Just Like The Other

 

7:55am

Putting on her lipstick, Jackie took one more look in the mirror before applying the final gloss.  She liked the way her lips looked, all shiny and soft.  It highlighted her best feature or so she thought.  Smiling at herself, Jackie shook her shoulder length brown hair and tousled it with her fingers.  Yes, she said to herself, much better, very nice.  The mirror on her dresser only showed her from her shoulders up but that suited Jackie fine.

 

Looking over the top of the mirror, Jackie could just make out Mr & Mrs Carmine through her white net curtains, going for their morning walk.  Such a lovely old couple, Jackie thought.  Jackie had bumped into them the couple of times when she felt motivated to take a walk, which wasn't very often.  Great, it must be 8am and time to get to work.  Picking up the photo on her dresser, she kisses it lightly before putting it back down.  "Oh Steve, you're looking good.  Have a good day now."

 

Walking to her wardrobe, she finds her shoes and slips them on.  Picking her bag up from her bed, Jackie sees her cell phone underneath it along with the car keys.  Scooping them both up she heads towards her bedroom door.

 

Turning back, she takes one more look around her room, Jackie smiles.  Rimu.  Her bedroom furniture was made from Recycled Rimu.  Bedside tables, King-sized headboard, nine drawer dresser with mirror, lingerie drawer and tallboy.  She had them specially made to fit into her bedroom.  A treat for herself she told the manager at Dubain's who couldn't wait to accept her customised order and credit card.

 

The King Size bed was glorious too.  The mattress was firm with an inbuilt wool top that kept you warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  Covering the bed was a Zardozi style hand embroidered silk dupioni bedspread with metallic threads and beads.  The colour was a deep blue with matching pillow shams.  Pure luxury.  Then there were the cushions! Lots of cushions sprawled all over her bed.  She wanted her bedroom to resemble a harem and hung a large white ceiling to floor netting which surrounded the bed, giving it the finishing touch she wanted.  Satisfied Jackie walks out of her room, down the passage and out the front door, locking it before turning to walk down the front steps.

 

Seeing her car parked in the driveway made Jackie smile again.  She liked her car.  It was sleek, sporty and in her favourite colour, yellow!  She felt like a lemon drop sitting in her car, but hey weren't lemon drops good for you?  Humming to herself, Jackie slips on her seatbelt, adjusts her rear vision mirror, puts her key in the ignition, switches it on and puts the car in first gear before driving forward.  She's about to turn out of her driveway when her cell phone rings.

 

"Good morning baby."  A deep male voice comes through the phone.

"Steve!  I was just thinking about you.  You know I kissed your picture this morning?"

"You did?  Mnnn I like knowing that.  I thought I'd call you before you went to work.  You know I missed you last night.  I was reminded of your absence when I woke this morning.  Know what I mean?"

 

A small giggle echoes in the car.

 

"You're so naughty.  You know it makes me blush to hear you talk to me like that Steve.  Got a busy day ahead?"

 

A sigh comes through the other end.

 

"Yep, I sure have.  Damn I hate this job at times.  I'm going through to Gunalda this morning to get this house finished.  I'll put the roof on and the workmen can start laying the floors inside."

"Ahuh"

"Then it's off to Hervey Bay next week to build some motel units.  Much easier than the house we're doing at the moment.  But anyway I didn't call to talk about that.  I called to tell you that I love you and I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world."

 

Sigh

 

"God you're so good to me Steve and you say such beautiful things.  I love you too.  I miss you as well and damn I can't wait until we're together."

"Me too baby.  I better get into the shower before I get carried away by your voice.  You know how sexy you sound in the morning don't you?"

 

Another giggle echoes in the car.

 

"Shall I call you tonight sweetie?  I miss our long talks.  A bit of your time might make us both happy."

 

A chuckle is heard on the other end of the phone.

 

"Sounds good to me.  We'll talk tonight.  Have a good day babe." "Bye Steve.  I adore you."

