The Day My Hamster Became Public Enemy Number 1

I woke up with a fright to the sound of a small explosion. I heard some glass rattle. I rubbed my eyes and flicked on my light. I got out and bed and walked over to my hamster cage. I was worried about my hamster, his name was Axe, he hadn’t used his water bottle for two days and he had been in his house thing for two days. I thought about lifting up the lid but I thought that I might wake him up if he was sleeping. “Yes I’m done,” came a voice from the hamster cage.
What in the world, I thought. I lifted up the lid of the hamster cage, “HOLY COW, THERE’S A WHOLE CHEMISTRY LAB,” I yelled.
Axe looked up and scrambled to a bench. The next thing I knew I was surrounded by the smoke from a stun grenade. I whipped out my handkerchief and covered my mouth, and then I snapped my eyes shut. About a minute later I felt something on my chest, “Sorry, just my reactions,” said the unfamiliar voice of Axe.
I opened my eyes to see Axe sitting on my chest, “Wow,” I said, “you can talk.”
“Um, duh,” said Axe.
“How?” I asked.
“I could talk when I was born,” said Axe.
“And why exactly are you mixing chemicals!” I asked.
“I had to make something to put into the White House to make it evacuate,” said Axe.
“What did you make?” I asked.
“You don’t want to know,” said Axe.
“Yes I do,” I protested.
“Let’s just say that it’s something to do with flatulence,” said Axe.
“Look I’ll show you the e-mail I got,” said Axe.
“Okay,” I said.
Axe went over to his cage and went into his house thing. He came out carrying a small projector, and then he scurried back into his house. A few seconds later he came out carrying a small laptop. He brought it over to the projector and connected it up. He flicked a switch and the projector turned on. A message said: “Axe we need your help immediately. The president is trying to shut us down, I will pay you 300,000 American dollars to somehow get them out of the White House. Maybe you could use your skills with chemicals to brew up something. Do you accept?”
“Oh and that reminds me I have to reply to that,” said Axe.
He closed the window and opened a new folder, words started to appear on the screen as Axe’s small hands moved from key to key, “I do accept, but there’s only one condition. I get to take my owner with me. I can hide in his suitcase. When does my transportation arrive?”
He finished his message and clicked the send button. After a few brief minutes there was a beep. Axe opened up the message. All there was, was six solitary words, “Your transport will arrive on Sunday.”
“Sunday!” I exclaimed, “ that’s tomorrow.”
“Yep, it sure is,” said Axe.1

The next morning I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. I went over to Axe’s cage and looked inside, he was still sleeping, “Wake up,” I said.
He immediately woke up. “Can you go outside and get our transport?” he asked.
“What?” I said.
“It’s a big brown box, you can’t miss it,” he replied.
I went outside and sure enough there was a big, well medium sized, box on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, “Man, this is heavy,” I said to myself.
When I got back into my room Axe was fully awake. “Open it,” he said.
I did as I was told. Inside was a black machine with two spaces for feet. I didn’t bother asking about it. “Get dressed into some formal clothes,” said Axe.
I got out the most formal clothes I could find and put them on. “Now, do you have a suit case?” asked Axe.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Good,” said Axe, “ then go and get it.”
I went over to my bed and crawled under it. I came out with a new suitcase that my Dad had bought me for my up coming assembly. “In you hop,” I said to Axe.
He gathered up his things and got into the case. “Now, put your feet in the feet holes and press the big green button then hold tight.”
I did. And I wished I hadn’t. A hole opened in the floor and we fell though it. We landed with a jolt and then the rocket boosters did their work. We sped along the underground pipes, and then came to a halt. I felt the black machine moving up and then a trapdoor slid open. The light was somewhat surprising. I looked at all my surroundings. There was a large car park and on the other side was a large international airport. I walked over to the airport assuming that, that was where we were going. I looked down at the suitcase. Axe’s head was emerging, “What are you doing?” he whispered.
“Going to the airport,” I replied.
“We don’t need to go to the airport,” said Axe, “turn around and go to the black limo in the car park.”
As I walked over I saw a peculiar van, I decided to check it out. I walked over hastily and looked in. There were two men dressed in dark suits and they both had hats low over their faces. One of them had a laptop on their lap and the other one had a handheld palm. I tried to look at what was on the palm but it was too hard. But the writing on the laptop was clearly visible. “FELIX!” I said.
Felix looked up with a guilty expression. The other man wound down the window. “How many times have I told you not to hack into the stock market?” I yelled.’
“Sorry,” replied Felix, he closed the lid of the laptop and put it in his bag.
“By the way, who is this,” I said and pointed a finger at the man next to him.
He looked up and I found that it was Zee, “Let me have a look at your palm,” I said.
