Here we are again.1
I thought it would never have come to all of this. I thought when you said forever, you really meant it. I guess I thought wrong. All I ever did to you was all I ever could. Anything I ever could. Anything to make you happy--to make you smile. Because what else is there? I've found I could never truly be happy without knowing you were. And really, that's the problem here. You may think you're happy where you are. And maybe in some way, you are. But I can't be satisfied with that. In my heart, in my mind, I know that you've done better. A lot better. How can you even stand to surround yourself with people like them?2
I don't mean they're bad people, honestly. But their beliefs aren't anything like yours. Or, at least, what yours used to be. But how should I know what your beliefs are? I don't know anything about you anymore, really. We're so different now. How did that happen? How did I let that happen to us?3
"How'd I let you slip away, when I'm longing so to hold you? Now I'd die for one more day, because... there's something I should have told you."4
There is something I should have told you. I should have told you every day that I loved you and that I needed you. I should have told you... why I needed you to be happy so badly. It was for my own selfish reasons. Your laughter... your smile... they held up my universe. They were my life. And without them, that life... disappears. I should have told you that if you left, there would be no reason to go on anymore. And there isn't. What purpose is there of hanging onto life? What purpose is there of hanging onto anything, if one day you're just going to have to let everything go?5
What happens when it all becomes too much, and that smile that used to comfort now makes you want to cry? What do you do when there's no route to go on anymore? And the one person you followed--the one person you hoped to be just like--is changing into the one person you've tried all your life not to be like?6
What happens when the future you dreaded becomes the future you can't avoid?7
What happens when everything you thought you knew becomes a lie?8
And what happens when she's so far over to the other side that she can't even relate to the side your on?9
...those are only half the questions you left behind. And their answers couldn't even give me satisfaction. The only thing that could bring me satisfaction is having you back.10
"Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Life goes on. But I'm... gone. Because I die without you."11
Author notes
quotes courtesy of rent.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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I can totally relate to this. My ex fiance and I broke up in May and I've never been the same since. The questions you've presented are the very questions I've asked myself. Amazing write.
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beautifully depressing
omigosh, that was sooo sad. this was written beautifully, it has amazing emotion...it made me cry -
A heartbreaker
Another emotional piece of heartbreak. Will it ever stop? No, not as long as love exists.
Simply beautiful and sweet. A real heart melter.
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wow amazing, awesome, so good... just a tip, it's kinda hard to read with the fluro pink background... might just be me, but yer was a tad annoying
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I think the first paragraph needs to be re-written kinda comes across as talking in a circle. The rest of the story is good. I enjoyed it.
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great descriptions, and emotion. I loved it! Good job.
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.... So sad. That last line... Wow, it almost made me cry. I NEVER cry at stuff... I didn't cry at the Titanic movie or anything but that last line was unexpected and I have to say it caught me. This whole piece is flooded with emotion and loss and I understand how it feels to have the world crash down around you because you never said the stuff you meant to say. Luckily I was pulled back from that brink but I know every part of this story, the loss, the guilt, the fear, the hope and the heartache. Beautiful indeed and amazingly captured. You have an excellent way with words. Only suggestion... Please change the background, it made my eyes hurt and everything else look yellow
. Otherwise, an amazing and emotional piece of writing. Thank you!
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This was awesome could really feel the emotion....
and I love the uses of the quotes from rent. One of my favorite movies.
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quotes from rent??? where??? omg so love that movie... damn stupid idiot i missed them rawr... anyway, where???
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Wow, very powerfully written. A lot is packed into suck a small peice of writing. Keep up the good work and until next time,
Soul -
Some minor stuff like "your/you're.
Wow this is a brilliant piece. And I don't say that lightly. xD Very well-done.
It's horribly sad, and wonderful too...O.O
How are people so heartless...?
-HT
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Ah,m I thought those quotes sounded familiar ^-^
I love how you incorporated them smoothly into the story...
Nice work =]
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Wow...this was very good. Made me want to cry...
"Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Life goes on. But I'm... gone. Because I die without you."