 

Click.  Sigh.

 

A smile plays around Jackie's lips as she thinks of Steve.  Tonight, she thought, tonight I get to talk to my sweetheart.  In person would be better, but this will have to do for now.  Putting her foot on the accelerator, Jackie turns the car on to the street and drives to work.  Switching on the radio, she hears Shania Twain singing ‘Man, I feel like a woman!'  In her soft contralto, she blends a harmony with the song.

 

 

5:30pm

Dragging herself home, Jackie felt as if she'd been put through the wringer.  So many clients wanted help today.  Many didn't have appointments, so she had to ‘fit them in'.  God she hated that.  Listening to their sad sob stories really stretched her.  She wanted to believe these people but sometimes she wondered if they were just putting on an act.

 

"What have you spent your money on this week?"

 

Jackie looks at the client opposite her.  Karina was her name. "Well I had to pay my rent, my phone, get some power and I only had a little bit left to buy some bread and milk."

 

Karina fiddles with the paper in front of her.  She starts to move around in her seat causing her two young children sitting beside her to cling to her clothes.  Jackie notices this and wonders if Karina is telling the truth.

 

"If I add up what you've paid based on your receipts that comes to $265.  You received $421.16 this week.  What happened to the other $156?"

 

Jackie watches as Karina leans forward and puts her hand out.  She notices that Karina's hands are shaking.

 

"I don't know.  I went to the bank, withdrew what was in there, paid my bills and only had 10 cents left!"

 

Tears start to form in the back of Karina's eyes.  Jackie looks away and turns back to the computer screen.

 

"Well we can't help you Karina.  You can't account for the $156 which means that you had sufficient money to buy food for your family this week."

"But I don't have any money left!"

 

Karina drops her head as her shoulders begin to shake.  Tears fall on to her hands as they grip the edge of the desk in front of her.

 

"Lady, I don't have any food for my kids this week.  They're gonna starve.  How am I going to send them to school with no lunch?  It's bad enough that I can't feed them at home, but school too?  Please, please let me have something.  Please!"

 

Karina lifts her hands to her face and starts to cry a bit harder.

 

"You just don't understand.  It's not my fault I don't have any money.  It's not my fault!"

 

Handing Karina a tissue, Jackie sits back in her chair and looks around.  None of Jackie's workmates can see the drama going on at her desk.  No doubt they're listening to similar stories.  What should I do? Jackie asked herself.  Leaning forward, Jackie looks at Karina once more.  Watching women cry was not pleasant.  Seeing children watching their mothers cry was worse.  The fear in those little kids' eyes was evident.

 

"What isn't your fault Karina?  Is there something you need to tell me?"

 

Looking up, Karina wipes her eyes and takes shallow breaths.

 

"It's the kids' father.  He comes over every week and demands I give him money.  If I don't .... he beats me.  This morning I said no, so he punched me in the guts and threw me against the wall a few times.  I had no choice.  He found my wallet, took my money, and punched me in the chest once more before leaving."

 

Lifting up her top, Jackie saw the bruising around Karina's abdomen and knew this woman wasn't lying.  Shit she thought.  Shit, shit, shit.  No use talking to her about going to the police because she wouldn't.  None of them did.  Fear.  They were afraid and many of them still loved their ex partners.  Sighing, Jackie knew that she had to help her which meant writing up a report to attach to the application in front of her.  It wouldn't take long but she couldn't send Karina off empty handed.  Not now.

 

"Ok, Karina.  I don't pretend to understand what you've been through but you're right, your kids do need to have food this week.  But Karina, I have to say this to you.  We can't do this every time your ex decides to take your money.  You've got to do something about this situation.  If not for your safety, then your kids' wellbeing.  You know?"

 

Looking at her hands Karina nods.

 

"Yeah I know Miss, but it's hard you know?  I've got these five kids, three at school and these two here still at home.  I don't have time to think about anything but them.  Know what I mean?"

