June 14 1
Dear India,2
Today the sea is in turmoil. It rises to an enormous height, and I can see the lightning flash in vivid streaks far off in the horizon. How I wish I could see you! The storm is frightening in a beautiful way--it is not often that the sea becomes so uprooted as this. Let me tell you about India, the place you were named after. It is usually hot and muggy, but it is the most exciting place to be in the entire world. The scents and spices float through every street, and the market vendors are either cheerful and robust, or shady and knife thin, like they haven't eaten enough for days. The market was always awake with life, even through the night. The fruits were fresh every day, and the clothing sold was made of the finest silk. Donkeys, geese, cats, dogs, and even sometimes elephants visited the market with their owners, but most of the time, the cats and dogs were strays. Cows were also commonly seen. I remember looking in at a jewelry stall when an overpowering smell reached me. I turned around to be covered in the shadow of a gigantic elephant! Your mother was very brave though, she asked if we could ride. The owner said yes, and so up we went. We could see for miles down the street, and the roofs were all different types of colors and shapes. I liked the little lopsided houses because they were often painted in vivid colors, and were very cheerful. When night came, we thanked the kind man, and trodded slowly back to the hotel. I think that India was the most exquisite place I have ever been to. Hopefully you will go there one day, and see what it is like for yourself. The grandeur is too much to describe. I think the storm is slowing down now. 3
Much Love,4
Daddy.5
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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A really superb and touchy letter. Description is good and suits many markets (and places) in India. But with globalization things are changing and not 'every' place in India is like that. So, please mention the time period also.
If one can adjust and adapt.....India is the best place to be.
Well-done and keep it up!!
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The description in this scene was excellent. The marketplace really stood out: all the senses were used to pull the reader into the bazaar.
The emotional backround was interesting as well. The father's letter to his daughter, India, gave the reader a sense that something else was going on behind the scenes.
The sentences are natural and easy to read. The charecters felt real, especially the father's fear of the elephant and his admiration of his wife "for being so brave."beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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Lovely letter! Interesting decriptions set the scene. Well done!
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Again, this is a very sweet letter. I am just wondering what he is doing away form his daughter. It is a shame him being so far away with such a young daughter missing him so. I think this is very touching, well done. Kais
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