A Goodbye to Remember

Tears slid down my face as I raised my glass to the skies.1

"To my best friend, my soul mate. Happy 17th Birthday. I love you." I broke down into sobs while trying to drink the wine in my crystal glass.2

Inside the house the countdown to midnight had begun and I could hear the cheers and catcalls. They floated through the double doors as I stared at the heavens, tears trickling down my face.3

I mentally babbled about my love, my intense feelings for my best friend, how much I missed her, and how much I wanted to hold her. I thought about the day she'd died, the car accident that had caused it, and the funeral I hadn't attended. Finally, I wiped my eyes, finished my wine, saluted the stars, smiled, and headed back to the party.4

Most people had passed out from too much alcohol when I walked through the doors. I spent the next hour cleaning up around the comatose partygoers and prying glasses out of their sleeping hands.5

When I slipped under the sheet in my room I stared at the ceiling before beginning my nightly routine.6

"Five good things that happened today... I went to the beach and the water felt nice and cool against my ankles while the sun was beating down on my head." I took a breath and tried to get more comfortable. This had been my routine since the day I'd contemplated suicide - find five things that happened that were good in each day, and think of five good reasons to get out of bed every morning.7

"Joy came over and gave me a hug for no reason when she was talking to someone else at the party." I smiled. That had made me feel special. She'd probably noticed how down I was.8

"I saw an eagle flying over the backyard and that looked really majestic." I sighed; sometimes this was a difficult task.9

"I got an extra Kit Kat out of the vending machine for free." A giggle escaped me and I realised I may have had too many drinks at the party.10

"I found a letter from Mary that reminded me how much fun we... used to... have." I fell asleep as the last words trickled out of my mouth.11

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There was music coming from nearby and I tried to follow the sound. I didn't seem to be real, but I existed in this place somehow.13

My vision started to become clearer and I saw a white piano. Someone was playing a familiar song and they smiled at me.14

Suddenly the song registered and I knew where I was. Tears sprang to my eyes and the person's smile grew wider. They nodded their head towards the right and I suddenly knew that she was in the next room.15

I seemed to float in a kind of daze for a while. I walked through a doorway that I hadn't seen before. There was a girl in the middle of the room, facing away from me. She was humming the song from the piano.16

"Baby, can I hold you tonight." I sang softly, not knowing if I would startle her. It had been a joke between us because one year it had seemed that if I ever touched a radio, that song had come on within five minutes.17

Tears were pouring down my face when she turned around.18

"Is it really you?" I whispered.19

She nodded and enveloped me in the warmest, safest hug I had ever felt.20

"I missed you so much," I sobbed. I wanted to scream that I loved her and that I would trade places with her in a heartbeat. I didn't need to.21

"I love you too, Lilly." That soft, melodic voice I will never forget.22

I woke up crying but feeling loved and safe.23

She has never left me and I will never forget her.24