Family

Looking up from the magazine that she held in her hands, Sherry noticed how dark the room was becoming. Glancing outside the picture window, she realized how late it was. The snow was silently falling, covering the earth as it laid in a deep sleep. She could see her neighbor’s house across the street, the lights that were shining through their windows, and the smoke that was curling lazily from the chimney. Inside her living room, the only lights were from the window and from the television. Her father was sitting in his lazy boy chair, staring at the news. She doubted if he really saw it or heard anything that the reporter was saying, he was just staring, lost in his own world. Standing up, she headed towards the kitchen to go make herself some eggs for dinner, asking her father if he wanted any as she passed him. He looked up as if he just realized she was there and told her no, that if he got hungry later he would scramble up something. 1

Sitting at the kitchen table, eating her small dinner, Sherry could feel her mother’s presence. This was her mother’s domain. She loved to cook and was always experimenting and coming up with new dishes to try on her family. With some of the dishes her mother came up with, they used to tease that she was trying to kill her family without it looking like murder. 2

Two months ago her mother had died from a heart attack. She had just turned 46 the day before, a week after Thanksgiving. This year there were no lights, decorations or a tree for her and her father, they were both living in disbelief. Her mother was the one for the holidays, the decorating, the cooking and all the family and friends coming in and out of the house to celebrate. Her mother was the inside the house homebody, while Sherry and her father was more the outside, having to explore around the corner type of person. Tonight was the first real snow fall of the season and in the past, regardless of the time, her and her father would be outside, throwing the snow at each other, trying to push each other down into the snow, and just acting like little kids, while her mother would be content to watch them from a window while having hot chocolate ready for when they came in. If not in front of the window, she would be sitting on the end of the sofa, curled up in the old, raggedy blanket she had made years ago with her nose buried into a book while enjoying the warmth from the fireplace. 3

Right now her father was lost without his wife of 25 years. He went to work each day, came home and just sat in front of the television. He ate when reminded to do so, and then maybe a bowl of cereal or a handful of cookies. The teasing was gone from his eyes and Sherry was scared that it was gone forever. Her mother’s death had put them all in a whirlpool, but while she was managing to climb out of it, she wasn’t sure if her father would manage to do so and she was even less sure how to help him.4

Getting up from the table, she rinsed off her dishes and placed them into the dish drain. Turning off the lights, she left the kitchen and went to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she went to her closet and searched around till she found an old shoe box that she kept hidden in the back. Taking the box to her bed, she sat down and carefully removed the lid. The box was given to her by her mother five years earlier on her seventeenth birthday. Inside the box were small items that her birth mother had sent with her when she was placed with her family and adopted. 5

Sherry had known from an early age that she was adopted. She never really gave it much thought till the past year. Sure, while growing up she would make up stories in her mind about her natural mother and father, he was a king of a country, her mother was his queen and they had to give her up to save her from other rulers who would kidnapped her and use her against them. There were also the fantasies that her real parents were famous stars and were tricked into giving her away but they were always thinking of her and wondering if she was watching them on television or at the movies. She had even imagined that she was kidnapped by gypsies and sold to some unnamed person and that somehow her adoptive parents had found her and rescued her. She had the fantasies, but it wasn’t till she was grown that she wanted the reality. In the summer after she graduates from school, she planned on marrying Steve, and she wanted to know more of her history. If there were anything that ran in the family, any conditions that she should be aware of for when she started her own family.6

Last year, after becoming engaged, Sherry had talked with her mother about her concerns and had expressed wanting to find her birth mother. Her mother understood that to her, they were still her family, still her parents and that would never change, but something in her made her want to know about the people who had given her up. It was with her mother’s blessings and help that she began searching for them. Her father never really said a word how he felt about her search, he had known what they were doing, but kept himself out of it. Sherry knew he was uneasy by his silence and thought maybe a little worried. He wasn’t worried that she might decide to leave them for her natural parents, he was concerned that she might be hurt when she did find them. Not wanting to discourage her though from what he knew she felt she had to do, he listened as her mother and she talked about the progress they were making, and he was there to hold them when they ran into blocks.7

It was only a week after her mother’s funeral that Sherry received in the mail the answers she was searching for. It was the name of her birth mother. Her father was still at work when she arrived home and found the letter in the mailbox. Opening the letter and seeing what was inside, she was mixed with emotions. Elated at finally having answers when she wasn’t sure she would ever have them, and concern, concern how her father would feel when he heard that she knew the name of the woman who had given her up. The timing was wrong. She also felt that by having the name she had searched for, that even though her mother had helped her, she was somehow betraying her and her father. Before her father arrived home, she hid the letter in the shoe box.8

Taking the letter out now, once again she read it. She didn’t know exactly what she was looking for, or what she wanted, but she knew she did want to know something about this woman, this Alice Pines. She didn’t want to hurt her father though, and she was scared if she did try to find Alice Pines, that she would only be adding more to his pain. If he would feel it was a betrayal to her mother’s memory, and that she was looking for a replacement. 9

Unsure what to do, Sherry placed the letter back into the box and closed the lid. Taking the box back to her closet, she hid it in the back on the floor behind some shoes. Going back to her bed, she picked up her old teddy bear, and holding it close, she lay down on the bed, falling into a troubled sleep..10

The next day, the snow was still falling, when Sherry met Steve for lunch after her class. Walking down the sidewalk towards the restaurant, Sherry half way listened to him as Steve described the morning he had had at the courthouse. Steve was a police officer and often had to go to court to testify about someone that he had arrested. This morning he was there to describe a driver’s condition at the time of his arrest for intoxicated driving. Even though he was given a breathalyzer and failed, was caught on the mounted cam in the police car weaving all over the road and smelt like alcohol and had seven empty beer cans in his car at the time, he was denying drinking and being drunk when stopped and taken into custody. Steve was telling her how belligerent the man had become in the courtroom, and was threatening to sue the whole police force over his arrest, when he noticed that Sherry wasn’t really listening. Grabbing her by the arm, he lead her over to an empty door way.11

“Ok, what’s going on?”12

Sherry looked up as if in surprised to see him standing there. “I’m sorry Steve, I guess my mind was on other things.”13

“That seems to be the norm lately. Where is your mind at?”14

Sighing, Sherry leaned back against his arms that he had held up against the wall behind her. “Do you really need to ask?”15

“Sherry, your father will be all right. Sure, he misses your mother right now, we all do. But by the time of the wedding, I am sure he will have snapped out of it and started taking an interest in life again. He just needs time.”16

“It’s not that. But even if it was, I’m not so sure that he will. If he doesn’t snap out of it, how can we get married, how can I leave him all alone? My mother was his life, she was everything to him. He’s like a lost child right now, how can I even think of leaving him when he needs me?”17

