The Meaning of Death

Isaac’s breathe caught in his throat as the shimmering mist touched his skin. With its touch an electric tingle ran across his skin, and he knew this was what it meant to live. Nothing else mattered now; not the golden sunset that tinged the mist with a rainbow of golds, pinks, and purples; not the others, sprawled in the grass along the edge of the rippling pool; and certainly not the troubles that had befallen the clan throughout the day. The only thing that mattered was the sensation created by the water. His heart wasn’t beating right anymore, it was racing and stopping, only to race again, but this didn’t matter. Nothing did, nothing but the one who was in the water, the one who had created him.

Isaac opened his eyes without realizing that he had shut them, and found that he was laying with his face in the damp grass, breathing heavily. The mist still floated over him is waves, dulling his sense to everything but the bolts of ecstasy that crashed over him. Isaac opened his mouth to scream with pleasure at each new spasm, but was silenced by the sudden touch of the tiny droplets of water landed on his tongue. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t live. This was too much…and then, for a moment, the mist seceded and Isaac was able to breathe again. But at the moment the waves of electricity stopped he felt empty. 1

Screw breathing.2

Before he was able to comprehend what he was doing, Isaac was running, stumbling, clawing his way over the mounds in the grass and over rocks. Then he was in the air, then the water. This was beyond what he had expected. His heart had stopped. For good. The mist was nothing compared to this; every atom of his body screamed in pain. His back arched, and then loosened, only to have it snap back again as the muscles spasmed as the electric force of the water slid smoothly around his skin and through his hair. He still couldn’t breathe, and his lungs were screaming for air. This is what it meant to live. To die. 3

He knew it was over, the light refracted by the shimmering water surface disoriented him, and Isaac couldn’t tell which way was up and which was down. Not that that fact mattered; with the state he was in he would never have been able to swim. The water still sent jagged bolts of electricity through every part of his being, causing his muscles to contract and release without any thought or command from himself. Colors danced around Isaac as he sank deeper into the pool, quivering as the water continued to flow around his body.4

I’m dieing.5

It’s worth it.6

But I’m dieing!7

Like the great waterfall so far above, or maybe not so far above, Isaac had no sense of how deep he had dove, his thoughts drove in on his mind with relentless strength. He knew he would die if he didn’t escape soon, but that didn’t matter. Or did it? Of course it did! This was his life he was talking about, not some small everyday decision! But then again, the charges that racked his body made him feel like nothing else. Maybe it was worth dieing. That was the decision then, I will stay here in this pool and see what happens. And with that, Isaac frantically attempted to pull himself to the surface.8

Then it was too late. He could hold his breath longer than anyone else in the tribe, but this had been too long. Minutes maybe. And with that though, Isaac’s mouth opened in a pathetic attempt to breathe. His lungs gasped, and the water flooded him. He was dieing. He was coming to life. He was dead.9

An inhuman scream crashed through the water and split Isaac’s ears. This wasn’t death. This was worse. The skin on his back was on fire, and the feeling spread across his body. Something, someone, was slowly and methodically peeling the skin from his arms and legs. As every cell of his body wrenched with the torture of this new existence, Isaac screamed. His mouth wide, he screamed, and the scream melded with whatever it was that had originally screamed and caused him this pain. And then he tasted it. Blood. He was drinking it in, and screaming through it. Where the water had once been, blood now flowed in its slow sickening path. And still the screaming continued. A mother losing her only son, a lover forced to give up his love for death’s wretched grasp, this was the scream. He was screaming, and Isaac had joined Him. Isaac screamed with pain, with regret, with hate for who he was, what he had done. 10

How long the screaming lasted, Isaac couldn’t tell. But after what seemed an eternity, it quieted to sobs that caused Isaac’s heart to ache with a heaviness he had never known. And then the sobbing quieted. And there was nothing. No screaming, no weeping, no blood, just darkness. He was dead, for real this time. He was dead. Pain still wracked his body, but his senses where dulled with the ache from the last hours. Or maybe it was minutes? Who knew. What did it matter, he was dead.11

But he wasn’t dead! He could breathe! The water flowed in and out of his throat and nostrils, still giving him the wild electric feeling that the mist had. His heart was beating again, this time faster than he would have thought possible. He screamed in joy as his eyes where opened to what it meant to really live. He had died. He had been born. He was alive!12

And then the laughter began, real laughter, the kind that everyone has to laugh with. And laugh Isaac did. He had died, but he was alive! He swam up, laughing and drinking in this water that had changed him. As he reached the surface and his head broke through the water he saw the full moon, hanging above the trees surrounded by it’s armies of glimmering stars. Isaac yelled at the top of his lungs to the moon, proclaiming his wonder to all who could hear.13

Dieing. Ha.14

His feet touched the sandy bottom of the pool, and he pulled himself from the water and sprawled on the wet sand, still laughing to himself. The stars rotated slowly above his head, and the night animals called in their dark mysterious voices. He had died! This meant something. It meant more than something, it meant everything! The dull aching of every muscle in his body eased, and his ears listened to the whispering of the leaves and the soft roar of the waterfall, and Isaac closed his eyes to sleep. 15

He had died.16

He was alive.17

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