The Biblical Discourse - A Future Post

There was awkward tenseness about the situation as the two of them stared at one another. It was like time had come to a stop, with the strange realization that here they both were, alive and well, and yet on opposite sides. Joshua perhaps was the most confused, as the conflicting emotions that were coursing through him kept him from acting at all. A part of him was so thankful to see his older brother for the first time in over 6 years that he wanted to rush toward him. But then another part of him was keenly aware of the Dark Mark throbbing on his brother’s forearm, which above everything made him want to arm himself, brace himself for what would inevitably come.1

Simon, too, was conflicted as to how to react. Though he had been easily invading his brother’s mind over the period of roughly a year, this was the first time he had seen Josh, now fully grown and nearly equal to Simon in height. In his mind’s eye, he had still seen the 13 year old child, not the now 20 man that stood before him. It was almost regrettable, really, for Simon still entertained a few memories of their childhood together, and though he was still inconceivably bitter, he acknowledged that they had once been very close. He could even admit he had once loved Joshua.2

So for the moment, they both just stared at one another. From a short distance, Ba’al was watching them with her shocking blue eyes; her keen sense had picked up the tension on the air, and this new boy smelled so much like her master that her animal mind was having trouble rationalizing it. Still, somehow, she sensed she liked this new boy. He was passive, it seemed, and even her master, who now more than ever seemed to be driven mad by his own self-love, had been pushed into submission by this boy’s mere presence.3

“Hello, brother,” Simon said quietly, his hazel eyes locked with Joshua’s blue ones. There was little more he could say, for he hadn’t foreseen this.4

Joshua took in a shaking breath as though he didn’t know what to say. How was he to verbalize the combination of relief and apprehension that took him over? “Simon…”5

Simon smiled lightly at his brother, soft at first, as though he was genuinely glad to see him. But no, how could he? /This traitor who called himself brother…a perfect Judas in every way, right down to the kiss./ Even now, perfectly compassionate, he was denying himself, and Simon hated it. “I see you continue to live in sin,” he replied shrewdly, and any trace of the smile had completely vanished.6

The words struck Joshua harshly, and he felt his eyes glazing over. /Stop crying!/ he scolded himself. “Why didn’t you tell me…?” He didn’t need to explain. Simon would know be meant his wizarding abilities. Why hadn’t he known? Why hadn’t he seen it?7

“Are you your brother’s keeper?” Simon answered without missing a beat. All his gentleness and compassion had completely passed away and nothing more remained for his kind brother than contempt. “And there was no reason to tell you.”8

Shock riddled Josh’s face. “How could you keep this from me?” he asked, this time taking a step closer to his brother. “You let me go down as a martyr…when you were a wizard all along.”9

Simon rolled his eyes in exasperation at the comment and shook his head. “You always had a martyr complex…” he responded, his voice cool and emotionless. “And yet strangely, you are the betrayer. Now how does that work?”10

A few tears forced their way from Josh’s eyes. “I don’t understand.”11

“Neither do I.” A tense silence passed between them once more, where Simon restrained himself from chastising his brother for his tears. /You’d think he was my sister…/ he thought, though his thoughts did not fall on an empty mind. From behind his tears an anger burned within Joshua’s cobalt eyes, one that was fueled by hurt.12

“Please don’t say -”13

“Sodomite.”14

At this next word Joshua’s whole body suddenly became stiff, and his tears stopped. “How did you know?”15

“You need to learn how to protect your mind,” Simon answered n a matter-of-fact tone. “You may be great at invading others, but when it comes to protecting yourself your mind is like an open book.”16

“You’ve been using Occlumency on me?!” Josh exclaimed, his eyes wide. If Simon was saying what Josh thought he was saying, then he felt now a taste of what Raven must have felt when he invaded her mind. It was like having his secrets stolen – his mind raped.17