“You aren’t moving to another country where a phone hasn’t been invented yet. For God’s sake Sherry, we will only be across town. You can see him everyday.”18

“Look Steve, I’m sorry but I think maybe we should postpone our wedding. Right now my father really needs me.”19

“Sherry the wedding is seven months away. By then your father will be better. He wouldn’t want you to put this off. Your mother wouldn’t want you to put it off.”20

“My mother isn’t here in case you haven’t noticed. If she was, then things would be all right wouldn’t it? We wouldn’t be having this conversation.” anger flashed in her eyes and in her voice. How dare him, how dare him to say that.21

“Sherry I loved your mother and you know this, but I’m sorry, its time you and your father started living again. Your mother would not like the way things are now. How often have she said to live every day? What you guys are doing right now, it isn’t living.”22

“It’s only been two months. How can you stand there in judgment? She was my father’s life for 25 years and now after two months you feel he should just move on and forget her? Live like she never existed? Maybe he needs to go out and hook up with some more women. Hey, lets see if we can marry him off tomorrow, replace my Mom.” Sherry turned away and took a step back onto the sidewalk.23

Steve grabbed her by her arm. “You know that’s not what I meant. Come on Sherry, be reasonable. Look, I know your dad is hurting right now, and yes, he does need you, but you can’t seriously be thinking of postponing our marriage. Its seven months away. All I’m saying is don’t let that go, by then you will see things differently, and even though your father will still be hurting, he will also be getting back to his life.”24

Jerking away from his hands, Sherry started to walk away. Stopping, she turned to faced him, “You are right, I am being unreasonable here, so unreasonable maybe you should think about just calling the whole thing off. You don’t want to be saddled with such an unreasonable wife.” Sherry turned and walked down the sidewalk. 25

Reaching her car, she slammed the door shut and sat at the steering wheel. Not putting the keys in the ignition, she laid her head in her folded arms across the wheel. Shutting her eyes, she didn’t feel like going to work this afternoon. She was tired, she didn’t want to be around people. Reaching down for her purse, she dug around till she found her cell phone. Bringing it out, she dialed her office and informed them that she was sick and would be unable to make it that day. The owner of the bookstore where she worked part time told her that he would fill in for her shift and for her to get to bed because there was a nasty flu bug going around and he didn’t want her to come down with it. Roger, the bookstore owner had been very helpful and understanding with her these past several months. He knew she was having a rough time of it. If only Steve could be that understanding.26

Not sure where she wanted to go, she started the car and began to drive around. She drove through the park where a few teenagers ditching school were sledding down Evermore hill. Evermore hill was a popular place for the town. At the top of the hill was the playground that stayed packed during the summer days with kids scrambling and climbing over everything that was in sight. It was on this hill that the annual Fourth of July fireworks were held. In the winter, families would come here to go sledding and during the windy season of spring, families gathered here to fly kites. 27

Parking across the way where she could watch the teens enjoying their ill gotten freedom, Sherry wondered if somewhere out there, maybe even one of these kids, were related to her. To her that was the worst part, the not knowing. All her childhood she had wanted a brother or sister, but her parents unable to have children of their own always told her that she was exactly what they had wanted and they didn’t need to look any more for the perfect child because they had it in her. Of course at the time their explanation was enough for her. It made her feel even more special, but still the hunger for a sister to share secrets with, a brother to pull pranks on, always lingered inside her. Maybe she did have a brother or a sister out there, maybe even more then one. She didn’t know. Restarting her car, she drove towards home.28

Turning on all the lights in the living room to deflect the darkness that was settling in, Sherry turned on the television and curled up in her chair. Staring at the screen without really seeing it, she thought about Steve. How could he understand what she was going through? Both of his parents were still living, he knew who his family was. He didn’t have to wonder when looking into a strangers face if there was something familiar in the eyes, something that matched his own eyes. He knew his brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. He knew his background, family history. Sherry knew her family history, but she didn’t know. She didn’t know her real parents history, therefore, where she originally came from, who she looked like, anything. Maybe it was this that played a part in her wanting to postpone the wedding, no called off the wedding, she corrected herself. Yes, her father did play a role in it, but how big of a role? Was she willing to be honest with herself about this? She knew that in time her father would improve, that he would again embrace life. Was she using him as a crutch not to get on with her life?29

How would her father react if she did try to find Alice Pines, would he feel as if she was betraying her mothers memories? Would she get over this feeling herself? She knew that she loved her family, but she just wanted to know. Maybe once she had some answers, she could get on with things, get on with her life and get back into feeling right with herself, with the world and go back to planning her wedding. She had told Steve maybe it should be cancelled, but she knew that she only said that out of anger. She knew she loved him and that he loved her and that this spat was only temporarily. But maybe she did need some time away from him to organize herself, her emotions. Her mother, while she wouldn’t have approved of the fight and the fact she was willing to call off the wedding, she knew would approve of her searching for her birth family. Her mother would want her to live her life and would be upset with her if she thought for once second that Sherry felt like she was betraying her. Her mother’s death had really thrown their world into a spin and maybe by finding, or trying to find Alice Pines, she could slow the spin down. But then again, she may just set the spin cycle on a higher speed.30

Getting up she went to the kitchen to start dinner. She was no cook, nothing like her mother, but she figured that if her father was to come back to life, she needed to try and bring back some semblance of normalcy. 31

Setting the sausage in the pan to fry, she checked on her biscuits before turning her attention to the eggs. In the past her father often enjoyed breakfast foods for supper. Checking on the time, she hurriedly set the table before her father arrived home. Even though it wasn’t much, and not nearly as good as her mother would have done, she wanted to make things right. 32

Twenty minutes later her father walked into the house. Coming to the kitchen, he went straight to the refrigerator and took out a soda. Looking at his daughter, he noticed the dinner she was setting on the table.33

“Hi Pop.” Sherry turned towards him, setting the platter of hot eggs onto the table. “I hope that you are hungry. Dinner is ready.” 34

Sherry sat down at the table, waiting to see if her father would join her or go into the living room to sit zombie like in front of the television. She smiled as he drew back his chair and sat down. It was a step in the right direction.35

The following day being Saturday, Sherry didn’t have class or work so she busied herself around the house. Around noon, a dozen roses arrived from Steve with a card attached apologizing for their fight and announcing that he wanted to make up. Putting the flowers in a vase and displaying them in the living room she tucked the note into her pocket to be looked at again later. Right now, even though she wanted to make up with him and she knew the argument was her fault and her words were childish, she didn’t feel ready to call him. There was something she wanted to do first. 36

Going to her parent’s room, she went to her mother’s closet and opened the doors. Faint traces of her mother’s perfume still clung to the air and to the fabrics hanging in there. Taking out a old worn sweater that her mother lived in from the first of October till the beginning of March, Sherry held it close and buried her face into it. The smell was of her mother and she felt closer to her then she had in the past two months. Knowing that her mother approved, she put the sweater on and left the room.37

