The park is full of strangers.1
But they all come here everyday, they have nowhere else to go.2
So they go there.3
David stands in the sun, smiling to himself and laughing at the man sat on the swings. 4
He knows what that man did, but David has done worse.5
He stands in the sun thinking that it shines only for him. it shines so bright that it burns off and blisters David’s skin.6
He loves the sun, as it shines just for him, only on him, burning only him.7
It makes him feel special. 8
He knows he is special, more special than the girl on the bench, more special than the man on the swing and more special than the man in the dark.9
He hates the man in the dark, he scares David. Because that man looks exactly like David.10
He is better than the man on the swings because that man is heading straight for hell.11
But the sun has burnt out David’s eyes and the grey wind has swept away the ashes to were the man in the dark lies.12
What David cannot see.13
Is that he is already in hell.14
15
Author notes
the third in the series.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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powerful but scary. A very morbid point of veiw, i'll keep reading
beginning: 2, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 2, dialog: 2, characters: 2.
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Hell
I was just thinking: if he is being burnt by the sun, then it must be hot, especially when he is the only one being burnt by it! So I was think all along. He is in his hell already. He thinks to highly of himself. Very good! I like this one the best. You described things with excellence! Again looking forward to more from you! Although I have noticed no sign in since march. Hope you get back soon!
-Kieran
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Very descriptive, its easy to see and understand. You did very well.
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Nice imagery. Keep writing
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