A Jack for Every Jill

A Jack for every Jill1

Gillian was a pretty girl, and should have had no trouble finding a nice man, they had all said that.  She grew up with her mum who saw everything through rose tinted eyes, and kept filing Gillian with false hope and telling her that everything would be alright.  Everyday they lived in fear of Gillian’s father and his moods.  Gillian believed that as she had an abusive father, she would get lucky and have a partner who cherished her one day.2

As soon as Gillian was old enough she got a flat with her boyfriend, and as far as abuse was concerned she hadn’t suffered anything yet.  After 2 years of mental and sexual abuse she walked out on the boyfriend and her small child completely broken.  That day she was going to end it all, but she met another man, much older who promised to give her something for her pain.  3

A long time ago this man had had a good heart, but he had suffered too much pain and blotted out everything that was with drugs and soon Gillian was doing the same.  Crack cocaine gave her the escape she needed.4

A few months later  Gillian discovered she was pregnant again and decided to clean herself up and stick by her baby the way her parents had never stuck by her.  She promised the baby growing inside that she would do her best to make his or her childhood a happy one.  At first she longed for a pipe, and thought of nothing else.  She went to counselling and over time she dealt with her past and learned to love herself in a way that no one had loved her before.5

Gillian brought the child up herself as a single mother and it was hard.  At first she spent may nights awake with a crying baby, often crying herself, wishing there was a man by her side giving her the support she needed.  Just a cuddle and knowing some one was there with her fighting her corner and loving her would have made all the difference.  As her daughter got older Gillian took her to mother and baby groups, she made many friends and built many good solid friendships through her life.  Some friends who were in her life for a short while and some who were in her life for many years.  Still Gillian longed for that special man to come along but he never did.6

When her daughter went to school, Gillian went back to college, got qualifications and a good job.  She helped her daughter achieve her ambitions, get married and start a family.  Still Gillian went to bed alone at night, the space next to her empty.  She met different men, but none of them lasted long as they weren’t meant for her.  Although she never told any of her friends she cried and felt lonely.7

When she died, Gillian was in her 70’s and a respectable member of the community.  She had a close loving family and friends, none of them who knew how she longed for that special man to come along.  She stood at her funeral and watched people mourn their loss for her.  While they cried they didn’t realise what happiness Gillian had found.8

As she took her last breath and slipped away Gillian felt strong arms holding her tight.  She looked up to see a handsome young man with big brown eyes looking in to her eyes and felt his hand stroke her hair.9

“Who are you?”  She asked.10

“I’m Jack your soul mate.  When I was 22 my life was so bad and I couldn’t take anymore, so I  ended it.  As my body was crushed underneath the train I had thrown myself under God took me aside and asked m why I chose to do that.  He explained that later that day I was to meet you and that everything would have worked out.  He took me to you, and you were the most beautiful and loveliest person I had ever come across.  He left me by your side, and I watched as you met that druggie instead.  I tried to tell you he wasn’t meant for you, but you couldn’t hear me.  I tried to hold you every time you felt lonely, but you couldn’t feel my touch, I tired to wipe away your tears whenever you cried, but they wouldn’t go.  Believe me I was by your side from that moment on wards.  I was so proud of you when you turned your back on the drugs to raise your child alone, she should have been our daughter, we should have been raising her together.  Each day you became stronger I grew prouder and prouder of you, I was so proud when our first grandchild was born I wished that I could have held him too.  The day you looked in the mirror and realised you were old I still thought you were  as beautiful as you were the day I first saw you, maybe even more so.  I am so sorry that I didn’t just carry on living for a couple of hours longer so I could have been there to meet you, take you home with me and make you happy.”  11

Gillian cried silent tears of joy and Jack held her tight and wiped them away, and they were together.  “Maybe we don’t get the things we really want out of life, but in heaven we will get our hearts desire.”  She said as she stood watching her funeral take place, but of course her friends and family did not hear and carried on with their lives as they had before.12