"What the fuck is this, Sara. I told you no more depressing little fucking cutter poems!" 1
Next thing I know I'm standing against the wall and you're gone. 6 hours have past since the last time i looked. This was the longest I'd ever blacked out. So many thoughts flying through my head.. What happened is the only one i care about. 2
I walk around the house to find out you're not home. Of course not... You never are. You're probably at the bar, cause he called and told you to. Cause you always obey what he fucking says. You gold digging whore. I remember when you stood up for yourself. Not like that matters cause you still fucking drank the same amount then, I was just too young to see it. Now I'm not as naive. I don't fall for the same bullshit you feed the world. My thoughts began making my mind pound as i drift to sleep.3
Walking into your office felt like i was falling through the gates of hell. You hate me now. You don't say it of course, cause everyone in this country has been programed like robots to lie. To tell you lies to make us feel better about the truth. 4
"So, How are you doing today?" you ask with a pathetic little fake smile. Like you care.5
I glare at you from the tops of my eyes. "Fine." Agh I talked. I try to hold back but i just want to snap your little pathetic neck. 6
"That's good." You close your smile away into your mouth full of lies. The only reason you're here is for the money. You don't give a fuck how I'm doing. We sit through the rest of the hour in silence until you tell me it's okay to leave. 7
I stand on the cold sidewalk waiting for my mom. She's always here by now. I feel a chill and decide to sit on the curb. I begin to space out and stare into the sky. Everything slowly became darker until I finally snap back into reality. Everything is black around me except the glare on the couple cars left in the parking lot and one streetlight. I sit and wait for another ten minutes until the last two cars drive away. That's when i realized you're not coming.8
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Comments
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AWSOME!!
Hey Sara!! WOW!! That i.. Just.. WOW!! LOL!! I LOVE it!! Welp Can't wait for more..
DANIoverall: 10.
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You ran away? Sara, you can always come here. You do know that right? She wouldnt think to come here, shed check your closer friends first. Then we would be able to sort it all out. Then we would be able to find out what to do. Like old times. And I cant believe you remember all of that. I remember after you left I cried so hard. I didt know what to do. I didnt want you in the car with her. I felt as if I had just given your soul away to hell. And I cut, and the blood felt so good. It burned. And that night that my finger got cut. I remember begging you not to tell your mom. Not to tell my mom. Anything but that. I remember saying I would be alright. Just let me quit crying and I'd be alright. And then I saw a glance at it. I never saw more than a glance. And I almost puked. It was worse than that one cut I made for Dylan last year. Remeber me showing you that in the library? You and Carley. And I remember thinking youd be so mad at me for that...
And I do still have your teddy bare. I promise I'll bring it back to you. I want you to have all of your happiess. I want you to have it...
And Lauras baby is fine. She had a moment at birth where she was short of oxygen. But she's fine now. She's dark skinned, has alot of dark hair and eyes so dark they look almost black. And she hardly ever cries. I hear she's beautiful. And I heard her cry last night...she sounded beautiful. I just cant wait to see her. When Laura comes down next month I'll tell you so you can see the baby too! She was born march 14th at 3 pm. And she weighed exactly 7 pounds. But yeah...I love you sara. And I miss you too!!
xox
Allie -
... i ran away last night... me and my mom got into like the biggest fight i've ever got into with her... i had frostbite from my toes to my calfs... idk... i have 3 options... stay here... north carolina with my dad... or juvinille hall/ a pysch ward... well ima go before she sees this and it all starts over... loves lata
Sara -
This was another great chapter... I'm crying now... But I think that's because of your comment
I'm so sorry you've had to go through what you have... I don't know you, but I wish there was a way that I could take everything away so you can be okay...
I really hope that things start looking up for you...
Take care of yourself, and keep on writing
Stay safe...
~Ash~ -
i cant forget that night... she was soooooo drunk... i swear then we pulled up by like where subway was and she talked to me about my arms... she kept asking was it her... i remember it all... i thought i was gonna die... we almost got into a huge wreck... i couldnt breathe... i remember when we got to my street the most though... that's when i jumped out of the car... surely you remember that... i cant forget the look she had in her eyes when you opened the door... for a moment i was scared she would hit you... but she didnt... i remember right after i did it how i didnt feel the pain... i got to the house then turned around and searched for my mp3 player... i couldnt move my arm right but i didnt care then i just wanted that... then i remember when i got to the house the 2nd time when all the pain hit and i began balling... sitting in the ice cold bath tub slowly watching the water turn red... i couldnt stop crying i couldnt think i couldnt feel anything but the pain... i remember how you looked my mom in the face and refused to let me leave... she had the papers sammies mom had left on her car in her hand... how she looked at you and spit out the comment "WOW your mom didnt notice a single cut. she must be fucking blind." then looking at you screaming she must be fucking blind!! SHE MUST BE FUCKING BLIND!! then telling you to let me leave... i hated that night and i know for some reason its never gonna leave... ever... i wish we had ran away... just disappeared then... my mom and me are "okay" now... when she's sober... so basically every night before she gets home... her drinkings getting so0o0o0o0o much worse again... i hate it so0o0o much... but i still know i can never stop her... no matter how hard i try its never made a difference... it never will... i remember that night i cut your finger how i wrote a note to her begging her to never let us drink again... we had like 5 types of alcohol... bacardi... smirnoff... some margarita shit lol... a bottle of champange... and something else... i remember how blood soaked the pillow was... i found it yesterday... on the very top of my closet on one of my sisters boxes that she didnt take with her to georgia... i remember right when it happened... the bone... agh then i remember josh... i called josh... asking him what to do... he would know what to do... then running in my moms room screaming for her to wake up... tears streaming down my face as i screamed at her saying mom get up allies cut to the bone... i cut her finger on accident... i swear it was an accident... you still have cuddles... the cute little bear i've had since i was like 4... the first thing i got in virginia... my main happiness... atleast i know no matter where you are you still have some of my happiness... love ya... hows lauras baby?? did she have any complications durning birth?? is she okay?? well ttyl...
Love ya... Miss ya...
Sara -
Wow, Sara this is really good. I really do love your story. It's so sad...everything is...I have to ask something....what goes on with you and your mom now? Are you guys better? You can always come to me...Remember that one time, when she came to get you. Hatred glared in her eyes as she stood in the door way demanding you. And all I wanted to do was run away with you at that very moment, some where where she'd never find us.
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