Child hood memories

i remember when i was in the beginning of forth grade my parents fighting alot. my dad would never be home he would sleep at a friends house because him and mom would fight alot. i also remeber when my grandma came over and they told me not to say anyhting to my grandma and i swera i didnt but that didnt stop my dad nocking me out did it. there was a time when i was playing with my dad when all the sudden he socked me in my stomack and in my chest and i could breath at all i went to the liveing room were my mother was at and was balling because i couldnt breath and she just looked at me and didnt do nothing. i think she was affraid him too. i also remember when my sister didnt clean up her room how my dad likeed it and he thrashed it then banged her back against the corner of the wall. all those memories are the ones i remember when i was a child. when igot a little older and me and my sister lived with my mom and got to spend the night with my dad on saturdays. there was this time when he kissed my sisters neck in a non fatherly way...ya know he always treated her differently he gave her money but if i asked it was no and just so much other things. well when i turned 14 the truth came out. i already knew my dad was an alcoholic but then i found out he did drugs he touched my sister when she was little, he rapped my mom, he beat my mom, o and he cheated on my mother so many times with either her suppose to be friends his family members or her sister. so ya i lived in a fucked up familly i guess you can say. now im 16 and i dont talk to my dad. may be like once a year. my sister yep she talks to him she freaken lives with him but thats her. if she can forgive and forget more power to her me i cant. the reason i live the way i live is because of him. i hate it cuz i never really had a father there for me never. but i learned to cope with it by dateing older guys. i felt that by me being with older guys helped me with my father issue. it felt good to be loved by a man. me and my mom are perfect. she is my best friend ya we have are blows but hey every one does1