Going to her room, she sat at the computer and taking comfort from her mother’s closeness and sweater, she turned it on. She began searching the different directories, trying to find a listing, an address for her birth mother. She knew that the chances of finding her birth mother were slim, she didn’t even know if her mother had changed her last name through the years, but she wanted to give it a try.    After several minutes, her computer screen showed six listings for Alice Pines. Five of them were from various parts of the country, only one showing as being in the same state as Sherry. Hoping that her mother had stayed in the state and had kept her last name, Sherry copied down the phone number and address. Not sure what she would do with this information, she turned the computer off and left her room. 38

Walking into the living room, the roses caught her eyes. Walking over to them, she leaned down and inhaled, taking in their fragrance. Gaining strength from this, she went to the phone and dialed the number that she knew by heart.39

“Hello?”40

“Hi Steve.”41

“Sherry?”42

“Steve, I’m sorry for yesterday. I was acting the baby. Can I come over?”43

“How fast can you be here?”44

Laughing, Sherry told him that she would be there in twenty minutes. Hanging up the phone, Sherry ran upstairs to her parent’s room, took off her mother’s sweater and hung it back into the closet. Running to her room, she quickly changed out of her sweat clothes and threw on some jeans and her long, hooded, Viking’s sweatshirt. Throwing a touch of make up on her face, she grabbed her coat and car keys and ran back down the stairs and out the door.45

Thirty minutes later, Sherry was in Steve’s apartment, teasing him about how she should really consider canceling their wedding plans unless he learned to clean house. There were dirty dishes strewn about the living room and some clothes hanging on the back of the furniture. 46

Laughing, Steve informed her that was the reason he wanted to marry her, so that he wouldn’t have to clean anymore.47

Settling back into the sofa, sipping on some wine, Sherry nervously began telling Steve about the search for her mother and how she found a number and address today for someone with the same name. She told him she wasn’t sure if it was the same Alice she was looking for and wanted to know if there was anything he could do to check her out. 48

Steve took the number and name and told her that he wasn’t sure what he could do, but that he would give it to one of his buddies and see what he came up with.49

“Is this the reason you have been distant lately?” Steve asked her.50

“I know it sounds crazy, and I love my family, but I really do feel the need to try and find out what I can. I do love you and I do want to marry you, but I want to find the part of me that is missing, or at least find out where I came from. I can’t really explain it to you.”51

“There’s nothing to explain. I understand, but Sherry, in the future you can’t keep things from me. I can’t help you with problems if you don’t share them. Don’t you know that I am here for you?”52

“I do know that Steve, it’s just that my mother has been helping me and now with her gone, I can’t turn to Pops, and this is personal to me. I went about it in the wrong way, but I’m here now.”53

“Yes you are and here is where you belong.” Steve reached over and took her into his arms. Closing her eyes, she leaned into him and rested her head on his chest. “Steve, there’s one more thing I really have to say to you.”54

“What’s that?”55

“You really should look into hiring a maid.”56

Gently pulling on her hair, Steve leaned down and kissed her57

A few days later, sitting in the bookstore, sipping a mug of hot cocoa, Sherry was gazing out the window. The snow had finally stopped, to be replaced by a wind that felt like it was spitting out sharp shards of glass. She watched as a few brave souls struggled against the wind, trying to hold on to their packages and mothers hanging to their children, while burying themselves into their coats for warmth and protection. This was the coldest winter that Sherry could recall. 58

The jarring jangle of the phone pulled Sherry back to the bookstore, startling her so that she jumped and spilled her cocoa. “Damn!” Tugging on the damp shirt she snatched the phone from its cradle.59

“Book Palace…. How may I be of assistance?”60

“I guess you would say it’s too cold for what I would like for you to do… not to mention that people may wander in off the street and see more then books.”61

Forgetting the spilled cocoa and her shirt, Sherry grinned as she heard Steve’s voice. “Maybe I should find out what it is you want me to do. It may pick up business in here.”62

“Having a slow day?”63

“Not too many are venturing out in this cold. Only one person came in this morning and then he only wanted to stand at the door to watch for his bus.”64

“Yeah, it is colder than a witch’s tit out there. But it is keeping the criminals inside, so that’s a plus. Only call we had today was some woman complaining because her husband hid the tea pot from her. Seems he was tired of tea and wanted coffee this morning.”65

Laughing at the mental picture of some poor old woman searching her house for her tea pot, Sherry asked Steve if the pot was recovered.66

“Sure we found it for her. I know all of Dad’s hiding places. It wasn’t too hard to find. Afterwards, I took him out for a cup of coffee. Such a dangerous life I lead as a police officer.”67

Knowing how dangerous his work can be at time, Sherry really laughed out loud at Steve making getting in the middle of his parents spat over coffee and tea sound like a bank robbery.68

“Since you are having a slow morning and I’m not busy, how about if I pop over there for a few minutes?”69

“Sure, but you have to bring your own coffee, I have hot chocolate going in the pots today. That way if any kids come in, they can get a hot drink too.”70

“Hot chocolate works for me. See you in a bit.”71

Thirty minutes later Steve was sitting at one of the round reading tables that the store had scattered about to encourage their customers to sit and browse through the books. He waited as Sherry poured him a cup of cocoa. The store usually kept a pot of coffee, today hot cocoa going for the customers.72

Sherry came back to the table, placing his drink in front of him. Picking up the mug, Steve blew on the drink trying to cool it down. 73

Sherry watched him. She knew something was up from his actions, but she didn’t know what. She could only guess and she was scared to hope that it was about her search, she didn’t want to be let down in case he had wanted to see her for another reason. It wasn’t often that Steve came into the bookstore while she was working. He was usually too busy answering calls. Maybe it was as he said, a slow day and since he wasn’t busy, he just wanted to be with her. 74

Putting his mug down, Steve started playing with the handle, twirling the mug in slow circular motions. “Dan got in touch with me today.”75

Knowing that Dan was a detective on the police force, and a close personal friend of Steve’s, Sherry held her breath waiting for him to continue.76

Reaching into his shirt pocket, Steve withdrew a folded piece of paper. Handing it to Sherry, he held onto her hands for a moment, not giving her a chance to open the paper and seeing what was written on it. 77

“With the help of computers and by going through old records, plus with the information you had supplied, he was able to come up with your mother’s name and address. Sherry I want to think about this before rushing off on your search. Don’t be too hasty. I don’t want you to get hurt.”78

Looking down at the writing on the paper, Sherry was surprised to see that her mother only lived across town. She was so near. Looking back up at Steve, she didn’t speak. She didn’t know what to say.79