I would die without my boyfriend. I love him with all of my heart and soul. He's the most important thing to me, and if anything were to tear us apart I know I would just become and empty shell, full of nothingness, because he is what makes my heart beat, he is what makes up the air I breath, he is my moon, stars, and sun...he's my everything...
Rambling now, but...dah!
LOVED THIS PIECE! -
It really brought tears to my eyes. I could feel all the pain, all the emotions. You did a great job in creating your character. You managed to make readers to have sympathy with him. This is really a powerful piece of writing. And i envy you for having written this one (though of course in good sense)
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I like this mostly because your representation of heart-broken thought processes is so realistic. This is just how someone in that position would think - might I guess that this is written from experience? The rhetorical questions give it a nice flow and also powerful semantics of desperation. A good piece, keep up the good work.
- CC -
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Yes, this was definitely a piece straight from the heart of experience. I just wrote it to get my feelings out but it's gotten a lot of positive feedback which I am very surprised for.
Thank you for your kind words, nonetheless =]
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Whoa the first para kinda has a singsong tone to it! Nice flow, i can feel the indignation in me
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NIcely poignant description of loss and pain. Keep writing!
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That is so sad. this is amazingly written.
"Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. Life goes on. But I'm... gone. Because I die without you."
I like this bit best. This is amazing. Well done. Kais =)
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Here I thought going through stuff like this was uncommon. Now I realize it happens all the time. This will help me get through. Thank you.
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this was an amazingly touching story. I could relate to it so much... well, I think everybody can even if it's at a different level. I moved two summers ago and I completely feel this way about some of the people I left behind. Most of my friends are still together but they've all changed slightly or in big ways. It's hard because I always remember them as being who they were when I left them but when I go back and visit them that image is almost ruined.
this was a fantastic read. keep up the good work!
xoxo
PS. thank you for the comment on my story!
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i love this
i can relate so much
beautiful -
A very heart touching story. You managed to describe how important the "you" is to the writer and that's awesome!! I like this story^^!
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Wow, this is moving. Your words touched my heart. I can relate to your troubles. Just stay strong and try to do the best you can without this person, dwelling on what could-have-been won't get you anywhere in life. Keep your head and up and never give in to negative temptation. Use your words to express your emotions, but not your actions. Keep writing, good job.
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BRILLIANT
wow so full of emotions and very heart felt It is a brilliant write there were parts i here where I knew where you were coming from excllent job
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wow. I love this! I absolutely love this! It's really well written, for one, but for two, it's so emotional. so powerful, you know?
this really, really, really rocks.
i love it!
e♥
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wow this is really touching... the poor person. very well written, it has a lot in it.. good work
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wow i really really really love this. this is everything that i wish i could have said and put into words and you did. this is amazing!
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so sad. everything is good here. i really dont know what else to say, but goodjob with this.
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I like that this is directed an unknown source. It shows passion and conviction. I especially like where the story reads, "Your laughter, your smile, they held up my universe." That's nicely spoken. Good job.
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Sad but true. A piece many people can relate to. You've done a really good job writing it beautifully simple. No big words *or SAT words as I call them hehe*
The quotes are awesome, my favourite one is the last line. "Without you... Because I die without you" is just so "bam!" powerful.
GOOD JOB!! -
This was sad but the way you enthused the qoutes into this made it even beter. Short but good.
Lady Madeline. -
I think that you did a cool job with the quotes. It ties in the story very well.
It's short but well done!
Great Job
Kari -
I like Rent. I also like this. Excellent job; I understood what you were saying and that was one thing making it great. Congrats on the awesome job done and keep up all the great work. Haha, by the way, I like your username, hahahaha.
~Kevan~ -
I love the way this was writen. It is so sad, yet it is true for some people. It is so hard some times to go on without the one you love.
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Your laughter... your smile... they held up my universe.
That line was just beautiful! There were several parts at which, while I was reading I just stopped and thought 'Wow'. It was so clear and sad. Very well writen, very good flow. It's wonderful!
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Pretty good
I have to say everything here is pretty darn good. As someone that has seen someone change to become their opposite myself, I think you explained in a fairly detailed manner the issues which can come from such a change. Interesting story.
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I found a few real thought provoking lines in here...
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