May 31
I don't know why my Aunt Maria got me this diary. I'm more of a picture person. I paint all the time for everything. I keep a scrapbook of pictures I think our cool. So I'm not a word person. What is even weird is that diaries are given at birthdays or Christmas or some other special occasions. But today was most ordinal in the world. Aunt Maria said "You mother kept a diary I just thought you would like one too." That surprised me the most. I have been told that my mom always was an artist in the paints. I wonder why she kept a diary? I got to stop writing, it's time for my star gazing. I do it ever night. I would take you out there, but the cover of this diary is really special. I just love the way the moon and stars are drawn here. They're all white with blue sky color in the background.1
Author notes
This is an idea for a book I'm planning to write. This is a diary about a girl who gets magical powers! Then she got to battle the evil force. I won't tell any more so you will keep reading this.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
The story is ok so far I like the attention to detail on behalf of the main charecture but if you intend to continue it in the way you have stated you will have to do somthing fairly unique to stand out from all the other stories about objects giving magic power.
beginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 1, ending: 1, characters: 2.
-
This is a bit disjointed and you could use more imagry. It is a good idea though, you just need to develop it a little more. If the next few chapters are going to be diary entries as well, then you need to expand them and let us find out more about your main character.
-
Very nice idea for a story. I like the way you have started it out. I was never a diary person either. Anyway keep up the great work.
-
I thought it was quite good though I would rather read it in a book, not online. (that is if it is really long)
Try to improve on spelling and grammer though "You mother kept a diary" - is "you" supposed to be "your"?
"I do it ever night." "ever" supposed to be "every"?
but apart from those mistakes (which you will probably correct anyway) it is good.
beginning: 4, language: 2, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
-
oops
or a story line about an artists who finds word pictures give light to her artistic creations. -
I think that it sound interesting. Mybe you should write a little more of an introduction though. From what you wrote you wouldn't be able to tell that there was any magic involved. But good job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