 

Nodding her head yes, Jackie realises that she doesn't know what she means.  She doesn't have kids.  But those two kids, so quiet, sitting next to their mum with their thumbs in their mouths was enough for her to feel some compassion.

 

"Alright.  Will $200 help you with food this week?  I'll give you a bit extra to get you through and then some."

 

Karina nods and smiles for the first time.

 

"How does shopping at Pak n Save sound?"

"Oh yeah that's good."

"Well, I'll get this signed off and you can be out of here in ten minutes ok?"

"Thanks Jackie.  I really mean that.  You've saved my life this week.  More than you know."

 

Looking away quickly, a lump comes into Jackie's throat.

 

"It's ok.  I'll be back soon."

 

Ten minutes later, Jackie waves to Karina's children as they walk out the door, both holding their mothers hand.  She's about to put Karina's file away when she notices a woman walking up to Karina as she crosses to the other side of the street.  Jackie watches as Karina waves the approval form that she got for food in front of the woman's face and they both start to laugh.  Jackie couldn't believe her eyes.  Why the little minx, she thought.  Was it all just a game?  The bruises were real and ....?  Rubbing her forehead, Jackie stands up and throws the file on her desk.  Pushing her chair out of the way with her foot, she heads toward the tea room.

 

 

Running the bath, Jackie sprinkles some salt crystals into it.  Her body really needed some stress relief.  I know I should go for a walk, or maybe a swim at the gym, but I just don't feel like it, Jackie thought.  The incident with Karina really affected her.  Deep down inside.  Images of Karina flickered through her mind.  How can she trust people to tell her the truth?  Were those real bruises?  Of course they were.  Anyone can see they were real.  But why the laughing and joking about getting help with food when before that she was crying her eyes out.  Were those real tears?  Oh shit, I'm not thinking about that anymore.  It's just too much.  Running the cold water, Jackie removes her clothes, feels the bath with her fingertips, and then turns off the cold tap.  Slipping into the hot water, Jackie grabs the remote on the shelf behind her head and points it at the stereo sitting on the wide windowsill.  The sound of tropical rainforest fills the air.  Jackie leans back against the bath, closes her eyes, focuses on the music and mentally relaxes each muscle one by one while taking deep breaths.

 

A few minutes later the phone rings.  Without opening her eyes, Jackie reaches behind her and with a wet hand grabs the cordless phone easily.  Pushing the talk button, Jackie answers it.

 

"Hello?"

"Hey baby.  What you doing?"

"Steve!  Oh Steve."

 

Tears start coming out of Jackie's eyes.

 

"Baby, you ok?"

"Oh no, I've had a crap of a day."

"What happened?"

 

Jackie sniffs and wipes her eyes with her free hand.

 

"Just a client today that's all.  She needed money to feed her kids.  Told me her ex beat her up and took her money.  She even showed me the bruises."

 

Breath expels on the other end of the phone.

 

"Oh hon."

"Yeah she was crying and everything.  But that's not what upset me.  I helped her and gave her money for food.  I had to help her you know?  Well she walks out the door, goes up to her friend then waves the approval form in front of her friend's face.  They both burst out laughing!  I didn't hear the conversation but it was obvious she thought her performance for me was hilarious!"

 

Jackie starts to cry again.

 

"I don't know what to say.  Are you sure they were talking about her interview with you?  They might have been talking about something else?" "I don't know to be honest but seeing her flaunt that paper was like a kick in the guts.  I believed her story and wanted to help!"

"I know.  You're a kind woman.  She played on your compassion and got away with it."

"Yeah but how do you know when someone is telling the truth?  I hate liars you know that.  It kills me to think that she gave me some bullshit line."

"Hey I know babe.  But look I'm here now and I've got some news that might cheer you up."

 

Wiping her eyes, Jackie attunes herself to Steve's voice.  She can hear his excitement.  It takes her mind off Karina for a moment.

 

"Really?  Should I be dressed for this?"

"You're naked?"

 

Sudden breath intake on the other end.

