As I Saw My Father

Dear Sara...1

You asked me why I've been distant lately. Why I no longer look in your eyes when we talk. You told me you didn't think that we could be friends if I kept avoiding you the way I have been. Honestly, the reason is harder than I think you ever would have wanted to know.2

I took a walk the other day and saw all the people driving by me, unaware of the pain in the world. The pain that other people have to suffer through day in and day out. I never wanted to feel this way. I never thought I would feel like this. I never wanted to, but there it is.3

You're wondering what I'm talking about, right? What could possibly be bothering pampered, self-righteous little me? I wouldn't tell you, but I feel I need to. There's no other choice.4

About a month ago, I had a fight with my father. You know how he is. He was drunk again. I remember looking into his glazed eyes, drool sliding down the side of his face as he yelled at me. It hurt to think that just three years ago, almost to the day, he was happy and healthy with my mom. But ever since she died...I'm sure it's not my dad's fault he gets like this.5

Anyway, we fought. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to call the police, because dad was all I had left in the world. So, instead, I ran.6

I had nowhere to go. I knew what you would say if I had gone to your house. "Your dad is a drunk. You shouldn't live with him. Something bad is gonna happen." Just like every other time I ran to you when he got drunk. Well, you're right. About everything. But just because I should leave doesn't mean I can leave. Just because a bird has wings doesn't keep them from being broken.7

So I was out of town, walking down the road. My God, Sara, it was so cold. My eyes were frozen open as I walked down the road. And I wish they hadn't have been for what I saw next.8

The car raced past, then the driver slammed on the breaks. It spun in the middle of the road and flipped over. Once, twice...I lost count after the driver flew out of the window and into a tree. I saw the body crumple as it hit, before it fell to the ground. My body went numb as the car, or, rather, the truck, screeched to a halt about fifty feet away.9

A black GMC with a red dragon painted on the back. You know the one. It was the one that my dad drove to pick me up after school every day for ten years.10

I can't help myself but cry as I write this to you, Sara. The only reason I actually am writing it is so you will know what happened. So you know that I did not leave without saying goodbye. You see, they're sending me to an orphanage in the city.11

It's not that I don't want you to come see me, it's just that it would hurt too much. It would remind me of all of the good times we had. You're my best friend. Please, never forget that.12

But you must know that I can't be around you any more. Sara, as I saw my father lying at the bottom of the tree, his face bloody...It's just, everyone I ever loved has died. I'm sorry, Sara, I just can't do that to you. I'll never forget you, Sara. Please. Never forget me.13

Love always,14

Bailey15

Sara put down the letter, tears in her eyes as she watched the News Reporter.16

"The only living relative," the reporter said, "Is his sixteen year old daughter, Bailey Eris, whose mother died, in, ironically enough, a drunk driving incident.17

"It is believed that Mr. Eris left his house to look for Bailey after she reportedly ran away. The girl was found leaning over his body, yelling hysterically, when the ambulance arrived. It is still in question why Bailey was allowed to live with her father after numerous reports of abuse by their neighbors, her teachers, and her friends. This is, understandably, a troubling situation for the girl. This is Tabitha Sans, field reporter, signing out."18