Night Vulnerable

Morgan checked her cell phone again “why hasn’t he called” she muttered to herself as she leaned in close to the mirror for one last inspection. She fiddled with the straps of her silky white dress and then she leaned closer. She grimaced as she applied another coat of coral red lipstick to her puckered lips. Suddenly, she spun away and flipped her golden blonde hair in irritation. The clock read 7:46 PM, Adam was supposed to pick her up at 6:00! Just then, she heard a knock at the door, Morgan put on her best “drama queen” face as she marched over and flung open the door in a rage. Standing in the door, stood a clean cut, young man with shaggy brown hair and mournful brown eyes. He gave her his best “puppy dog” look as he handed her a bouquet of sweet-smelling red roses. Morgan gave him a tremor of a smile as she took the fragrant blossoms in her arms, but she was still upset by his behavior. “Adam” she sighed, “this really doesn’t explain why you’re so late....”1

Adam gave her his best grin and replied “Morgan, I’m really sorry… I was delayed at work, and I lost track of time. I know I have no excuse though, I should have kept my promise… especially since today is such a special day.” Morgan couldn’t help but forgive him with such a pleading look in his gentle brown eyes. 2

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re forgiven, this time. Just don’t make a habit of it, okay?” Adam took her hand and they walked out the door. As they started toward the car, a scrawny looking black cat darted across their path! It turned without warning and hissed with gleaming yellow eyes before darting into the bushes. “Oh no” she cried, pretending to be afraid, “it looks like we’re going to have bad luck tonight.” Adam didn’t seem to take her remark the way she expected, he turned and looked at her with an almost regretful frown. Morgan looked at him again, and thought he must be tired from work. “Adam, is everything alright? I know you must be worn out with work, classes, and football practice. Plus, you just won that first place medal and trophy for the new world open last month! I’m just concerned I guess, you seem a little out of it today.”3

Adam closed his eyes and smiled, “Morgan you worry too much, I’m fine. Now let’s go to that party! I’m sure it’ll be in full swing by now! Morgan rolled her eyes and followed him in a huff. As they were driving to the party, the car began to shake violently. The engine coughed and sputtered for a minute or two and then it died. The car rolled to a grinding halt as they both whipped forward and back. Adam and Morgan exchanged worried glances, and Adam opened the door and walked around to the front of the car. Thick, black smoke was billowing from the engine, and when Adam lifted the hood he was blinded, and he had to turn away. “This is just great” he moaned, “and here we are stuck in the middle of nowhere. We passed the last town half an hour ago. He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry Morgan, I ruined your special night for you.” 4

Morgan gazed at him with affection and replied “don’t worry Adam, as long as I’m with you, then the day is special.” She smiled brightly and got out of the car to give Adam a hug.5

Adam looked into her bright, trusting blue eyes and hesitated for a moment, then he grinned and went down on one knee. “I know this isn’t the most romantic spot in the world… but you make it beautiful. Morgan, will you marry me?” Morgan started in shock as she stared at him in disbelief. He continued without giving her time to answer. “I want to take you to Paris, you’ve always wanted to go there… I love you Morgan, will you say yes?” He waited expectantly. 6

Morgan felt dizzy, how could she explain to Adam that she did not want to marry him at all. She cringed inwardly at the though of what she was about to tell him. She took a deep breath and then shakily began to speak “Adam… I can’t marry you. I didn’t think our relationship had gotten this serious yet. I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment.” A tear slid down her pale cheek as she continued “Adam, forgive me for this, but I… I can‘t, not now, not ever.” Morgan wanted nothing more than to get away, but there was no where to go. They both stood in awkward silence staring at each other.7

“Why did you lead me on like that” Adam finally demanded in harsh and broken tones, “you could have said something…” He started to back away from her as something like madness glinted in his eyes. Morgan stared at this wild and fierce looking young man, this was a side of Adam she’d never seen before. Adam bit his lip so hard that blood ran in a trickle from the corner from his mouth. He choked on the bitter, salty taste as the bile rose up in his throat. His face had lost all it’s color, and his eyes burned with a feverish light. He staggered like a drunken man, and his thoughts spun wildly.8

“Adam, stop it! You’re scaring me” Morgan stared as she stood stock still. She gazed into his stricken eyes, when suddenly a low rumble was heard. She sagged in relief as she saw a blue pickup truck slowing down. A kind looking old man got out and asked them if he could help. Morgan shivered as she gave him directions to her house. Adam said nothing as the rode in utter silence. The elderly man dropped her off at her apartment. Morgan trembled like a frightened little girl, her hand shook as she tried to fit the key in the lock. Finally, when she wrenched the door open, she staggered inside and slammed the door behind her. She slid slowly down the smooth wooden door until she hit the soft carpet. As she stared with sightless eyes into space, her head sank toward her chest and she feel into a troubled sleep.9

