The park is full of strangers.1
But they all come here everyday, they have nowhere else to go.2
So they go there.3
Edmund sits on the swings, but never moves.4
He watches the people who are watching him.5
Five steps away from the woman he loves.6
She has a baby now and he wishes that it was his.7
She hates it, he knows that, but he loves it, and wishes that it was his.8
Edmund would like to leave the swings one day and sit in the trees. But his feet cannot touch the ground. Because the ground will swallow him up. And hell is waiting and will welcome him with burning arms and brimstone breath.9
Edmund knows. If he comes back to earth, he is going straight to hell.10
So he sits on the swing, never moving listening to the man in the sunlight, taunting him. The sunlight man knows what Edmund did too.11
12
Author notes
another wierd one, written last night, im afraid that because i have lost my wierd mood that when i try to finnish this series my style will change. ah well cant have it all.
enjoy
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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This is 'weird' but it's very deep and interesting and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for posting and I like how these are a series.
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Wow I really like the emotional depth to this. The symbolism of it and descriptions of emotions made this a quick, pleasant read. Great job!
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Very deep, actually. I loved the overall helpless feeling of the piece and how it was established in such a simple manner! Nice Job!
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wow :D
This was a very good story but it could have been longer but then again all stories could be longer. I love your use of hell lol
. This would be scary if that happened in real life well i will look at some more of your stories and ill tell you what i think of them. 
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 3.
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rreally good.. watch the grammar though... twas very interesting... keep up the good work
!!
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but what did edmund do? I presume he is the same one David is watching. this is one very strange park filled with very strange and morbid charectures. Don't stop writing.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 2, characters: 2.
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Cool
It`s odd. Makes me want to read the rest of the series. I`ll try to see how your style changes. Edmund seems like a dynamic character, mysterious. He just sits there, night and day, rain or snow. Just there, there forever. Well, I better get to reading more of this series. I`m very interested. Keep writing!
-Kieran
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Quite intrigued. Wonderng what he did to get in here. Nice piece
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A snap shot of life. Interesting.
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Your right, this was wierd. Cool story though. Keep up the great writeing, can't wait to read the rest.
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Yup, a little strange, but I like it still. I don't like the name Edmund, though o.o for some reason....good job on this ^.^
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I liked the way it flowed but I don't really get it...
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Cool
I want to know what Edmund did, I am mucho intrigued by this story, weird though it may be. I am, however, not fond of the line thing. Perhaps that needs reworking. But thanks for sharing. Me likes lots! -
Cool
I want to know what Edmund did, I am mucho intrigued by this story, weird though it may be. I am, however, not fond of the line thing. Perhaps that needs reworking. But thanks for sharing. Me likes lots!beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, overall: 7, ending: 5, characters: 3.
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