It lead to my first love {part 3}

I started crieing. i brok down in jessicas living room adn she was know were to be scence. i saw the cop and he talked to everyuone and i just sat there. well he called me into the back of the house were the office is adn he asked me so many qeustions and i had to tell everything me and chris had ever done and about the time he forced me to let him go down on me...bye the way he was drunk when that happened.....but ya pretty much i admitted. well the stupid ass cop told my mother everything i said. i walked out into the living room and jessica was sitten on the couch and me and her just sat there holding each other crieing. well i had to go school so i got into the car and my mom was yelling at me and she told me to talk to her about and i cant i just cant tell my mom o my chris did this to me and me and chris did this and shit. she told me that my life is school and softball for now on nothing else. she took life away from me. i have to say i crieed myself to sleep for a week or two because i wasnt aloud to talk to chris or my besstfriend jessica. well a month and 2 weeks past and my grades went back up and what people would say i started smiling again. i remember getting onto myspace and chris wrote me and i ened up writeing back and the detective called my mother and told her i was on there yep people cops can get into anything and everything on myspace. well after 2 months i finally got to talk to jessica. just last weekend i saw her for the first time in 2 months it was kool. all we did was talk abuot the boys. just sunday i got jackies number one onf chri's brothers ex gf's. she still talks to them and she told me how chris finally got a car and how he moved out and works at TIC. right then it hit me all the sudden he started making something of his life after i talked trash to his face about how much of a low life he was. he went to liveing at home with mom playing video games to wow moved out and has a good job. and it suxs because i made that right there and dont even get to enjoy it. well ill be getten his number and i get to call him the cops will never know though. sorry but you cant keep two people that love each other away from each other. and i blame all this on me i dont and he was my first love and im still not done loveing him. there were so many things left un said that are killing me i just cant dill with it. when i turn 17 which is in january im going to really get contact of him they wont do nothing because im close to 18 and the case will be closed i just cant waite tell then. and if he moved on then it wasnt ment to be but if he didnt then it was and thats how i see. i know this was a long story but i needed to tell it and get out of me thank you1