Without saying anything, Simon allowed his eyes to focus on Joshua’s and his mind to access those thoughts. Before Josh was even aware of what was happening, his mind began reeling, thoughts passing through him with such intensity that it was like he was reliving them. The train ride – the tunnel – the dance – the marking. All in gross detail. It was terrifying to have no control over his own thoughts, and even more so to know that none of them, none of those private moments, had been entirely private for him. It took almost all of his energy to regain control of his mind, and it hurt his head to do so. “Stop!”18

“You could have been forgiven before," Simon continued, releasing his hold on Joshua’s mind as he had shown his capabilities. “But that sin…you…perverse…” He was having trouble finding words for the intense anger he felt for the one before him.19

Joshua was staggering as it had taken most of his energy to remove his brother. He hadn’t expected it to be so physically taxing and was mentally scolding himself for his lack of defense over his thoughts. He would need to improve that, because against his brother he was virtually defenseless. However, he could return the action, and though Josh had of late tried to be respectful of the privacy of thought (or at least in most cases) he would make an exception for his brother. There was no hesitation as he turned the connection in reverse, his own skill at Occlumency delving into his brother’s thoughts. In succession they burned through both minds; the Dark Mark – Tobias Snape – but Simon, it seemed, was much more skilled at guarding his thoughts, as it took him only a matter of seconds to regain control.20

“You really should reconsider doing that,” Simon scolded, his defenses now completely in place so that no one would be able to overcome him, excepting perhaps the Dark Lord. “After all, I’m clearly more prepared then you are. You really should learn how to defend yourself.”21

“You’ve been watching me…all this time…” Joshua answered, his voice soft and incredulous. “Why?”22

“You damned yourself when you engaged in sodomy with…him…” Simon continued, gesturing to the blonde beside his brother. It was in that moment that Joshua felt the true anger within him flare up. He was hurt by Simon’s attacks on him, but attacking his partner wasn’t anything he’d allow.23

“You leave Daaha out of this, Simon,” Joshua replied sharply, stepping slightly so he was blocking the smaller boy from his brother’s eyes. Not that he didn’t believe in Daaha’s abilities to protect himself against Simon, but this was his battle, and Simon would know where his allegiance lay. “Simon Peter you have no right to judge me. You are no saint.”24

“Aren’t I?” Simon replied briefly, though his attention was drawn to a throbbing in his forearm. His Lord was calling to him, and the message was clear. /Kill the spares…we need Harry./ For a moment the man was tense, uptight. He didn’t want to obey that demand. This was still his brother, after all. But his Lord’s word was absolute. It was an odd feeling that overcame him then, for it was clearly proof that somewhere in his heard he still cared for the one before him. Even despite all this. However, Simon found himself conflicted…he didn’t want to kill Joshua, and yet part of him wanted to see him suffer.25

Joshua mistook the silence following his brother’s vindication and grasped at his wand tightly, knowing that if he had to defend himself or Daaha, he would. “Simon, remember, ‘judge not lest ye be judged’.”26

The scriptural quote was not what Simon had expected from his little brother, as he thought Josh had forsaken all faith. But no matter; Simon could win at this game. He had meditated on these texts much more than his younger brother had. “Lay not with a man as one lies with a woman; this is wickedness.”27

“Thou shalt not kill,” Joshua responded quickly, emphasizing the last word and pressing into his brother’s thoughts once more. Simon must have had too much on his mind, as it wasn’t too difficult to tap into his brother. Simon didn’t even appear to be aware of the invasion.28

“To everything there is a season, and time for every purpose under heaven…even a time to kill,” Simon spoke just as quickly as his brother and now held a mischievous air about him. “And remember…neither homosexuals, nor sodomites…will inherit the kingdom of God.”29

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Joshua spoke these last words with a burning intensity that bore into Simon, cut into him like a whet blade. “Don’t belittle me because you think you’re more ‘clean’. At least I’m on the right side.”30

They were simple words, and yet the effect was exponential. The Dark Mark on Simon’s forearm began to burn as Voldemort’s fury reacted to the hesitation in his mudblood servant. Every second the man waited was another lost moment to the Dark Lord. Again Simon heard the voice in his head, pressing him to destroy both of the men before him, but he grasped his forearm tightly, ignoring the plea. “I’m impressed little brother. I thought you gave up on religion a long time ago.”31