“Sherry, I am sure there was a good reason she gave you up. Just think about it. Since her name has changed, I am assuming that she is married. If you were to go barging in and she hadn’t told her husband about you, what damage you could be doing to her. Do you really want to risk hurting her and hurting yourself?”80

“Thank you Steve, and please thank Dan for me. I have been waiting for this for so long. Now that I have it, I really don’t know what I will do. But I promise, I won’t go barging in there. I’m a big girl now, I will be careful. I guess I need some time to think about this.” 81

Getting up from her chair, Sherry went over to him, putting her arms around him and resting her head against his shoulder.82

Locking the store a half hour early, Sherry went to her car and pulled the slip of paper out of her purse. She sat there not sure what to do. It was still two hours before her father was expected home. She knew she should just drive straight home and get dinner ready. Even though he wasn’t too talkative, they had started eating together again and she drew comfort from that. She still couldn’t get over the nagging feeling that she would be hurting her father if she made contact with Alice Pines, no Alice Griffen now. 83

Starting her car and pulling away from the curb, Sherry merged into the light traffic and headed in the opposite direction of her home.84

Driving through the unfamiliar neighborhoods, Sherry tried to read the house numbers by the fading light of the sun. The neighborhood was more run down then her own and at one of the corner stores, a group of young men were hanging out at the side of the building, drinking something from cans and smoking cigarettes. Knowing she was being paranoid, Sherry checked to make sure her car was locked. 85

A few minutes later, Sherry came to the block where her mother lived. Slowing down her car, she peered harder at the house numbers. Finally she reached the number that corresponded with the one on her paper. Pulling over, she stopped the car opposite the house and just sat there and stared. 86

The house appeared to be dark and run down. No lights shone through the windows. In the driveway, an old battered car was parked. There seemed to be no movement, no life in the house or to the house. a rusty fence seemed to circle the yard, entrapping the house inside. The gate of the fence was swinging in the wind, squealing in protest with every movement.87

Staring at the house for a few minutes longer, Sherry sighed before restarting her car. She had hoped to see something more, maybe catch a glimpse of her mother entering or leaving the house, maybe catch her movements inside a window. Instead she saw no one and she felt let down. Even though she now knew where she lived, she felt no closer then when she first began the search.88

Passing the same corner store where the same guys were still hanging out, Sherry felt a sudden chill and turned up the heat in her car. For no reason she could named, this place made her feel so lost, lonely, as if no hope existed. She was looking forward to getting back home and being with her father.89

By morning the wind had stopped and the sun was trying to put out some heat to warm up the earth. While driving to her first class, Sherry had the sudden urge to drive by her birth mother’s house again. If she skipped her usual morning stop at the campus coffee bar, she would have time to swing by and still be in her class on time. Even if she were a few minutes late, she doubted if it would really matter.90

Driving slowly down the street, she passed several kids standing outside at various corners waiting for their school buses. At the corner from her mother’s house, there were a small group of about ten kids there, playing in the snow, while tired mothers looked on, keeping guard over their young ones. Almost self consciously Sherry found herself drawn to the kids, looking at their faces, wondering if she were closer, of if they weren’t so bundle up, if she would see some of her features looking back at her. Pulling into the same parking space she occupied the previous evening, Sherry had a better view of the house then she had the night before. 91

The house was a drab grey color and the paint was peeling. It looked like some of the shingles were missing and the gutters were hanging down from the roof. The walk leading up to the house wasn’t shoveled, but the snow was packed down from people walking through it. In the morning sunlight, the path looked icy. Looking towards the house and the porch, Sherry noticed that the screen door seemed to be propped up against the outside wall and that the mailbox appeared to be hanging only by one side.92

When Sherry was getting ready to pull away, the front door opened and what appeared to be a young man stepped out onto the porch. Sherry tried to get a good look at his features but was too far away to really tell much. He appeared to be in his late teens with golden red hair that seemed only a shade darker then her hair. Sherry wondered if this could be her brother. An odd feeling passed through her at that possibility. Even though she had wondered about having siblings, had even fantasized about it, it was different seeing that it could be true.93

The boy on the porch drew his jacket tighter around him, turned back towards the house and seemed to yell something through the door. Turning back, he placed his hands over his eyes to protect them from the morning sun’s refection on the snow. A few moments later, an old blue station wagon filled with teenagers pulled up and stopped in the middle of the street in front of the house. Grabbing up a handful of books there were resting in the lawn chair beside him, the boy ran off the porch towards the street. Pushing through the rusted gate, he joined the other kids in the car and before he even had the door shut all the way, the car was moving down the street.94

Fighting the urge to follow them, Sherry pulled out and headed towards school.95

All day Sherry wondered about the boy, about the family that lived in that house and mostly about her mother. She was happy at seeing the young man and even a bit thrilled at the prospect that he could be her brother. She was also a little disappointed that she didn’t see her mother that morning. 96

While working that afternoon, Sherry found herself daydreaming about an actual meeting. She knew that she would go back to the house but she didn’t know if she could get up the nerve to go to the door and actually knock on it. What if Dan’s information was wrong? What if they weren’t her birth family? What if… so many what ifs ran through her mind. But could she really let this go? She was curious about them and seeing the boy, only made her need to know, that much greater97

That evening, after going to a movie, Sherry and Steve went to a restaurant. While waiting for their food to arrive, Sherry told Steve about going to the house that morning and seeing the boy there. She was hoping that he would be excited with her, but instead of excitement, she saw concern in his face. 98

“Don’t you know what this could mean Steve? I may have a brother, maybe even a sister. There were some kids at the corner waiting for a school bus. Just think, one of them could have been my brother or sister.”99

“Sherry, what are you doing? Listen to yourself. You already have a family. Think about your father. You are sitting here talking as if you don’t have a family and that these people, people that you don’t even know, are your only chance at having a family.”100

Hurt at Steve’s words, Sherry tried to keep it from showing. “You know it’s not that way at all. You aren’t being fair. I love Pops and nothing or anyone could ever replace my mom. I love my family.”101

“Then what is it Sherry? Why this sudden urge to know? Explain it to me so that I can understand.”102

“It’s hard to explain. Ever since finding out I was adopted, I have always wondered who I looked like, where I came from, if there was anyone else on this earth that looked like me. When we have kids, wouldn’t it be great to be able to tell them where they came from? To know if there could be any health problems, isn’t it important for me to know if heart disease, cancer or anything else ran in my family? Pops will always be my family, he will always be Pops. That doesn’t change. Pops will be granddad to any kids we have.”103

“Ok, I can see the reasons you are using, and they do make sense. I just want you to be careful. Sherry, the neighborhood is bad and high in crime. Just be careful even driving through there. And think, before doing anything that might cause you pain or the family that lives there any pain, think.”104

