Dear diary1
Today i suppose has been better than others. But after whats happened i can't decide weather i liked it more when she just left me and sister. I mean yes i enjoyed the beginning of the day. Her saying "today darling it's going to be you and me" Of coarse i felt bad leaving sister on her own and sister probably thought ~you trator~. But after i told her how it went disastrously wrong she probably took pity. Well as you know mum wanted to spend the day with me, which i took as a pleasant shock. And i did ask if sister could join too. Mum just waved her hand and ignored the comment making sure it didn't get in the way of our day. First of all the day started out as all my friends described their mums to be. Helping choose what outfit to wear and then laughing charm fully as mum put makeup on me and did my hair. Then she asked me, yes actually asked ME what i would like to do. I hesitated at first thinking about the answer she would like to hear. Mum looked at me like she had read my mind and said "don't worry it's up to you." And it sounds maybe brattish or selfish but i decided upon going to the ice-cream parlor down the road and then walking it off on a nice walk around the local park. Mum smiled happily and we set off. The day was going so well that i thought it wouldn't hurt to order something on the expensive side mum just frowned playfully and ordered the same. While we waited for it to arrive we talked about everything which school i was going to go to, how my friends were and even my sisters to a point ! I was so content that when we had ate our ice-cream and were walking through the park. That i even asked about dad and my grand-parents ! When my mum went silent i hated myself for even saying anything and got worried that she was going to get mad. But she let out a soft sigh and said gently "ask me what you want to know." So i took advantage and asked about what they looked like and what they were like. From my mums point of view i was probably still a little girl and i yes i suppose i was. But at the age of 4 i'd seen and been through alot and was ready to know the truth. And what my mum had been like and looked like she'd suffered what she was telling me just didn't match up. But i knew i couldn't push my luck to far so i just listened. Listened to the happy stories and silly but fun things she'd done with her sisters at my age. And even though i knew it wasn't true i liked to believe every word. After our stroll we went home as it was getting dark. We didn't have the perfect house if you could call it that. And didn't exactly live in the good and respectable parts of Germany. But i didn't care ! After my day i felt on top of the world and hoped it could stay like this for ever. We went up the dirty stair-cases and past families which were screaming at each other. We could be that family i suppose it just depended on how my mum was feeling. When we reached our door i heard nothing. Silence. Then the guilt kicked in about sister i'd left her alone in that one room all day. I took a deep breath in, flashed a smile at my mum and opened the door. I was ecstatic to see Anna sitting on the bed with sister. I ran up to her and squeezed her to hard. Feeling her skinny skeleton and looking up at her pale face. It was like a family reunion; well not quite half of the family was still spread across the world but my mum and her three daughters were all in her flat, together ! I looked down and saw sister lying on the bed sleeping peacefully. Then i looked up and saw my eyes looking coldly at mum and mum looking uncaringly back. Mum ordered me into the bathroom i obeyed and she followed not mentioning a word to Anna. Then her every things ok smile appeared once again and she spoke sweetly "do you want a bath ?" i replied quietly "sure." I un-dressed inaudibly while mum got the tub and filled it with water. I decided not to show fear or annoyance and began speaking again. But obviously with the wrong line ... "so are you happy to see Anna" Mum replied in a sharp tone "get in the bath" and ignored what i had just said. I did as i was told and got in but felt like jumping back out the water was so cold ! But i stayed put and took it. Mum started the conversation off this time. "So have you enjoyed today ?" i replied happily "yes, and i'm so glad i found out about our relatives and all those amazing stories" "yes yes i'm not sure why i said them though" "why thought mum they were excellent can i hear more ?" "one more, then thats it !" she started off by telling me one about my being born but i butted in. I don't know why i did but i just felt like speaking my mind she was lying to me ! "where was Anna and dad ?" "Yasmin if you don't shut you mouth soon i'm going to kill you ! I regret ever having birth to you ! I should of killed you when you were small ! Well let me tell you your the last ! No more bratty stupid arrogant children are coming into this world from me ! You selfish idiot !" she then got up and walked madly out of the room and left me there in the cold water. I began to cry, well i tried to but decided to hold it back other wise i knew mum would try to kill me so what you could hear of my cries came out as coughs and splutters. Anna then came up to me and finished of the bath. She told me to ignore mum and that i could ask her questions. Yes i know all her replies were lies but they really soothed me and put me at peace. Then Anna dried me off and tucked me in bed with sister. The ceiling i stared up at as i tried to get to sleep in my horrible life stared back down at me looking at me in disgust and sympathy. Yes i know i'm using personification but i feel so down so empty. I really thought my mum loved me. I'm wrong though she still thinks i'm a little kid that doesn't have any objective in the world but to be a brat. It isn't watch when i get older i'll show her that i mean more to the world. 2
3
Author notes
This isn't about me. Cos theres more to come. It is about some ones life though. I don't know there life to the full exstent so i can't exactely get everything right but from what i know i wrote.
If you like it i'll carry on
Comments
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Wow, i cant wait to read the rest this sounds really good, it is a great concept and i li ke the way that you have worded it it is absolutely fabulous, thankyou so much for sharing this really made my day, thanks again, yours, becca
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, overall: 7, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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