By mid afternoon I has reached the Valley of Dragons. No... it's not infested with fire breathing drangons but with snap dragons. A little less scary right? Not when they cover every sqaure inch of the mile long valley.1
There's only two avaible ways for me to kill a dragon at the age of ten.2
1: Steal a sword and got all of them down. Or...3
2: Try to stomp on them.4
And of course... me being a good girl at the time choose number 2.5
As I reached the first snap dragon it was alseep as were the others next to it. So I thought it would be the perfect time to stomp right? Wrong. The snap dragons had amazing hearing. And as soon as my foot was above their heads they awakened.6
As I stomped and ran at the same time I triped into a strange patch of no snap dragons that had only been there a moment before. So what had happened to them?7
Stragne enough the Lilly Dragons ( Firebreathers this time) eat snap dragons. And as I looked above me I saw a herd of Lilly Dragons comming to land in the feild. 8
Lucky for me Lilly Dragons knew many languages and were very kind and poliet to humans. So as they began to land and clear the valley I stepped up to one.9
" Hello. I'm Ana. What's your name?"10
The sky blue dragon turned her head and looked at me carefully before she responded.11
" I am Niesha... in Dargon languae that means Sky. For I am colored with the sky. Ana? Your name would be Meshaita in Dragon."12
" Wow! That's so wonderful! But aren't you a Lilly Dragon? What are you doing all they way here? Don't you live just south of the kingdom?"13
" Yes Meshaita. But my kind along with other dragons have been forced to kepp going norht toward the Capitol because of the Salvs. They have been driving my kind bakc and making bulidings and villages where our homes where and our feeding grounds."14
" I'm so sorry Sky. I lost my village too. But I also lost all my friends and family. I am the only surivor and must get to the Capitol to warn the Emporer!"15
" I am sorry to hear of your loss Meshaita. I and my clan our on our way to Kannok, a city 300 miles before the Capitol. But we can not take you with us. For if we are shot down you will also perish. And we can not be held responsible for the death of an inoccent child."16
" Oh. Well that's alright I guess. I wouldn't want you to get in troble or anything."17
" But little Meshaita. What I can do is fly you 50 miles from here. Would you like that?"18
"Oh very much!!! Thank you Sky! Thank You!'19
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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BAMNN !!! this caught my eyes because it was different from the stories I usually read. It was written in a light, humouros, but engaging way and I thought that despite starting at chapter 5 it was a great story !!!
Blair
Well done
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This is an interesting story with several misspelling. You need to go back and change it. Please use spell check.
However, I do love to read stories about dragons and your use of dragons I have never heard of was very interesting.
Please change the spellings.
1. Try and steal a sword and got them all down...
should read gut then all down I believe.
8 paragraph....first word should be strange.
9th paragraph word should be polite
14 paragraph should be keep instead of kepp.
16 paragraph.. word innocent is spelled wrong
pargraph 17 trouble is misspelled
just some of the misspellings I noticed right off. Try fixing these and then re-read the story and see if you can notice any others. Always re-read and use spell check. Typing sometimes causes us to hit the wrong keys. Causing misspellings.
Good job
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Fantastic! Like Violet Hill, I was rather silly and started with this one, but it was still amazingly well wrtitten and fantastically descriptive. I loved all the descriptions. Especially the way she elected to stomp on them. That made me laugh. Cute. And nice names, especially with the translation to the dragon name from Ana. Good little touch. A lovely little piece. I would suggest you check your typos, but this happens to everyone, especially if you type fast. lol. anyway, they didn't spoil it in any way whatsoever, it was fantastic. Very nice read! Thanks!
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I can honestly say it was very well wrting, but I of course was being stupid and I started with this one, I will go back and read all your other chapters
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WOW!!
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You spelled four things wrong. kepp = keep, notrh = north, bulidigns = buildings, bakc = back. otherwise its good. keep going.
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Good chapter, nice character development.
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I started at chapter five and realized that this installment has me interested in reading the others. I enjoyed your character and her experience with the dragons. I also like the description that you give to the reader. Nice work.
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This is good! IT kinda caught my attention, alittle. Good job anyway! I can't wait to read more! Keep the good work up! I looooove it! And I don't see any mistakes, but if there are some, I'm too tired to list them.
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Better grammar!
Much better grammar in this installment.
I also like the introduction of Niesha/Sky into the conversation.
50 miles is going to be quite a bit of help, but will it really take that big of a chunk out of a four year journey?
I see this is the latest installment of Ana, do you plan on writing any more? -
Well, this was an awesome story. It could use some touch ups here and there, but other than that a very fine read. : )
Good Job!
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This is an amazing story. I will have to go back and read the other four parts, (Cause I'm new) but look forward to reading the rest of the story. Keep up the good work!
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This story just seems to be getting better. But you still have your mistakes and such with grammar and spelling. I think you should continue with this piece for a good while, cause it's really good.
Keep up the great work, Ashley! I look forward to more of your stories and such. -
Needs work on spelling and grammar, but otherwise a highly amusing story.
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Pretty good. By the ending I guess it's unfinished? The characters sort of felt realistic. Not bad. My most favourite part was when Ana tried to stomp on the dragon. Lol
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Your spelling was a bit off, and you need to work on the grammar as well, but the snap dragons idea is really clever! Fix your mistakes and keep it up! Can't wait to read more!
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In the beginning, change "got" to "get." The grammar's a little off in some parts, but that's all right. It's a good story. I like the description and style to it. Watch for spelling like with "poliet" and "langue". The site offers a spell-checker upon entering stories. The names are clever. The setting is intriguing. Good work.
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Good start
Lots of spelling errors. But it has potential. I loved the snapdragons. Here when you said they weren't regular dragons I was thinking flowers. I loved it!!!
Fix the spelling (I think there is spell check on this site now) and keep going.
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