When Morgan awoke, she heard birds twittering and she felt the warm glow of sunlight on her lustrous curls. Without a thought, she stood up, careless of her appearance, and rushed out the door. She ran toward with feet flying toward the beach a few yards from her apartment complex. As the first rays of dawn reached over the horizon, Morgan sank into the cool water. The breeze blew her hair and her white dress as she basked in the new morning. After what seemed like hours, Morgan arose, and walked, as if in a trance, to a large outcropping of rock. She climbed higher and higher until she reached a large rock that jutted out into the ocean. She folded her hands as if in prayer and gazed intently at the smooth water.“It’s not meant to be like this… it’s not what I planned at all. I don’t want to feel like this!” Morgan moaned and hugged herself, as she tried to bring some warmth into her freezing limbs.10

Hours later, she stumbled back to her apartment. When she flung open the door she found Adam standing, still as a statue, with his gaze focused upon her. “Clean yourself up,” he growled I’ll be here tonight at 7:00.” 11

“No you can‘t…“ Morgan trailed off, for he was already gone. She shook her head as she went upstairs to shower. As the cold water stung her face she realized that she had nothing left, her tears mingled with the sharp spray. The hours flew by and Morgan selected a soft, green satin dress to wear. She dried her hair and brushed it until it shone, glossy and sleek. Adam came at seven, he looked disheveled and tired. “Morgan, I’ve come to tell you something..” he paused and set his eyes upon the clouds barely covering the full moon. Then, he went over to sack he’d brought with him. Adam pulled out a bottle of wine and he set it on the counter. He pulled out his pocketknife and snapped open the corkscrew. As he worked on the cork he asked, “Morgan, do you see nothing between us.”12

She didn’t answer for a while, and then she turned toward him and replied “there was never anything more than friendship between us.” She spun back to her original position and said. Adam, I think you should leave… now! 13

Adam got angry and muttered “Morgan, what is wrong with you?” He sighed in annoyance. “Morgan, are you even listening to m..." Adam’s eyes bulged as he looked at Morgan in confusion. She had his pocket knife clutched tightly in her hand, and she bared her teeth like an animal.14

“I told you not to come” she laughed, “you never listen Adam” She held the knife to her throat. “Now you’ll pay…” She plunged the knife into her throat and ripped a huge gash in her ivory neck.”15

“Nooooooo… STOP!” Adam screamed at her. Then, he fell backwards. Morgan’s hands had curved into claws, she raked and slashed the gash in her neck, blood cascaded down her chest and arms, saturating the green dress, into a pool at her feet. A twisted muzzle with teeth bared split her forehead and her claws tore at her soft skin. A mutilated head appeared beneath the gore, and gray fur matted with blood emerged from underneath it. Adam fell against the wall in revulsion as Morgan continued her transformation.16

Swiftly, she turned to him with baleful blue eyes, “See what I am.” She snarled in a voice not her own. “I am a monster… do you love me now?” She mocked, “DO YOU LOVE ME ADAM?” She moved closer and Adam gaped into those menacing blue eyes, so cold and devoid of emotion. He trembled and saw their luminescent sheen as his own eyes glazed over and rolled back in his head. He convulsed and then was lost to the world, and Morgan bared her teeth, “Goodbye Adam I‘m so sorry…” Then, wildly, she flung herself into the dark night vowing never to live, and never to love again.

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Comments

  • Miss Splenda
    April 23, 2006
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    interesting story

    I found this story very interesting, and a GOOD read. You write quite well.

    The ending was rather random, from the way I see it, and seemed a little bit like a cliche- the werewolf thing I've seen before. (Keep in mind that I enjoyed this story!)

    You had a few grammatical errors- but I pretty much overlooked those. However, I suggest you fix them up so the story flows better.

    I really liked the beginning. I enjoyed how you used "Why hasn't he called yet?" bit, it was intriguing, and provided many different scenarios that could branch off from that. Nice description there, too.

    My favourite character would have to be Adam, most likely because of the description you gave of him--- his eyes, etc. You have quite a knack for that.

    The plot was good, but predictable- when you started describing the knife I was thinking, "Oh, here comes the werewolf," and she rejected his proposal, I was pretty sure she was going to sink into a deep depression sort of thing.

    There was a bit of confusion for me when you started describing the knife- Adam was talking, then all of a sudden it was Morgan.

    Overall, I think you did quite well and that you should keep writing for a very, very long time.

    -Splenda

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, overall: 6, ending: 2, dialog: 2, characters: 3.


  • Deeha
    April 21, 2006
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    I liked this story. There isn't much wrong with it other then a little grammar control. I loved the imagery you were great at describing each scene to the reader. I love the surprise ending, but I saw it coming.

    beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 5, overall: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 5.