When i was younger i lived with my mom my dad and my four sisters it was fun then for me but my dad would come home drunk and hit my mom and hit my sisters for no reason there one night i remember very well my dad wanted to go to the bar but my mom told him he couldent take are car so he got pissed of and went nuts he threw thing he broke things he yelled and screamed at my mom and sisters but the funny thing was he never yelled or screamed at me it was probably because i was his onily real child my sisters hade diffrent dads getting back to my storie will my dad was yelling and screaming my mom called my dads mom who lives up the rode and told her what was goin on she came up there broke down are screan door and punched my dad i no it sounds hard to beleeve but my grandmal is a stroung women
back to my storie after grandmal hit him he stormed out the house my grandmal made sure every one was all right and went back home well that night when my dad got home that night at like one in the morning and passed out well that morning when i woke up there were cops and paramedics all over the back of the house were my parents room was i just though that my dad got in to another fight at the bar so i went to the kichen to get breakfast and my grandmals and my sisters were in there crying i asked what happened and it turned out my dad didnt get into a bar fight but last night im guessing before he passed out he unpluged my moms pump she has one be cas shes a really bad diabetic well after my mom got out of the hospital she packed up all are stuff and she went to live with my other grandmal who lives in prince george im guessing she wanted to get as far away from him as possible
well it didnt stop there after a while we finely got are own house and in a few weeks it was going to be my bday well on my bday my dad came down to see me well my mom went out there to talk to him when she was out there i noticed she ran back inside after a few minutes the cops showed up and arrested my dad well my mom came back there and said he was drunk and tryed to hit her well it turns out she was tellin the truth and he went back to jail agan well now my mom is getting remarrid to a man named danny who i now call my dad trust me hes way better then tim (my real father)and the best part about my new dad is he hates any kind of alicahol well i hope you liked my storie and it is true 1
Author notes
its been a year since my mom remarride and trust me life is great.
A contest entry
- Strong Women Protagonists by LaBelle.
100 points, ended December 28, 2006, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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cool
The story was greatbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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there's something thing
first off there are a bunch of typos, spell check.
secondly, I think you need to separate your ideas a little better. organize. there were a bunch tangents, signaled by the words "getting back to the story"
Your tale is quite heartfelt, and it has some real potential. I hope you're doing better now. I hope things turned out better for you in the end. How old were your sisters? Did you move with your mother to GA? Sorry all the millions of questions. if you ever want to talk, you can IM me anytime.
--SiN

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