"How close can you get?" I had always asked myself that. Here I was, with an empty vodka bottle in one hand, and a fag in the other. I was close to risking her life here, more than close. How could I get like that? I was the richest girl on the block, my own ipod, colour phone, with the internet, and those real music ringtones, a swimming pool in the garden, a hair and makeup artist, a maid- But I didn't want a penny of it. All I wanted was someone who cared, and understood. 1
I didn't have any real friends, I just hung around with marrisa. Uggghhhh. She was a sin. She was like a dog that constantly needed the toilet. She always pestered, and asked, and wanted more. It wasn't really her fault. Her lifestyle was exactly like mine. But that was hard to get my head around, seeing as Marissa and myself were completely different. 2
People treated me like scum. They were just jealous, cause they couldn't even afford manners, but it still hurt. So, to cut the long story short, I started drinking. With Marrisa there, every single night. Moaning. About her parents not buying her another pony. "Marissa, you already have 4 how can you possibly need another one?" She mimicked. To be completely honest, I didn't blame them. I started to believe maybe it was her. she couldn't be that spoilt, if her parents had finally given in. 3
Marissa had pushed me over the edge. I'd snapped. Tonight, when you get home from the party, you'll find this note. And you'll find me too. With a smashed vokda bottle, and a fag, limply clutched in my hand. Sorry mum. Sorry Dad. Life isn't fair.4
A contest entry
- Honesty, Love, Words, and Letters by Tangled Angle.
100 points, ended April 9, 2006, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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alsome
keep up the good workbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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WOW
Really sad. It felt like it realy happened. Good job, hopefully this isn't real. -
read the last two paragraphs carefully and revise. Otherwise this was good, but I didn't really catch the letter in this... Other than that this was a good story you came up with.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, overall: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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hi
It was 2 her mum and dad.
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keep going its getting good.
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lovely
you got the start of something good here. keep it coming! -
thats good keep going its pretty nice so far ill come back and read more if oyu write it.
overall: 7.
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