One day there was a world with no fighting, no wars, nothing but happiness and joy. Nevertheless for some reason things change. For instance hatred and hope began to come into our world as things were getting destroyed. People may say it was down to us. Why? Why would we want to destroy our world forever? Why do people want to destroy it for others? What gave man that kind of hatred?1
There have been stories told about how fisherman, go to sea, just to pollute it. Another is we catch foxes just to kill them, why? What makes us so special to any other animal or creature on this planet? You may think it’s just an ant, it has got feelings and it’s alive like us. Why destroy it?2
We go on as if we rule the land why? It’s not ours. Why don’t we not treat it; with respect, then maybe we would get some back? Why do we not treat each other with respect and love, we may be different; or some similar, So please tell me why we are so cruel?3
Why do wars break out? Why can’t we put our differences to one side? Why don’t we try to get along? Why do we have to kill each other what does it achieve? Why can’t we live our lives until it’s our time? Why should man kill each other?4
All the people in the world who’s ill, you may wish you could help them; of course it’s man who is creating all the misery. Take for instance, how children cruelty is, that’s down to us. Look how animal cruelty is that is also down to us.5
People go wagging their fingers accusingly at others, why don’t they look how they are first? Why can’t the world be peace and harmony? 6
Every split second someone dies, another tree goes crashing down to the ground. Us humans, animals we will all become extinct. Look how tree frogs, red squirrels and whales start to become extinct because we cut down their trees; pollute their water so they die. Why don’t we try listening to one another? Why don’t we enjoy the beauty of nature? Why has everything got to be so cruel, now?7
Why don’t we put a stop to it? Why must we go on? The streets, full of litter and rubbish, is not clever, it’s just polluting our environment, and robbing time from our loved ones and us.8
All we need to do is care for each other, and our environment Why don’t we? You may say there are happy times, which there is; no one denies it. Nevertheless, there’s too much hatred in the world, instead of love. If we were forgiving and kind, if someone did something wrong, we should be willing enough to forgive.9
Why don’t we let go? Why does people stomach churn with hatred. Why do think we have to get our own back? Why do we waste so much of our time plotting a scheme to get back at one other? If it were you: you would be begging for forgiveness. 10
Why don’t people accept us for who and what we are? If everyone is the same, there is nothing to live for. Imagine in time something could happen to you and if someone laughed you would feel hurt, so please tell me why we hurt each other? There must be plenty more fun things in the world to do then hurt each other?11
Why don’t we try and stop hurting and try helping? The world is turning into a ball of hatred. So please, please tell me why?12
Tempers are changing, people are getting eaten way, by there own self-pity, o.k. The world may not get better, however it’s getting worse; we could be polite if others are not. Why not stop now?13
There was a story I heard once about two boys who could not get along, instead of defusing the situation they are willing to fight. Fight to save people, but no other reasons. You’re killing yourself as well as others. If we lost the aggression the world would be a much better place.14
I understand you must kill to survive, but please don’t do it for a sport, what have the poor animals and creatures done to you? Nothing, is the simple answer, you don’t want them. We blame the poor animals and creatures for the illness, if you just look at yourselves for a moment, and you will see it’s us not them. The way the food goes on the floors, the way people touch there hair, pick their noses when they are cooking and even double dip, this is a problem for illness.15
I’m not saying the world should not have any problem’s but please tell me why so many? We have all made our mistakes so why not start all over again it should never be too late!16
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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You raise a lot of questions here, but you don't offer any answers. Which question drives the essay?
Do you think that your essay fulfills that promise? Is this promise the real point of your essay?
Again, you rely on rhetorical/unanswered questions. Why?
Your essay raises some provocative questions about college admission standards. However, the course assignment asked you to deal explicitly.
One rhetorical device that contributes to the sense that your argument remains unclear is your use of rhetorical questions. As I stated, you raise several provocative questions -- perhaps too many -- and you leave them unanswered. Can you determine which questions are most essential? Can you answer these questions, outlining your reasons? If you can, you'll discover your paper's thesis and its structure.
As you develop your argument, consider what proponents Why was it developed? What positive effects has it had? Acknowledging the "other side" helps you to create an argument with backbone. It also helps you to gain objectivity -- something that is eclipsed in this essay, perhaps by your own experiences? If so, you'll want to contain your personal experience -- either by declaring it and getting it out of the way, or by using it to inform (but not to drive) your essay.
If you have any questions regarding these comments, contact me. -
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