Joshua shook his head. “Maybe your interpretation of it.” It was a firm statement and it shook Simon in a way he hadn’t expected.32

The dark hazel eyes surveyed both forms, looking them up and down, sizing them up. “It wasn’t my interpretation, Josh. Nor am I on the wrong side.”33

“You can’t believe that,” Joshua replied, his voice quiet and his mind still wrapped in his brother’s. “Your ‘master’ has already told you to kill me twice. That’s not anything to be proud of.” He was lost as to how his brother could rationalize all he was saying. Still overwhelmed by the combination of feelings passing through him, he pulled out of Simon’s mind in respect for the vulnerability of his brother.34

“Yes, but I haven’t killed you, have I?”35

Joshua shook his head, his eyes downcast. “No, you haven’t. Because you know its wrong.”36

Simon glanced past his brother to the golden-haired male behind him, locking hazel with gold in a tight and yet cold stare. It was clear he didn’t know who to blame anymore – he couldn’t blame this one for who his brother was now, as Joshua had been different long before meeting him. And he couldn’t blame Josh for he hadn’t caused Simon any pain by who he was. His sodomy was nothing to Simon, and Simon’s failure was his own. Neither could he blame his Lord because doing so would mean death for himself. And he couldn’t blame Harry, even now, because all he could see of the boy showed him that the “boy who lived” wanted nothing of what he had in his life. That left only one person to blame – himself, and that above all else scared him. Placing blame on himself made him wrong, made him lost, made him no better than the sinners before him. And thinking back on his conversation with Raven those months ago, he realized that his failure lay in his hatred of those who had scorned him, and his lack of forgiveness for them. Raven had been able to move past her hatred of Tobias, even though he had raped her, and yet Simon had never forgiven Joshua for…what had he done, anyway?37

“You were jealous,” Joshua spoke suddenly, the truth revealing itself to him, and though he hadn’t been following Simon’s thoughts, the statement startled Simon in its accuracy. “Is that why you called me a traitor? Because I was accepted and you weren’t?”38

The older man became very stiff, as the way his brother had put it made him sound like a self-involved ass. Though the more he thought about it, the truer it was. With a false confidence on his face, he nodded. “Of course I was jealous. How does that happen? I was better than you! Why was I ignored and you were accepted?”39

“I don’t know, Simon,” Joshua replied truthfully with a sigh. He couldn’t deny that Simon was world’s better than him at Occlumency, which was saying quite a lot, as Occlumency was Josh’s strongest skill, and the only person he knew who could rival him in it was Raven. He couldn’t see why Simon was ignored. “I really don’t know,” he said again, locking his eyes with his brother’s. “But you can’t blame me for that.”40

“You are truly self-focused if you can bring this back to yourself, Isca-”41

“And you need to stop blaming yourself for it too,” Joshua cut him off before he could be addressed as the traitor again. But his own words surprised him, though not nearly as much as they surprised Simon.42

“Who says I’m blaming myself?” Simon questioned, and as he spoke it was clear his cold front had passed. He was now merely perplexed. It was a genuine confusion, one that could no longer be concealed by the emotionless mask. Now he just looked lost.43

Joshua watched his brother cautiously as though unsure of his reaction, but compassion filled him when he saw the honesty on Simon’s face. “Oh Simon, I want to help you!”44

“You can’t,” the elder replied, though dejected in tone. It was almost as though he regretted now not being closer to his brother. After all, he had made his choice years ago, and now he was a Death Eater. There could be no changes now, regardless. This failure he would have to bear for the rest of his life.45

Joshua shook his head and took a step closer to his brother. “Look, you can still fix this,” he pressed softly, sensing his brother was coming to. However he stopped his approach when Simon raised his wand and directed it at him.46