On it was a highly complex picture of and A-bomb. “What is this for?” I asked.
“N.A.S.A. assigned the job to me,” he replied.
“Okay, fair enough,” I said.
I walked on to the black limo. Its windows were as black as the night and nothing on the inside was visible. I opened the door and got in, there was the same driver from before when I was with Felix. Linkin Park was already playing. He must have remembered, I thought. About forty-five minutes later we arrived at long road. The limo stopped abruptly and we got out. Now I noticed that at the end of the road was a large jet. We are going in a private jet, I thought. A few seconds later a small buggy drove up next to us, “Get in,” said a rough looking man in the drivers seat.
I got in and being careful to keep the suitcase upright I put it on the seat next to me. “Darn kids, why do I never get a private jet,” muttered the man in the front.
On the uncomfortable ride to the jet I thought about what luxuries we might find on the jet. As we arrived a man walked down the ladder, “Ah, you must be Handler,” said the man, “I am Gregory, I am going to brief you on your mission when the flight commences.”
“Come, come on inside, I will show you around,” said Gregory.
The jet looked a lot larger on the inside than it did on the outside, there was cream carpet and only about ten seats. In the back corner was a bar with two men in deep conversation behind it. “Have a seat,” said Gregory.
I walked over to a seat next to a window and sat down, Gregory came and sat down next to me, “So where’s Axe?” asked Gregory.
I opened the case and put it on my lap. “Ah I see,” said Gregory.
Axe crawled out and sat on my knee. “So you know that the president is trying to shut us down, right,” said Gregory, “and you know that you have to use something to get them out.”
“Yes,” said Axe.
“What do you plan to use?” asked Gregory.
“A bottle that is 4cm X 4cm X 4cm large full of compressed methane,” said Axe.
“Well that’s certainly going to get them out of there,” said Gregory.
“Yep.”
“Okay then that’s all you need to know,” said Gregory, he pulled out a wad of notes, “here’s $10 000 spending money.”
He walked off towards the bar and joined in the conversation. For the remainder of the trip we ordered several mars bars and snickers and watched ‘Blue Streak’ on the TV. screen that was stuck to the back of the chair in front of us. Several hours later the driver’s voice came over the P.A. system, “The plane will be landing in approximately ten minutes, please fasten your seatbelts.”
I put Axe back into the suitcase and strapped the suitcase to the seat beside me. Then I fastened my own seatbelt. I spent the last ten minutes of the trip eves-dropping on the people behind the bar. They weren’t talking about anything fascinating but at least it was something to do. “The plane is landing,” came the voice over the P.A. system.
There was a sharp jolt followed by the sound of wheels on road. After a while the plane came to a complete stop. The men behind the bar walked over to the door and opened it. I took off the seatbelt that fastened the suitcase and walked over to the door, “Good day,” said one of the men as I walked past him onto the metal stairs. A white limo was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. I got into it and closed the door behind me. Inside was cool. There was a TV and chocolates in a little fridge. Axe and I managed to eat every chocolate in the fridge in the time we got to the hotel (which was only about 3 to 4 minutes).
The limo pulled up at the hotel and a man dressed in white opened the door. Axe and I got out and walked up to the hotel. From the outside it looked marvelous, they even had electronic doors. The inside was even better there was red carpet, a restaurant, a grand staircase, an elevator and a reception. I went over to the reception and said, “Could I please book in, my name is Handler.”
“Yes sure,” said the lady behind the desk.
She typed a few notes on her computer and then handed me a keycard, “You are floor 3 and room number 136.”
I walked over to the elevator and pressed the up button. The elevator came down and I got into it. Then I pressed for floor three, the elevator lurched up and then stopped, “Floor two,” came a voice.
The doors opened and three punk like men walked in, then the elevator started up again. It stopped as quickly as it started, “Floor three,” came the same voice. The three men and I walked out. I walked along the doors looking for number 136. 133, 134, 135 and 136. I inserted the keycard into the slot and the lock clicked open, I opened the door and went inside. To my right was a bathroom with a bath and shower, two basins and a toilet. As I kept walking it opened onto a bedroom with a large queen size bed, a TV, a mini bar and a table with an assortment of fruit.
I walked over to the remote for the TV and turned it on. A menu came up, its options were: Playstation, in house movies, Internet and TV.
I selected Internet and ‘Google Search’ opened up. I grabbed the cordless keyboard that was in front of the TV and sat on the bed. I spent fifteen minutes playing ‘Counter Strike’ and then got bored of it.
“I’m hungry,” came a muffled voice.
“Huh,” I said.
“Well if you let me out I could tell you properly,” came the same voice.
Then I remembered that I hadn’t let Axe out of the suitcase, I walked over to it and unzipped it, “Can we get room service?” asked Axe.