A laugh echoes in the bathroom.

 

"Sort of.  I'm in the bath surrounded by bubbles and soft tropical rainforest music."

"Oh is that what the noise is.  I thought it was raining there in Taupo."

 

Another laugh echoes in the bathroom.

 

"No sweetie.  That's my rainforest soundtrack.  Thought it would help me relax.  So what's this news?"

"Mnnn all I'm thinking about is you in the bath.  That's a better topic to discuss."

 

Jackie starts to smile.  Steve is such a nice man.  His voice so loving and caring.

 

"You're naughty.  Why don't you tell me your news first and then if you're good, I'll let you discuss what you're thinking about."

 

A deep chuckle comes from the phone.

 

"Employing your negotiating skills hmnn?  Alright then."

"Well?"

"Baby, I'm coming to see you."

 

Sitting upright, Jackie almost drops the phone into the bath.

 

"What did you say?"

"I've booked a ticket to New Zealand.  I'll be there next weekend.  I'm coming to see you.  Isn't that great?"

 

Jackie feels her heart slamming against her chest.

 

"I finally get to see you, put my arms around you, hold you tight and feel your beautiful body next to mine.  God I'm excited!  I should have done this three months ago you know, when I first met you on the internet.  I don't know why I've waited this long but damn it Jackie I want you in my life.  For real and not just conversations over the phone.  Your voice is incredible and your picture is beautiful, but it's not your looks that I fell in love with.  It's your heart.  You have a beautiful heart."

 

Jackie starts to shake.  Steve's voice fades into the background as her thoughts race in time with her heart beat.

 

"Babe you there?"

"Yes I'm here.  Sorry, I just about dropped the phone."

"Aren't you excited?  This morning you said that you couldn't wait for us to be together so I'm making it happen!"

 

Steve's deep voice so soft and loving.  A lump stuck in Jackie's throat making it hard for her to talk.

 

"That sounds great Steve.  It really does."

"You ok?  You don't sound happy."

"Hey I am.  I'm sorry, I guess what happened today is still making me feel sad."

"It's ok babe.  I understand.  Look I'm going out to pick up my dinner.  I ordered it on the way home.  Why don't I call you back in half an hour?  Hopefully you'll still be in the bath.  We can then discuss what I'm thinking right now."

 

His voice is so playful.  Jackie cleared her throat.

 

"Ok sweetie.  We'll talk soon."

"Bye baby.  Half an hour, don't forget."

 

Click.

 

Jackie leans back against the bath as the phone drops out of her hand and on to the floor.  The music continues to play for another twenty minutes before fading out and the quiet brings Jackie back to awareness.  She realises the bath water has become cold, so she stands up, grabs her towel and steps out on to the bath mat.  Walking through her house holding her towel in front of her, Jackie does not notice her feet have left deep wet impressions on her new carpet.   Entering her bedroom, Jackie sits on the end of her bed.  The bottom of her hair is dripping wet while the water from the bath is still running down her body.  A puddle forms on the bedroom floor by her feet and her silk bedspread soaks up the water from her body.

 

Looking up Jackie sees her wardrobe door is open and the full length mirror reflects her image.  Oh God she thinks.  Oh no.  Her overweight body is exposed to her eyes.  I can't let him see me like this.  I can't!  The picture I sent him is five years old.  I was nice and slim back then but today ......  Oh God, I have to tell him something, something to keep him away a bit longer!  Long enough to lose this weight so I can be beautiful for him.

 

Sitting on the bed, Jackie is unable to move as her mind continues to race.

 

What am I going to do?  What the hell am I doing?  If he turns up next week, he'll know I lied to him about what I look like and he won't ever forgive me.

 

Crying into the towel, Jackie thinks about Karina.  It was all just an act.  Karina put on a stinking stupid act to get what she wanted.  She can see that now.  Throwing the towel aside, Jackie begins to laugh.  She should have known.  She should have known.

 

In the background, the phone rings again.

 

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