“Don’t patronize me!” His eyes remained locked on their faces as he snapped his fingers, calling Ba’al to his side. Faithful as ever, though now feeling her loyalty wane, she came to him, her eyes shining in the darkness. /Ba’al, I want you to take these ones for me…I need to get back to my Lord./47

She glanced from her master to his companions, recognizing the blonde one as that creature who had encountered them by Simon’s home, fighting with her human female. Ba’al was drawn to this one. He had been kind to her, animals as they both were. At her master’s biting words inside her head, she yelped loudly and scratched at her skull with her massive paws. This thing she would not do. She barked loudly, the abrasive sound tearing through the night, and ran to the boy’s side, looking up at him with loyalty in her ice-blue eyes.48

“Stupid wolf!” Simon shouted in exasperation, white-knuckling his wand. “Now you turn your back on my too?”49

Ba’al allowed the blonde one to pet her fur as a silent response to her master’s fury. Joshua was given confidence by the animal as well as his mate’s presence. He drew closer to Simon, his eyes never leaving his brother’s. Several times Simon gesticulated with his wand, but it did nothing to stop the slowly encroaching presence of his younger brother. When Joshua was close enough to touch, Simon forced himself to be more direct, and pointed his wand at his brother’s chest, the tip of it pressing into his body. Gaze not wavering, Josh grasped his brother’s right wrist, gently pressing the dangerously close wand away from him. Then with his other hand, he turned Simon’s left forearm so it was facing up, the dark mark still throbbing within the skin. Then gently, ever so gently, he placed his left hand over the mark, his eyes no longer focused on Simon’s but closed. His fingers on the intricate marking proved to be the communion he wanted, and using Occlumency he spoke to the Dark Lord himself. /This one isn’t yours anymore. You have no claim on him./50

There was a moment’s fury where the Dark Mark began to swell up and burn under Joshua’s fingertips, the rage of the Dark Lord showing itself in this physical manifestation of his powerful reign, but Joshua did not release his brother, nor did Simon pull from the younger man’s touch. It lasted for only a moment, but with its ending also came a new realization – that Simon would be free of him. Right now the lord was already weak from having so few left to support him; Simon’s true colours would only serve as a warning for him, and for now, because the Dark Lord was preoccupied, he was safe. It was silent.51

Simon took it all in, dumbfounded about what his brother was doing. Joshua had used him as a conduit to communicate with the lord Voldemort, so Simon had heard every word. He was shocked, but also moved by Joshua’s bravery, and watched him with a new, pure expression on his face. “Why…why did you do that?”52

Joshua smiled lightly, sensing the change within Simon, and it brought him peace. “I told you I would help you,” he answered quietly, his hands still grasping the Dark Mark on Simon’s forearm. “And I knew it was what you wanted; you were just too afraid to tell him yourself.”53

Simon nodded, taking in a shaking breath and feeling at that moment more conflicted and unworthy as ever. He looked into Joshua’s eyes, his smiling face, and turned his eyes downcast in shame. “I’m sorry…” he said quietly. “I’m…such a sinful man.”54

Joshua smiled more broadly then and pulled his unsuspecting brother into an embrace. “So are we all,” he replied gently. “So was your namesake…Simon Peter…and yet Christ made him the pillar of His church.” He pulled away then and held Simon at arm’s length, knowing that they could not linger, for Harry might need them, and yet he wanted to remain, glad to have his brother back.55

Simon was able to return the smile at hi brother’s simple words, and though he flinched under his brother’s embrace he did not pull away. “Me…the denier of Jesus, and you the prophet.”56

A light laugh escaped Joshua. “Maybe my first name…my middle, if you recall, belonged to an oversexed king who was a really bad father…I hope at least the latter doesn’t prove as true as the former.” He turned then form his brother to face his lover and the wolf. Of course it had to end soon…there would be no escaping it. “C’mon…we need to find Harry. He needs our help.”57

AN: and in a shack somewhere in Northern Britain, Lord Voldey-pants head blows up when he realizes he’s about to be defeated by the homosexual army of Tervintasho & friends©!58