When Gnomes Attack

A windmill screams as it turns, an evil grin as the blood drips from a well. Beware it is the gnomes to exact ravage on the humans.
Gnomes?!? You are laughing now aren’t you? Don’t be this is very serious; there have been an increasing number of reports from seemingly random maul attacks in gardens. It may seem random but in every garden that was reported in these maul attacks there has a true to the color bon a fide gnome.
To understand these attacks you must go back to the history of these red-capped garden dwellers. In Germany, after the old gods left, there appeared in the first garden: a gnome. Early gnome keepers did not know what kind of evil they would harbor; they kept the gnomes and cared for them. Years went by and gnomes steadily grow in popularity. “The more the worshipers, the more the power,” or so says the old gods. The gnomes, which were actually a smallish troll, grew in power and strength. Now the gnomes are relished in power starts to reach out and attack random things in the garden at night. We should be thankful that they are trolls and cannot go out in the daylight hours.
But there is some relief, to combat these evil critters of the night, and it is called the rubber chicken. Yes, a rubber chicken; but not just any rubber chicken, it has to be one that squeak otherwise it won’t work against the gnome. Gnomes apparently have no power over these elastic poultry, and they fall victim to the squeaking over and over again. The gnomes will kill themselves just to stop the squeaking.
If you question my findings and serious remarks just remember that the column of truth has a hole full of lies.
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