Tuesday1
Rain poured down from the skies as Tuesday thundered in. Forty-two students dreaded first hour, which was a gym class that was hated by all. Trudging in and wiping their wet shoes on the mats, these select forty-two tried to find a way to make time hasten, so as to end class earlier.2
Blowing his whistle, the gym teacher claimed that the class was to take a skills test in groups of six for football. Each group could have a thirty second huddle, in which to decide on a play. He claimed that the tests were supposed to be the following day, but due to a "stupid" band and choir concert for "nerds," they were moved up a day.3
A majority of the students in first hour P.E. were in band, choir, or both. They were so offended, that none other than myself, devised a plan. Instead of deciding upon football plays, in our thirty second time outs, we created a play for vengeance.4
Gym class had ended, and the teacher was surprised at the lack of complaints from the students. Those complaints were absent because the effort that it took to complain was being used in the founding of his destruction.5
As all of us evacuated the gym, we would tell a fellow musician of the gym teacher's insult to music. Outraged, a lot of the student body buzzed about new plans for the downfall of this unruly teacher. The catch to the play of vengeance, was that it all had to be worked out and put into action by tomorrow, after school.6
Wednesday7
The news was leaked to the musical director, who had to join in on the fun. As the instruments clicked into place, the choir members hummed a melody, and the musical director frantically searched for her baton, we were ready.8
At cut time, our teacher waved her baton to each and every note that we were to sing or play. The choir joined into the "Horror March" (as it is now called), in a harmonic minor key. The entire portion of musicians that attended our small school marched down the hallways. They dragged a few teachers who enjoyed the intriguing tune along. Sadly, none of these teachers knew what the tune was for.9
Surrounding the office of the P.E. teacher, everyone came to a halt in singing, playing, and marching. The door had swung open as the gym teacher was in mid-sentence. "What is that racket?" Those were the only words that this man could utter. At least, he could only utter such words before he was attacked.10
The trumpet-players attacked first, shoving a mute into his mouth. This would tighten those loose lips. Next, the clarinets came crashing down on the teacher, the piccolos were playing high pitched notes in the teacher's ear, and the drummers were helping with the beating of the teacher. The musical director was conducting this battle, pointing to each section when it was their turn to beat this evil gym teacher.11
After all of the sections were done inflicting pain upon the man, not a word was spoken by anyone. Everyone went on up to the music department, except the teacher, who was lying on the ground in a ball. Normal lives were being lived and the concert was in less than two hours.12
After the gym teacher was sure that nobody was left in the corridor, he tried conquering the sore muscles and managed to sit up. It was hard for him to pull the mute from his mouth, that read: "If you keep your lips tight, we won't be forced to do this again. If this show must be performed again, then it will be even better, for us!"13
The concert went magnificently, and the Physical Education teacher was forced to hear the blaring music, for he was in his office, afraid to come out until all of the students were gone. To himself, he admitted that the music was quite good, but he pretended to hate it in his mind, for such music caused his ego to take a tumble.14
You might just ask what the moral of this story is. Well, there are many. First of all, don't become a P.E. teacher if you cannot shut your mouth when it need be closed. Next, stay on the good side of musical prodigies. Last of all, don't drink a lot. Each drink that you consume kills ten brain cells. Those brain cells might just be useful in the distinction of good comments and risky ones!15
Author notes
Author's Questions/Comments
This is about my gym teacher who made a mean comment about the band/choir concert that is taking place in the gym tomorrow. We made a little group of people that are going to be on strike for gym, but sadly, are not going to go into this big of a battle. That is the joke/story behind the story.
A contest entry
- Comedy! by Tangled Angle.
525 points, ended May 14, 2006, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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You make your grandfather's heart smile with your words. Great story Arielle. In a way, you still played football.
Score: Horror March 42 plus, P.E. Teacher 0.
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Shine the Gold
This is funny! I hope the tuba players got involved!
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HA!
This had me glued the whole time! Some spelling errors here and there, but it didn't matter, because I still knew what you were talking about. It's cool how you tied in a goofy moral to the story- true but funny. I enjoyed the whole thing. Good luck in the contest, this was wicked funny!beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, overall: 8, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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Interesting
I enjoyed this piece. While it did not have me continuously on the floor laughing, it was a fun story to read and it had me mentally relive all of those fantasies that I've had. Good job on the telling of a child's dream! -
I've spent some time myself envisioning terrible things happening to teachers that I hate....sounds like fun
beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 2, overall: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
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Awesome!!
That was hilarious by far!!! Bando geeks all the way. I am a fellow bando nerd, for i play the flute, tuba, trumpet, guitar, piano, and drums. that was an awesome story. loved everyline of it. i too have witnessed jocks and coaches stereotypical veiws of the band. they are not all like that, though. nonetheless, this definitly made me laugh. good luck in the contest!!language: 4, overall: 7.
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Band Beating.
The story is quite entertaining. I am glad that this coach did not get the Chess Club stirred up. He could have been taken out on a bad knight by the student body and been crowned "Queen For A Day."beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 2, overall: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Hmmm, perhaps a little unrealistic, I think he'd just tell you to shut up, but, as you said, it was just a fantasy, so I suppose it works as a piece of escapism. The only other criticism I could have would be the typecasting of Gym Teachers, but again this piece was related to your situation. Overall the piece is one that needs explaining within context, but once explained seems more justified.
I wouldn't say there was a need to start that moralistic element at the end. Lots of people drink, including myself, in going to places to drink, you get the best inspiration, even if it does kill 10 braincells per drink. Bear in mind alcoholism creates some of the best characters.beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, overall: 6, ending: 2, dialog: 2, characters: 2.
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lack of understanding?
Well, I think that you misunderstood this piece. Who would tell who to shut up? Well, anyway, the teacher was the one with the smart (badword) comment that provoked this piece. This started as a true story, but ended fictional.
Also, this is not stereotypical to gym teachers. I prefer not to mention any names here...since this happens to basically be true(from the start as I had previously mentioned).
The drinking thing is basically related to his alcoholism/being an alcoholic and being able to come to the school and have a hangover. He gets to complain about it, yet complains about our class complaining. It is quite hilarious and hypocritical. Also, he has us run 3 miles each week(not that bad), do endurance runs(15 minutes of girls switching with boys sprinting). We lucked out with tackle football...which is my favorite!
Ok, so yeah. I am sorry for offending you in any way. I also have some grammatical errors that I found, but since I have AOL, I cannot edit. Thanks for the comment! -
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Ah
No, no offence caused, heheh. I spose the fact that he comes in hungover gives you the right the criticize, it's just a piece that very much needs a commentary to set it in context, which I guess was already given, except the alcohol bit, anyway, the person that would tell someone to shut up, would be the gym teacher telling the band students to shut up.
One thing I forgot to mention last time was the use of the instruments in the battle. I thought that this was quite a clever touch. Anyway, smell yer later.
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Funny
I really liked this story. It builds you up at the start and you are itching to find out the plan. The plan is a tad strange but i think it suits the teacher! Do you play music or do you just think it would make a funny story to get a teacher to diss it? Very Funny all round and keep ot up!beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, overall: 7, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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