“I promise I will be careful Steve. Right now I don’t even know what I am going to do, if I will try to meet her or what. But I will be careful.” Sherry leaned over the table, over their food that had arrived and snatched a shrimp from his plate, popping it into her mouth. Steve gave her a stern look that sent her into giggles and made her steal another from him. 105

Two weeks passed by since Sherry first went by the house. Not wanting to draw attention to herself and raise the neighbor’s suspicions, she only drove by the house a few more times during those weeks. She never saw the young man again, nor did she see anyone else at the house. 106

It was the end of February and spring was beginning to flirt in the air. While the wind was still sending its icy tendrils through out the town, the snow was beginning to melt under the sun’s glare.107

Saturday morning, Sherry woke up and opening her bedroom curtains, she was filled with life. Rushing to her bathroom, she showered and dressed in some old jeans and a sweatshirt. Going downstairs she was surprised to see Pops in the kitchen preparing his famous Saturday breakfast. Saturday mornings were the only time his wife would let him invade her kitchen and he was the one who dubbed his meal famous, Sherry and her mother just called it the heart attack in waiting breakfast. Pops was placing the fried potatoes on a plate when Sherry walked in. 108

Grabbing the orange juice from the refrigerator, Sherry turned towards her father. “Wow Pops, what’s the special occasion?”109

“Nothing special, it’s Saturday in case you didn’t know.” Pops busied himself with the eggs he had frying in the pan.110

This was the normal running line they have had for years, with few variations. Sherry was hesitant before doing her next line. “Gee, I knew you were concerned with how much my graduation and wedding would cost, but do you really think it’s necessary to try…” she stumbled over her next line and changed it so that she wasn’t asking him if he was trying to kill her and make him think of his wife, “and put me into the hospital?” The line that she had been asking him since early childhood no longer seemed cute. 111

Her father stiffened his back at the counter and he paused in his work. Getting a hold of himself, he went back to filling their plates and took them to the table. Sitting down, he began pouring himself a glass of juice. “Well I do need to check into things first, but I imagine the hospital is cheaper then graduation and a wedding. The flowers alone will have me living out on the streets.” He winked at Sherry to let her know that he was ok.112

After breakfast, he went to the living room, leaving the dishes to Sherry, and turned on the sports channel, settling in for a day of sports. Cleaning the kitchen, Sherry couldn’t help but smile as she went over the changes in her father the past several weeks. She knew he was making an effort and was beginning to come back to the world of living. She was worried though that if she told him what she was planning on doing, that he would withdraw. She didn’t want that, but she had made up her mind that today, after her household chores were done that she was going back to the house. She was going to go up onto the porch and knock. She didn’t know what would happen and she was scared to even think about the actual meeting. She hadn’t discussed her plans with Steve, she knew he would either try to talk her out of it or insist on going along, if not both. This was something she wanted to do on her own. 113

Placing the last dish in the drain and wiping her hands off on the thigh of her jeans, Sherry went into the living room. She had to tell her father what she was going to do. She never kept secrets from him before, and she didn’t want to start now. 114

“Hey Pops can you turn that down for a second?”115

Picking up the remote, he turned the television down and gave Sherry his undivided attention. 116

Sitting on the edge of her chair, she looked down at her hands which she was twisting about in her lap. “Pop, I don’t know how you feel about me searching for my birth mother. You were always there to lend a helping hand, but never said how you felt. I have her address and really want your input on this.”117

“I see, how long have you had the address?”118

“A few weeks. Dan, a friend of Steves, found the address for us. I have been by the house a few times, but never spoke to anyone there. In fact I only saw a young boy one day as he left for school. I don’t even know for sure if it is the right house, or if my birth mother lives there.”119

“And you want to find out?”120

“Yes, but I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you. I know things have been tough these past few months for you, and I don’t want to add more to your pain.”121

Getting up from his chair, her father went to her, getting down on the floor in front of her, he lifted her hands into his big, strong ones, covering hers completely. Sherry looked down into his eyes and saw the pain in them. “I’m sorry Pops, if you don’t want me to go through with this, I won’t.”122

“Sherry, I knew that this day may come, when you would find her and want to meet her. It’s only natural. I don’t want to stand in your way. But I don’t want you hurt either. We don’t know the reasons she gave you up, but what ever they are, I never regretted one moment of having you here as my daughter.” Hugging his daughter, he pulled her from the chair and onto the floor beside him. Holding her close, with her head resting against his chest, he played his fingers through her hair. “I’m sorry Sherry. I didn’t see how much you must have been hurting these past few months. I never want you to be scared to tell me anything. This all must have been hard on you. Please forgive me.”123

Reaching her arms around his neck in a hug, Sherry wiped her tears on her father’s shoulder. “Pops I love you, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I know how lost you have been without mom here. That’s why I don’t want to do this if you say no. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”124

“No honey, you don’t have to worry about me. You do what you have to do, I support you all the way. Do you want me to go along with you?”125

“No Pops, I think this is something I need to do on my own. Please if Steve calls, don’t tell him where I have gone.”126

“He doesn’t know? But I thought he was the one who helped you find the address?”127

“He did, he supports me, but he is also concerned I might get hurt. I will tell him tonight if I have something to tell him. Who knows, they might not even be home, or maybe someone else lives there and not my birth mother. Maybe it is my birth mother and after hearing who I am, she will slam the door in my face.”128

“Ok Sherry, I won’t tell him, but I do want you to be sure to tell him tonight. It’s not good to hold back things from each other.”129

“I promise Pops. Pops do you think it would be all right if I were to wear Mom’s old sweater?”130

“Go ahead, I think your mother would love it if you did. And Sherry, you can wear anything of your mother anytime you want to. She would want you to have what ever you wanted.”131

Kissing her father on his cheek, Sherry got up from the floor and ran up the stairs to her parent’s room. Grabbing her mother’s sweater, she quickly changed into it and taking encouragement from the lingering fragrance of her mother, she quickly went back down the stairs. Halfway down the stairs, she stopped and turned around. Running back up them, she ran to her room, and went to her closet, taking out the old shoe box. Throwing the lid off the box, she reached inside, grabbing the old small teddy bear that was kept there. stuffing the bear into the sweater’s pocket, she shoved the box back into the closet and ran back down the stairs.132

Her father was back in his chair with the football game turned up. He winked at her as she past him on her way to the door.133

Pulling up in front of the house, Sherry sat in her car for a few moments, trying to find the words she would say when the door was answered. She couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound lame to her. Nervously, she got out of her car and checking to make sure the road was clear, she ran across the street. 134

The gate seemed to resist her as she tugged to open it. The sidewalk leading up to the porch was slippery in some spots and the porch seemed to sag under her weight. Everything seemed to be yelling at her to turn back, get into her car and not come back. Holding her breath, she raised the courage to knock on the door.135

