Soul Connection (Chapter 1)

Magdalena took aim and shot. Her arrow struck the center of the target, but not directly bullseye. For some people that would have been a good shot, but for Magdalena is wasn't. She was a deadly archer, even if her mind wasn't on it. She took aim and shot again, this time hitting dead center. She smiled and went back to her thoughts, all the while shooting arrow after arrow, hitting the center every time.1

She thought about her childhood and early youth, when her life had been more carefree and her family was still with her. No, her family was not dead, at least not to her knowledge. They had been captured when she was sixteen, probably sold into slavery by the Tamarans. It turned out that the Lord her family worked for (her father was a steward) was a vile and corrupt man. He ran up debts with a Tamaran Lord, and Tamaran Lords always demand payment, which if not paid on time could result in death. He owed so much that in order to avoid deadly punishment he handed over his entire village and all of its inhabitants to the Tamaran Lord.2

The Tamaran Lord liked that idea, but since the villagers were reluctant to just give themselves up, he had attacked and took them by force. Of course all of this was what Magdalena had heard, considering she wasn't there at the time. She had been off on her long summer herb gathering expedition for the village healer, a trip she had taken yearly since she was twelve and enjoyed because it gave her time to be alone and think. Magdalena was also close to nature and reveled in learning its mysteries.3

When she had finally returned to her village everything was destroyed and everyone gone. The despair that had welled up inside her almost destroyed her. Everything and everyone she had ever known was lost. She prayed for death and curled up on the empty ash shrewn street, awaiting her end. That was where Kael had found her. He convinced her not to give up, that she could avenge and perhaps even find her family one day. He was on his way to join the outlaw resistance, to crush the Tamarans who had oppressed them for so long. Magdalena had accepted the offer, and here she was, four years later, a warrior for the outlaw resistance and a deadly fighter.4

"I think you've riddled that target with enough holes for today," said Kael coming up behind her.5

"I find it calming," she replied, "but you're probably right."6

"I came to tell you that supper is almost ready, and that Avery is here, he would like to have a word with you."7

"Avery! where is he?" It had been a long time since Magdalena had heard from the Fairy Folk.8

"By the giant Oak just outside of camp. Hurry though, or you'll miss dinner." With that Magdalena ran off to the Oak tree, eager to hear what her friend had to tell.9

****************************************************10

Loki perched on a rooftop, gazing down at the street in front of the Copper Hog Inn. There was no place better than an Inn to watch the sinful acts of humans unfold. Men and women stumbling out in drunken stupors, fist fights and brawls, the immoral acts that lust and passion often lead one to commit. They all had dark auras, draining their souls of all light and happiness. That was just the way Loki liked it. Being a demon, he was supposed to relish in the downfall of humanity. He kawed out laughing and took flight.11

Loki was currently in his Raven form, his favorite when out amongst humans. Demons could take on any shape they liked, but he liked the Raven best. Dark and lonely, it often added more despair to those who saw him. He flew down into an empty alleyway, taking on his human form. Sometimes it was fun to interact with these humans one on one, often bringing more misery into their lives.12

In his human form Loki resembled an average height, toned young man aged somewhere between twenty and twenty-five, though he was around five thousand years old in reality. Real age doesn't matter though for demons since they can live forever. He had cool grey eyes and jagged, messy, almost chin length midnight black hair.13

Walking out of the alley he headed for the town square. Reaching it he noticed an auction going on, a slave auction to be precise. "Hah, these humans are pathetic," he thought, "they don't even need demons to make their lives miserable. They do it themselves to their own people." He smirked and walked into the crowd, relishing in the fear on the slaves faces as each was sold.14

Then the slavers brought up three women together. A family, or what was left of a family, two daughters and their mother. The announcer began the bidding.15

"100 durvas for the youngest!" shouted one man.16

"150 durvas for the other girl!" shouted another.17

Both looked horrorstruck and afraid of what was to come. Loki could sense their fear of being separated.18

"I will take them both for 1000 durvas" called a man from the back. The announcer shouted "Deal! The two lasses have been sold to Lord Evald for 1000 durvas." Both girls screamed as they were dragged off the podium, wild fear in their eyes.19

Loki turned his gaze to their mother who still remained. He watched as tears streamed down her face, yet he saw something else he didn't expect. Instead of a dark aura, hers was radiating light. It was full of faith and hope, and its radiance nearly blinded him. He turned away quickly and left the town square, confused.20

"How could someone whose daughters had been taken away from her not be despairing?" he thought "How can this human be hopeful, so different from all the others in her predicament?" He actually began to feel sympathetic towards the family, though he would not admit it, even to himself. Demons do not have such emotions. With that he strolled off back towards the Inn, looking for a lonely soul to torment.21

Author notes

Eh, I'm happier with Loki's part of this story than with Magdalena's so far, but I couldn't think up a better introduction for her.

Please let me know what you think and any tips on how to improve would be much appreciated.

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Comments


  • Maracaa
    May 4, 2006
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    Good - could be improved

    I think the story so far is interesting; I want to find out what happens with Magdalena and her sisters. You're right, the introduction to your character could be better. Instead of using expostion (just telling the audience everything like in a history book), you might try having a scene whereby somehow little bits and peices of her history is revealed, either by what she says or by what can be interpreted from her appearance. We don't need to know exactly what's driving her - infact it might make it even more exciting not knowing the exact details! Keeping working - it's great!


  • Meadow Fox
    April 3, 2006
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    more refreshing

    I like this story more than The Last Shot, and that was already coooooool!!! Loki is a cleverly designed character- you can put him to many good uses!
    Oh, and this sounds familiar (hehehe):"I find it calming," she replied, "but you're probably right."