All alone, we stood in the room. Timid and shy, the virgin bride, I watched my lover draw me into his embrace. His lips barely touched and my passions were on the raise. He looked deep into my eyes and I knew my love for him was there for him to see. He pulled me closer as our kiss deepened, sending all kinds of magical shivers through my soul. A soft moan escaped along my neck creating waves of pleasure through my body. I could feel the heat within my core as I lost my self to the masterful caresses of my gentle love's hands. Knowingly he moved his lips down my neck, placing soft kisses on my collarbone as his hands unzipped my top. Instinctively, my back arched as I gave him better access to my breasts that cried for his attention, attention that he lavished on them. The heat of his breath caused my nipples to pucker up as they scratched against the lace of my bra. My fingers dug into his shoulders as he bit and tugged at them through the lace. I gasped as his tongue invaded my lacey fortress, he suckled each breasts to there release as I felt the wetness gather and escape. Thoughts raced through my mind.1
"Is this real? Will it hurt? What does this mean…?"2
My inexperience so obvious, fears so natural, as I tried to settle myself. My need to draw a breath was overpowering…escape. I pulled myself out of his embrace, my body shaking as I smiled.3
"Let me slip into something more comfortable"4
I hurried to the dressing room, standing before the mirror I took a deep breath. I looked at myself, chiding myself for my anxiety. This is what I wanted, what I yearned for. I turned around and quickly shed off all my clothes, leaving my black lace bra and thong. I pulled out a sheer slip and let its gauzy material settle over my body. I grabbed the brush and touched up my hair, sprit zing perfume and adding a dash of lip gloss. I took stock of my looks and smiled. I left the dressing room, leaving behind all my fears and worries.5
I saw him laying there on our bed; I smiled as I noticed the rose petals that he had strewn on the sheets. I walk over trying to shake off my embarrassment, my shyness but who was I kidding. I was excited, I was full of anticipation yet the thought of him seeing my naked glory was causing my entire body to blush with pleasure. He took my hand and kissed my palm, rubbing his cheek against my skin. He pulled me onto the bed and I couldn't help but giggle. We kissed and kissed, it seemed like we'd never stop. How we moved, our hands exploring each other, so softly and slowly. 6
I still have no idea how he managed to disrobe me, but he did. Kissing and caressing every inch of my body. My sighs grew louder and deeper as my instincts took over, twisting, opening up, arching as his lips and tongue touched my deepest parts. My body shook with every orgasm (didn't know I could have so many). My shyness completely gone as he rose and looked into my eyes. I could feel his hardness against my softness as he moved above me. his eyes probing my soul as he whispered… I love you. his movement was swift and sure as he took my maidenhood. My eyes widened at the intrusion amazed that it didn't hurt as much as I thought. He stood still as my body stretched to adjust to his presence. 7
He moved and I moved with him as though we had done made love a thousand times before (we had in my mind) it was like this knowledge that had been buried deep with in me. Our moans grew as we held on to each other, our tempo rising as we reached our peak. 8
To say it was like fireworks in my mind, body and soul wouldn't do it justice. My being shook with his love as I could feel his seed filling me. I remember the tenderness in his eyes as he kissed my face. How he held me through the night… how wonderful I felt, whole and complete as the woman who found her man.
9
Author notes
This is a Collaboration work between me and Ayten Ali
A contest entry
- Passion!!! by Rebel Rebel.
176 points, ended May 18, 2006, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Seamless and virgin
-
Scintillating stuff. What I liked most about this was the story was exciting and erotic but never descended into vulgarity. The detailed description was tantalising and teasing, inviting you in as a voyeur, vicariously enjoying this sexy yet somehow innocent encounter. camus
-
Passion in story form.
Your greatest passion has been revealed and we must make of it what we can. It is a passion involving two. It is a shared passion. It is a completing passion. It satisfies. It leaves us with a wonderful feeling.language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 5, characters: 3.
-
AHEM!!!
" A soft moan escaped along my neck creating waves of pleasure through my body. I could feel the heat within my core as I lost my self to the masterful caresses of my gentle love's hands." i think that was the most vivid part, b/c it describes every move, as well as the emotions, the passion, and the burning desire for more. This also presents that sweet making love, not just sex.
Actually, the whole piece has that pure love feeling to it, and the word choice, timid, shy, and such, create that maiden angel.it shows the insicurities as well, as you say things like i thought it would hurt more, and didn't know you could get so many. And her desire to please her lover, but maybe not exactly sure how to do that...as she tries to "change into something more comfortable." I think that works very well.
in the first paragraph, i feel that there is too quick of a transiting from neck to breats.
"My fingers dug into his shoulders as he bit and tugged at them through the lace. I gasped as his tongue invaded my lacey fortress, he suckled each breasts to there release as I felt the wetness gather and escape." i think it's a lil too BOOM! [ i hope u know what i mean with "boom" lol] from the speaker holding him, to "tongue invaded my lacey fortress" since earlier you gave such vivid description of the passion and desire. you might want to show that sweet transition from neck to breasts... that path maybe... as the speaker feels the anticipation building up.
i don't know, that's just my silly opinion. it's not like i have personal experience on this... lol, so...yeah.
i think it's a really good piece. it is a very tasteful write.
i never used story write b4, so i am not sure how this works. lolbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
-
Great written story Nermin. Words and dialoges are used with a great attention. Time to be remembered. Nice, soft and sensual descriptions make this story to be a little masterpiece. Little because this is a short story, but in it's meaning it is great. Bravo.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, overall: 9, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
-
Excellent!
You made me remember my first!!!!
Excellent! ... Add some dailogues to make it more enjoyable.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 9, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