Not hearing any movement from within the house, Sherry knocked again, only a bit louder. She was considering giving up and trying again some other day, when the boy that she had seen before pulled the door opened. “Yeah, what do you want?” he asked her surly.136

Taken back by his attitude, and shocked at seeing her face staring back at her, Sherry asked in a small voice if this was the home of Ms. Alice Griffen.137

Turning back into the dark house, the boy yelled to his mother that someone was at the door for her. Stepping back, he invited Sherry into the interior of the house. Stepping inside, out of the coldness, Sherry looked around her. The hall she stood in was dark and had a faint musty smell, but the aroma of cooking food covered the must. 138

Shortly, an older woman joined them in the entrance hall. Wringing her hands on the towel she had hanging from her jeans belt hoop, she reached out to shake Sherry’s hand. The boy looked on with interest. Turning to her son, the mother suggested that he should hurry if he was going to be on time for his basketball practice. Grabbing his coat from the coat rack by the door, he leaned down and kissed his mother on her cheek then he ran out the door, slamming it behind him.139

“You have to excuse Tommy, he’s the typical teenager, hasn’t learned the concept of walking yet.”140

“That’s ok. Are you Mrs. Griffen?”141

“Yes and I know who you are. Your face is the same face as my Uncle Ted, the same face as Tommy.” Taking her by the hands, Mrs. Griffen led Sherry into the living room.142

Though the furniture was well worn and faded, the room had a well care for look about it, a comfortable, lived in look. Unsure of herself, Sherry sat perched on the edge of the sofa as Mrs. Griffen went into the kitchen to check on her food. Coming back into the room, she handed Sherry a glass of soda.143

Sherry thanked her for the drink. “I don’t know where to begin. I thought I knew what I would say, but I don’t know what to say, what to ask.”144

“I imagine you have all sorts of questions.” Her mother took her drink and sat opposite her in an old, overstuffed chair.145

“Yes, but everything I want to know seems so, so, so, well I don’t know, but like something you would see in the movies with the characters in this situation. How do I come out and ask why did you give me away? Did you ever think of me? Does Tommy know he has an older sister? It all seem like I want to attack you, and I don’t want to come off sounding that way. Like I have had a bad life and blame you for everything.”146

Chuckling to herself, Mrs. Griffen smiled at Sherry. “It appears to me that you managed to ask all the questions and no I don’t think you are attacking me. You have a right to ask me and somehow I knew that this day would come. I will try to answer all of your questions, but I have some of my own. First, could you tell me about your life, tell me about your parents, I want to know that you were all right and well cared for all of these years. That has always been my greatest fear, that you weren’t getting any love.”147

Easing back into the sofa as she spoke, Sherry told her about Pops, Mom and about Steve. She reassured her birth mother that she had been well loved and cared for, that her family had always given her everything she needed and more. That she had had a happy childhood and never felt left out by being adopted. She ended her tale with her mother’s death and how it had affected her father, and yet he still supported her in her finding and meeting her natural mother. 148

After finishing her story, Sherry reached inside her sweater pocket, withdrawing the small bear. Without a word, she handed it to Mrs. Griffen.149

Taking the bear into her hands, Mrs. Griffen seemed to be caressing it and seeing something other than the bear. 150

Looking up at Sherry, she didn’t try to wipe the tears from her eyes. “I can’t believe you still have this. I didn’t even know for sure that you ever gotten it. I bought this bear when I first found out I was pregnant with you. It wasn’t much, but it was all I could afford. When you were born and I had decided to place you with another family, I wanted you to have this, something from me.” Closing her eyes, Mrs. Griffen seemed to drift back into time. 151

Without making a sound, Sherry moved to the edge of the couch, leaning closer to her mother, not wanting to disturb her, Sherry waited. 152

“I was only sixteen at the time. My dad was so mad when he found out and I was so scared. He made me quit school so as not to shame him. As I became bigger, I wasn’t allowed out of the house. He didn’t want to risk the neighbors seeing his daughter in such disgrace. I was seven months pregnant when he sent me out of town to stay with Aunt Sarah. Oh what a horror that woman was.” Shuddering at the memory, Mrs. Griffen picked up her glass and asked if Sherry wanted another drink. 153

Coming back into the room, she handed Sherry her drink and putting her glass on the end table by her chair, she first went around turning on all the lights in the room, as if chasing away the shadows, chasing away the past.154

Sitting back down in her chair, she once again picked up the stuffed bear and held it close to her chest. She began her story where she had left off.155

“Once I arrived at Aunt Sarah’s, well if I thought things were going to be better, she quickly remedied that notion. From day one, she had me doing all the house hold chores while caring for her three little monsters she called sons. They were awful. And the whole time she would trailed behind me letting me know how lucky I was to be sent to her and not to an unwed mother’s home. The things she used to say to me, the tone she used with me, the names she called me, well I was better off at my father’s house. She never laid a hand on me, but the looks she gave me…” she picked up her glass and took a long drink.156

“What about my father?”157

Mrs. Griffen face seemed to glow when thinking of him. “Thomas? Now there was a good man. I met him at a concert that the town would hold in the park. He seemed so dashing to my young eyes. He was twenty, had a decent job, and his own place. He had the kind of looks that made every girl there want him. I couldn’t believe my good fortune when he chose to talk to me. I started sneaking out of the house in the evenings to be with him. Before I knew what was happening, I had fallen in love. Your father loved me and when he found out I was pregnant, he wanted to marry me.”158

“Why didn’t you marry him? It would seem that would make things easier for you and your father would have been relieved if not happy that you were no longer disgracing him.”159

“When my father found out who the father was, he went over to Thomas’s with a shot gun. He chased him out of town.”160

“Why didn’t he go to the police?”161

“Your grandfather was a tyrant back then. No one stood up to him, including the police. Not to mention the position he held in this town. My father, your grandfather, was the fire marshal and good friends with the police chief. How could Thomas go to the police, tell them that he knocked up their good buddy’s daughter and was threatened? Who would have listened to him? Most likely they would have locked Thomas up. No, Thomas felt as if he had no choice, and really he didn’t, in the matter. He did the wisest thing he could do. He left town.”162

Taking in the story, Sherry became spellbound, almost forgetting that this story involved her, that she was the cause for the young lover’s troubles. “Did he ever come back? Did you ever see him again? Did he know that you gave birth to me?” for some unexplained reason, it seemed important to Sherry that he knew that he had a daughter.163