I remembered the $10 000 spending money I still had, “Okay,” I said.
I walked over to the table that was next to the bed and picked up the phone. I dialed the number for room service and almost immediately a man’s voice came on, “Hello, I am Nathan what can I get you?”
“A triple scoop tropical ice-cream,” I said as I looked at the menu, “a bowl of chips and 10 king size mars bars.”
“Okay, it should be there in 2 or 3 minutes,” said Nathan.
“Sorry about the suitcase Axe,” I said, “I totally forgot when I started on the net.”
“It’s okay,” said Axe.
“I’m going to the toilet,” said Axe.
He walked into the bathroom and jumped onto the toilet seat, “Oh man, that’s disgusting,” I said and walked out of the room. DING DONG. I walked over to the door and opened it. There was a lady holding a bag of mars bars, a plate of chips and an ice-cream cone. She handed them to me, “There you go,” she said.
“Thank you very much,” I said back.
She walked off and I closed the door, “Axe the food is here,” I said.
“Really, I just finished,” he replied.
He walked out and jumped onto the bed where I had laid out the food. He picked up a chip and bit into it, “Ah, it’s hot.”
“Duh,” I replied.
“Tomorrow we go to the white house and do our job,” said Axe.
We finished the food and then went to bed. I fell asleep almost immediately.
The next morning I was awoken by Axe, “Come on, we have a job to do.”
“Get the two rubber flying fox handles and the fold up ladder,” said Axe, I worked out that he had a plan to get in.
Axe grabbed his small bottle and put it in my bag, and then we were off. Dressed as tourist, we caught the morning bus to the White House. It was a bumpy ride and not comfortable but at least it got us there. We got out of the bus and walked to the other side of the White House. There were lots of trees to hide us, “Set up the ladder under this power line,” said Axe.
I did as I was told, “Now grab the rubber flying fox handles and attach them to the power line,” ordered Axe.
I started to get the gist of how we were going to get in, but I couldn’t see any opening in the building. Axe grabbed one of the handles and glided effortlessly all the way to the roof of the White House. I gave it a try and did exactly the right thing, my feet hit the roof with hardly any shock, “So how do we get in?” I asked.
“Well first put this on,” said Axe.
He handed me a black combat suit and I put it on. The suit was already loaded with guns. It had an AK-47 strapped to the back, ranges of pistols were in holsters around the belt and several stun grenades were in its pockets (probably made by Axe himself). “So, first you burn it then you sneak in it,” said Axe to himself.
He pulled out a laser burner and turned it on, a red beam flew out of it and into the roof of the White House. It burnt it immediately, and then Axe started to move it around to make a circular hole. When he finished the piece of metal fell down, “There you go, that is how we get in,” said Axe.
“Look a match,” I said and tucked it into my pocket.
We climbed into the hole that Axe had made, we found ourselves in the air conditioning vent. As we crawled along the pipes we went pass many rooms and openings. But finally we got to what we were looking for, the main filter. Axe got out his bottle of methane. CRACK. The pipe that we were in cracked in half and we fell out of it. The bottle of methane came flying out of Axe’s hand and arched in the air, and then it landed on a sofa. An alarm had started to sound, “Quick, we have to get out of here,” I said.
I tried to get up but I couldn’t move, it was as if someone had smeared glue all over me. I hope I haven’t broken my back, I thought. A man walked into the room and looked straight at me, “What the hell is this kid doing in here,” he yelled, “guards.”
Several mean looking men walked into the room and picked me up. The last thing I saw was a big bulky fist and then there was blackness.
I awoke to find Axe asleep next to me. I looked around. We seemed to be in a cell, there was no way out. All there was was a big thick wooden door, a few rocks in the corner and a small window that was not big enough for even Axe to fit through. At least we still had our belongings, Axe’s bag with the highly smelly and flammable methane in it, and our combat suits with the weapons and all. Then it came to me. My match, the methane, the wooden door and the rocks, “I crept over to Axe’s bag and took out his methane, I opened the valve just a tiny bit and let some methane go over the door then I out my match and put it on the ground, then I grabbed two of the rocks and started to strike them against each other above the match. A spark flew off and lit the match. Quickly I grabbed the match and set the door on fire, “Axe, wake up,” I said.
“What,” he said sleepily.
“WAKE UP,” I yelled.
“Okay,” he said and got up, “woohoo, we are out of here.”
We flew through the corridors and came to the control room. I found the air vents and let loose with my can of methane, ‘This place is gonna stink.’
Axe looked at me with a sly grin on his face and then we ran out.
Just as we got back to our hotel we saw, from our window, all the residents of The White House running out blocking their noses.
I smiled.
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