It was the day, cold chilly winds rushing through my veins. It seems my blood was being frozen and the tears evaporated. Everything seemed to be painful. And at a corner of my heart laid very true memories of my brother, Ansh.1
Something was touching my soul. Something was scaring me. I used to think about him, how would he be? Would he have taken food? And such questions used to pass by me, leaving me lamenting.2
It was hard to think about his conditions. He would be about at the border, standing alert for days in that small hut. He would have been dying for a piece of cloth, holding that inauspicious gun in his hand. I sometime used to imagine, how the chilly winds would be affecting him. Would they help bringing the unrest in the world down?3
I somehow managed to stand up, my body frozen. Somehow, came nearer to the cabinet. I opened it. Fear flooded me. Pair of tears rolled down from my eyes. There was the copy, which Ansh gave me on my Birthday.4
I recollected my strength and picked the copy. I read over it, written in deep bold golden words-5
"For my very own brother,6
wishing him happiness,7
and peace of the soul."8
I took a sigh of heave and thought about the day. When he drew at my back and wished me, opened the lights and I remember the golden dawn.9
I torn a paper and picked the inkpot. Took, a bird feather and dipped it deep in the ink. How fast did the feather change its color? Why can't my life learn from it?10
Then I wrote,11
D-687 Housing colony,12
KK. Shanti Villa Nagar,13
March 27, 200614
Dear Ansh,15
It has been long since I heard you voice. I feel that I am deaf now. I feel guilt upon myself, upon my destiny. I ask myself, why did I born with such a destiny. I know I have been mean to you. Though, I don’t posses any right to ask, but can you, give me something, and hope you won’t say me no-16
“Please forgive me brother,17
Please forgive me for everything I did…”18
That’s all I want from you. I feel like dying. If you cannot forgive me, I prefer death. Well, that is the only escape. I cannot bear it anymore…I can’t…19
Walls seems to gaze at me…the wind screams, threats me as it passes…my soul freezes when I see eyes of mom, dad…I can’t bear…Your brother have been beaten up, Ansh. Now it is up to your hands…20
But, at the same time, I fear death. I fear what will I say to dad, when he meets me in the heaven. What will I say when he will ask me, “What did you do for Ansh?” What will I say when he will say me, why I left you alone in the battlefield. I wouldn’t be able to answer them, I cannot face those questioning eyes…I can’t!21
I can face the wraith of the burning soul inside, but I can’t face those questioning eyes. Tell me brother, how can I help you? Any sort of help…any sort… If my life can protect you, if I can be of any help in that bloody battlefield, please don’t hesitate to ask. Remember, it is no more my life, it is yours…and don’t mind to kill one life, if necessary…22
At least, if I die for you, I would be able to face those eyes. At least, I would be able to rest in piece…23
Your brother,24
Kavya25
And I rapped the feather in another piece of paper and attached it along with the letter. I moved towards the window, and let the letter be freed along with the feather…because, it was up to God, to the wind to take the letter wherever Ansh is…and I do trust them, after all, now they are my companions.26
I didn’t forget to stamp the letter, it was stained with blood flowing from my veins…and everything seemed to be darkened and I could see the letter flying…27
Author notes
The letter shall rach, I trust god.....
A contest entry
- Honesty, Love, Words, and Letters by Tangled Angle.
100 points, ended April 9, 2006, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Will the letter reach?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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WOW!!
this brought tears to my eyes!!!
it is so so so good!! So descriptive, wow! I am speachless...
keep up the awesome work!!
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Interesting and descriptive.
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great
wow this is really good! I enjoyed reading it very much! good write. keep it up!
Sarah xxxbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 6, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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thnx, thanx a lot
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Star Quality.
Hi Pole Star! We've met at sharepoetry where you impressed with your ability. But this is much more than clever - and bears the stamp of a poet beyond any of your poems.It also convinces me that the image you post on this site is your son and not you ( small Irish joke! ) .Your line about the feather (line 10 ) and how it comes back to haunt me at the end of the story is quite masterful - and poetic- by any standards . I had thought of entering this competition - past tense! Great work !beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 3.
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thnx...but, it's not my son....I m only 14. Moreover, u must try entering this contest. I think u 2 have a gr8 talent
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Thnx a lot....hope u see some more gud stories ehre
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This was awesome. I enjoyed this a lot. The background is pretty cool, it matches the colors of pain inside, sort of like a rage, or an anger with yourself... Anyway, this was very good. Here are your scores.
Creativity: 9 Great details. Loved how you wrote the story and tied the letter into it.
Originality: 9.5 The whole plot was great
Emotion: 9.5 Your beefed up details is what made this story so emotional. It was really great. I could feel the self regret, sadness, and I could feel sort an anger... you developed your character very well, because I felt how you felt in this story.
Showmanship: 10 Lookin' good.
Mechanics: 7.5 some errors... no biggies. The errors didn't take away from the meaning of the story. Your story was too awesome for the errors to stand out. Anyway, there were some spelling errors, which I think the spell checker missed, such as "rapped", that should be "wrapped". Don't worry about this category... It doesn't mean much to me- it might to other judges, but really, don't kick yourself in the leg over this.
Overall this was outstanding.
You have truly raised the bar for the competetors in this competition.
-Tyler
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