“I didn’t see him again the whole time I was pregnant. If he had came back, once I was with my Aunt Sarah, he wouldn’t have known where to look for me. After you were born, I was hoping that somehow I would find him, and that the three of us would be able to go somewhere and be a family. Instead, after you were born, Sarah told me while I was still in the hospital, that after being discharged, I would return to her place, but I could only stay a week. After that I either had to go back home, or get a place of my own. She refused to even look at you and considering letting me bring you with me. My father had called me and told me he was expecting me home at the end of the week and for me to forget about bringing you there. He would not have you as a reminder that his only daughter was a girl without morals, only he added more to that description of me.”164

“Where was your mother? Couldn’t she have helped you?”165

“My mother, may she rest her soul, had died when I was a baby. My father raised me and my two brothers on his own. They were too scared to stand up to him, even though they did let me know that they thought he was wrong. To keep peace in the family, they begged me to go along with whatever my father wanted.”166

“And after you left the hospital, what happened?”167

“On the morning of my release, my Aunt brought in some social workers from the state. They pressured me into signing the adoption papers, telling me that I really had no options. Things were different back then, I was young and had no money, no way of earning any, and no place to go if I did try and leave with you. I had no choice. I didn’t want to, but what else could I have done?” Mrs. Griffen was asking herself that last question, more then Sherry. It was as if she was trying to convince herself that she had done the only thing possible and to Sherry, it felt as if she had had this battle with herself several times through the years.168

Getting up off the couch, Sherry went to her mother and leaned down, giving her a hug before sitting down on the floor at the woman’s feet. She looked up at her expectantly, waiting for her to compose herself and continuing with her story.169

“I went back home a week after leaving the hospital. My father had ordered me never to mention you. Even though I wasn’t allowed to talk about you, I did think of you every day. Every year on your birthday, I would go down to the bakery and buy a small decorated cupcake and pretend to myself that it was your birthday cake and imagine that you were eating your cake at the same time I ate my.”170

“I went back to school when I went home. After my high school graduation, I took a job downtown at one of the banks. It was there that I saw Thomas again. I have never looked at another man, had no interest in dating, not that I would have been allowed, and the moment I saw your father, it was as if time stood still. I knew then that I was still in love with him.”171

“We arranged to meet the next day during my lunch break. It was then that he found out that he had a daughter. We started meeting everyday, and on the weekends, I would pretend to have errands to run, and would go to Thomas’s apartment. After a month, we both knew that we wanted to be together. Not daring to go to my father, one day during my lunch hour, we just left town and didn’t come back. We went to another state where we were married. Thomas found a job in construction, and I started working in the children’s section at the library. Our days were kept busy, and we would stay up nights, dreaming of you, wondering about you and how you were. Thomas always told me that one day you would find us. We didn’t want to try and find you because we didn’t want to disturb your life. We could only hope that a nice family took you in and made you one of them. It seems that part went right at least and I can never express how grateful I am for that fact.”172

Moving, Sherry went back to the couch to sit down. She couldn’t believe the story she had just heard. There was such sadness to it and yet it seemed to work out. She knew that her mother did the best thing for her and she was lucky to have Pops and Mom adopt her. She expressed this to Mrs. Griffen. 173

Noticing the time, and how late it was getting, Mrs. Griffen got up to go check on the dinner. “Tommy knows he has a sister, and I would like for you to stay and eat with us. Give us a chance to know more about you.”174

“You said Tommy, not my father? Are you still married to him?”175

“I will always be married to him. But unfortunately, he passed on three years ago in a car accident. I know he would have loved you. He wanted this meeting as much as I did. It was after his death that I decided to move back here in case you were searching.”176

“And your father, is he still living?”177

“No, he passed on a few years after I left town. Some said it was of a broken heart, but knowing he didn’t have one, I believed it when the doctors said it was from a massive stroke, no other cause.”178

“I wish I could stay for dinner. I would really love the chance to be able to talk to Tommy and get to know him. But I already have dinner plans with Steve.”179

Walking with Sherry to the door, Mrs. Griffen put her arms around her and held her near. Stepping back she studied Sherry’s face, as if memorizing every detail of her. “I do hope that you come back Sherry. I really want to get to know you. I know I can’t be your mother, nor would I want to try and replace her, she seemed like a remarkable woman, but I don’t want to let you go out of my life again.” She handed Sherry back her bear.180

Giving her a hug good bye, Sherry handed back the bear asking her to keep it for her and she promised to come back again the next day. 181

Pulling up behind her father’s car, Sherry entered the house through the back door. Walking through the kitchen, Sherry grabbed two bananas from the fruit bowl. Going into the living room she tossed one of the bananas to her father.182

Reaching up, he caught the banana as it was flying past his head. “It’s a good thing that spring is on the way. You really do need to work on that throw of yours.”183

“I still have a few hours before getting ready to go meet Steve. How about getting in a practice session right now?”184

Rising up, her father grabbed his jacket while Sherry rummaged in the coat closet. She came out with her baseball and mitt and together they went outdoors.185

The morning sun played across Sherry’s face, forcing her to open her eyelids. Turning over, she glanced at the clock. Seeing the time, she jumped from the bed trying to hold back her yawn. Going to her closet, she paused at her window, looking out. The sun was bright already and drying the ground from the storm they had the previous night. It leant a promise that today would be perfect.186

Knowing that there were a lot to do this morning before the guests started arriving, she rushed through her shower, and dressing in her cut off jeans and a red tank top. Throwing her hair back in a ponytail, she hurried downstairs. Going through the kitchen, she grabbed a pear before joining her father in the backyard. 187

From the looks of things her father had been up for awhile. The grill had been moved to a far corner of the yard, and borrowed chairs and tables were scattered about the place. Sherry joined her father in the flower bed that ran alongside the fence. Getting down on her knees, she began cutting the different flowers she wanted to take with her today. Together they worked quietly side by side, occasionally looking up from their labors to wipe the sweat off their brow or to give the other an encouraging smile. No words needed to be spoken between them. They understood what the other was feeling.188

After the flowers were cut, Pops went inside to wash up while Sherry used the garden hose to rinse her hands and knees off. When Pops rejoined his daughter, without saying a word, together they walked to his car.189

Walking among the graves, they quickly found the one they wanted to see. While Pops stood back, Sherry went to her mother’s grave and placed her flowers in the small vase that was mounted by the headstone. 190

Getting down on her knees at the foot of the grave, Sherry let the tears flow unheeded from her eyes. “Hi Mom. Today is the day, Steve and I are getting married. Even though I won’t be able to see you there, I know that in my heart you will be with me and that I have your blessing. I wish you were here. There is so much I want to tell you. I miss our late night talks, the way you would advice and listen. I really do miss you Mom.”191

“I know that you will be happy to know that I found her. I found my birth family. I wish you could meet them, I know that you would really like them. I have told them about you and they do wish that they had met you.”192

