I slow down, walking calmly and wait for the moment, the perfect moment. The moment of the kill. She suddenly takes a turn down a dark alley. Now. Now is the time, I walk down as I have done so many times before, turning in.. Closing the noose, setting the trap.

Suddenly she stops and turns. She looks back, but can’t see me. But like a deer she senses danger, I can suddenly smell the fear in her breaking sweat. Her eyes wide open, like a trapped animal knowing it cannot escape. But she tries, she turns to bolt.

That’s when I take my chance, I jump at her tossing my arm around her neck. She’s trapped, trying to scream but my hand is clasped around her mouth faster than she can open it. Taking out the switchblade, I open it and with one quick flick I have slit her throat wide open. She stiffens for a moment, then relaxes.

Turning her head I look into her eyes as her life slowly dribbles away on the ground, her eyes become slowly like stone and her body light as air. She is an angel now, body and soul.

Dropping her body in the back of the alley, I know she will be discovered soon. Making my way out of there I walk towards a nearby bar to drink for a while. Maybe I’ll get caught, maybe not. I really don’t care. My desires satisfied, my blade has gotten its fill. And the moon shines down on another angel tonight

 

 

1

Author notes

A grizzly tale about a murderer and the hunt for the victim

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Mad-Hatter
    May 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    hmmmm.........

    Well, that was very quick. Regardless, it seems to give an insight into the killer's mind. According to Law & Order SVU, a lot of killer's actually think like this!

    The beginning was good, and I wasn't expecting it to take the turn it did. Especially since it starts out, "I felt like a million bucks."

    The ending was equally good. I never thought of it that way before. In killing her, and taking away every physical possession she has, he's actually.... helping her?


    The only characters were the hooker and the killer, and the killer's the one who you put all the interest in. Regardless, Mr. Killer Man is definately an interesting character, or at least a dangerous one.

    The plot itself was thought-provokative, which is good because not many stories do that these days.


    The language could use a bit of work.

    "The switchblade in my pocket feels like God, I’m God now." needs a semicolon, not a comma.

    "her eyes becomes slowly like stone"

    becomes should be 'become'.


    And aside from that it was an interesting story.

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, overall: 6, ending: 4, characters: 3.


  • Rebel Rebel silver member
    May 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting.

    His dick got hard but it was not used at all; the knife got all the action. It was quick and fast and furious. Then he had the nightcap at the bar. I wonder how she went from hooker to saint in so short a time? She may be a demon in hell now, getting down there what the hard dick did not give her here.

    beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 1, overall: 6, ending: 4, characters: 3.