The Best and Worst of Times

It was the best night of my life. I had a huge party at my house with a bonfire and plenty of alcohol to go around. there was probably fifty people there. A few of them were my friends but most of them were my brother's. Everyone was happy and everything was good. For me, it felt like I was untouchable. No one could bring me down.1

I had sex with my girlfriend that night. Afterwards, I laid in my bed, looking at the ceiling. No thoughts on my mind, just an extreme feel of happiness. Things seemed to only be getting better as they progressed.2

The next morning I woke up next to her, and I was still happy. She was happy, too, despite her headache. I went to my medicine cabinet and got some pills for her, and that's when I got the call.3

The phone rang twice before I was able to reach it. I thought it might be one of my friends raving about the party, but it wasn't. It was my mother.4

I answered the phone completely unexpecting what was about to happen.5

'Hello?' I asked, even though I knew it was my mom.6

'Ben, I am at the hospital right now... Grandpa had a stroke this morning and he might not make it.' she said.7

Her words fell on me like a sack of bricks. For a moment, I wondered if maybe she was mistaken, or maybe she was joking, or doing anything but telling the truth. But then I realized that I was stupid to even think that.8

'What?' I uttered. It was all I could say. I needed her to tell me she was mistaken. I needed her to tell me It wasn't true.9

'He had a stroke and went into a diabetic coma. He was supposed to come over for coffee this morning at eight,' Her voice was quivering now. She didn't cry though. ' but nine o'clock came around and he still wasn't here. I knew something was wrong. When I got to his house he was on the ground, hyperventilating with his eyes open. He had vomited on himself and everything.'10

'I'm coming up to the hospital right now.' I was in shock. I just wanted to see for myself. As stupid as it sounds, I wanted to tell my mom that she was wrong. I wanted to say that it wasn't him in the bed. I wanted it all to be a bad dream.11

But it wasn't a dream at all.12

I took my girlfriend home, and It took everything in me not to cry. I walked her to her door, like I always do.13

'I'm sorry about your grandfather, Ben.' She said. I could tell by her voice that she was sincere.14

'It's all right. It's just his time. He wasn't living a good quality of life anyways. He is a completely deaf diabetic with Alzheimer's who lives in a trailer all by himself and all he does is smoke cigarettes all day.' I knew I was trying to convince myself that this was for the better, but I couldn't.15

I kissed her and then I left. I must've smoked four cigarettes on the way to the hospital. I wanted to calm my nerves but cigarettes weren't doing me any good.16

I got to the room and I saw my mother, brother and grandmother sitting around him. I don't know why my grandma was there, she had divorced my grandpa years and years ago, when my mom was eight. One time my grandma told me why, but I don't like to think that my grandpa used to act like that.17

That's when I saw him. He looked so pathetic that I started crying right there on the spot. He was laying in that bed with his eyes still open and glazed. his mouth was open with his tongue sticking out. A tube was feeding air into his lungs. It killed me to see him like that. 18

The doctors said that he couldn't feel anything, but when my mom touched his arm, he would move. That tore me up, to know that he was still alive in there, To know that he was suffering.19

My mother told me not to cry, because that was always something he hated. He hated it when someone felt sorry for him. She was crying, too. I wanted to stop, but It only made me cry more.20

She told me that he is going to a better place where he can be with his family, and he can hear and do all the things that he used to do. She said that he will be alot better off there.21

That's when I started crying worse than I have ever cried before. I don't believe in god or heaven. I don't think there is any way of knowing what you do when you die. It killed me to hear that. I didn't say anything... I just cried.22

My brother was crying, too. He was alot more quiet than I was. My grandmother wasn't crying at all. she didn't say much, though.23

Everyone wanted to go get a bite to eat, but I just wanted to stay there with him. I didn't want him to be alone, even though that's what it's been for him for half of his life. everyone begged me to go but I didn't.24

they let me stay. when they left, I just thought about his life. Did he get everything out of life that he wanted? Did he do most of the things that he wanted to do?25

They came back after a little while, and they brought me some candy and Mountain Dew. It made me feel a little better. when I was done, I said goodbye to him, and I left. I smoked three more cigarettes on the way home, hoping it would calm me down, and it did, a little.26

When I got home, I called in to work, and my manager was mad, because this is the third time I've called in in two weeks. I didn't care, though. She could fire me and I wouldn't give two shits.27

I needed a drink. I remembered that there was some whisky left over from the night before. I walked out to the garage to get it, but the door was locked. It's a good thing, too, because I think I would've drank the entire bottle.28

I went to sleep, hoping that he might come to me in my dreams, but He didn't. I think it's because he is still on that air machine, but I still wanted to see him, and talk to him one last time.29