“Mom, please be happy for me. Watch over me and guide me through the years. I really do need you. I think Pops want to talk to you alone, so I am going to leave you with him.”193

Getting up from her knees, Sherry wiped the tears from her eyes, gave her father a hug and walked away. She walked to the other grave stones, reading the names and dates on them. She stopped and said a prayer over a young boy who had been killed at the age of five. So young. Feeling the sun’s warmth on her back, she turned towards her father. Seeing him standing at her mother’s grave, she did not want to interrupt his time alone with her mother so she went back to the car to wait. 194

It was almost noon by the time they got back to the house. Pop went outside to start up the grill while Sherry busied herself in the kitchen, preparing the salads and other side dishes. It seemed as if her father had invited the whole neighborhood and they would soon be arriving and she wanted to have things set up and finished so that she could join them outdoors. 195

Placing the last salad bowl into the refrigerator, Sherry grabbed a pitcher of iced tea and went out to join her father. In the yard there were already a few families that had arrived while she was indoors. A few kids were huddled around an older man, listening as he showed them how to play horseshoes. Within the hour, the yard was crowded with neighbors and friends and filled with activity. The younger children were playing at parent’s feet, while the older ones were scampering here and there between the different games. The grown ups were settled into little groups, talking and laughing, with a few being brave enough to venture in the kid’s games. Food and drinks were being passed around and enjoyed by all. Pops stayed at the grill, flipping burgers, and spreading his special sauce on the chicken, while entertaining a group of his friends that gathered around him and keeping his eyes alert for any small children that would try to venture too close to the grill. 196

Sherry walked over to her father and gave him a quick hug before snatching one of the hotdogs off the grill. She smiled as he chided her for having the patience of a child. Every year this same scene was played out in their backyard. Neighbors came with food and families, laughter and a few tears from the younger babies as they grew tired and cranky, children running all over the place, squealing and shouting. It was mayhem and Sherry loved it.197

Yes, this Fourth of July was the same as any other she celebrated since a child, but this year it would be a little different. The guests were in for a surprise.198

Sherry smiled and hugged Tommy when he came over and joined Pops at the grill. She hadn’t noticed their arrival. As usual, Tommy had a few of his friends with him. Sherry left them and went in search of Alice. Finding her in the crowd, standing alone, looking a bit lost, she dragged her around the yard introducing her to her friends.199

Sherry had gone back to the house after the first meeting. She had met her brother and they got along and enjoyed each other’s company. She learned in time, that when Tommy was late for a basketball game, or anything to do with sports for that matter, that was when he sounded surly, but otherwise he was a nice kid. 200

After a few more visits, she took Steve over there to meet them. They had welcomed Steve into their family with open arms, the way they had welcomed her. In April, Pops had invited the family over to a cook out to meet them. At first it was awkward, bringing the two families together, but before long Pops had them laughing at his stories of Sherry’s childhood. Since that time, Alice and Tommy have been welcomed back time and time again. Now Tommy liked to bring his friends over to meet Pop and they would hang out, going out in the yard to throw the ball around, and having long talks. Together they had created a bond. They were each filling a need in the other and were good for each other. The two families now considered themselves as one family, each making a second home out of the other’s home, dropping by unannounced and doing things together. Pops admired Alice and Sherry could tell that the feeling was mutual. Even though there was no love interest there, at least not yet, they felt comfortable in each others company, and often went out for a movie or dinner together. 201

As evening arrived, Sherry snuck away from the party. With Alice, she went up to her room, where she saw her father had laid out her mother’s wedding dress. Picking up the white, silk confection, she held it near her face, feeling the softness against her cheek. She felt her mother’s presence more then ever. Alice touched the fabric, admiring the intricate bead work. 202

She turned away when Sherry replaced the dress on the bed, and began to remove her clothes. Running to the adjoining bathroom, Sherry hoped into the hot shower. Excitedly anticipating the rest of the evening, she scrubbed the grind and smoke from the cook out off of her body.203

Going back to the bedroom after the shower, Sherry sat down at her vanity, where Alice began to fuss with her hair. Pulling it into an upsweep, she then carefully pinned small baby breath in her hair, scattering them about. 204

When Alice was finished with her hair, Sherry stood up and walked over to the bed, to her mother’s dress. Alice lifted the dress and helped Sherry into it. When she stood back, Alice had tears in her eyes.205

“I never thought I would see this day, much less participate in it.” Hugging Sherry, Alice stood back so that Sherry could admire herself in her mirror. 206

When Alice went to the restroom to get dressed for the wedding, Sherry went to her opened window where she could hear Greg, her father’s closest friend and the only one outside of the family who knew of their plans, asking the rest of the guests to help pick up the different objects left over from the various games and to push the tables back against the fence. Not sure what was going on, the guests complied and became even more suspicious when they were asked to line up their chairs facing in the same direction. 207

Going out into the hall, Sherry and Alice met with Tommy and Pops. The men had come in right after Sherry and Alice left the party to get ready for the wedding. They were both dressed in their best suits. Alice and Tommy went down the stairs first, leaving Sherry and her father at the top. Giving his daughter a tight hug, he then took her arm and escorted her down the stairs.208

At the kitchen door, Greg came over to let them know that they were ready. Stepping out into the yard, with Pops on one side of her and Tommy on the other, Sherry paused for a moment to catch her breath. The guests were all seated in their seats, with their eyes on her. At the other end of the yard, Steve stood in his suit by his father, his best man and the preacher. They had their eyes on Sherry.209

Taking the offered arms of her father and brother Sherry began the slow walk to meet Steve.210

During the ceremony, a slight breeze cooled the air. Besides an occasional whimper from a small, tired child, the only voices to be heard was that of Steve’s and Sherry’s as they recited the vows they had written for each other. 211

After being announced Man and Wife, Steve took Sherry into his arms and kissed her deeply in front of their guests. Fireworks that were being set off in the park began to light up the night sky over their heads. 212

Seeing the fireworks, the younger children became excited. With laughter Steve drew back from Sherry and they joined their guests as they gathered on the lawn with the children to watch the fireworks. A few of the kids ran around the yard with sparklers, and one young girl ran up to Sherry offering her hers. Taking the sparkler, Sherry leaned down to hug the girl in thanks. Straightening up, she waved the shimmering stick in small circular patterns, feeling very much a little girl herself, feeling like the princess she used to daydream about. 213

When the fire went out, Sherry joined Steve on the blanket he had brought from home, and leaning back into his chest, she watched the fireworks while enjoying her family. As Steve’s arm enveloped her, she closed her eyes, and sent her mother a silent thank you. She knew that her mother was there and smiling down on them all, that her mother was happy for Sherry, happy with the wedding and happy with Sherry finding her birth family. 214

A Fourth of July like so many others, and yet different, a family like so many others, and yet different.  215

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