The perfect remedy for a horrid day1
A pillow, some chocolate & wine2
I sat pondering this last week’s events3
And counting down the time4
I received the call this morning5
They couldn't afford to pay me6
So I packed my belongings7
And finally walked free8
Yet I found myself staring9
At a coffee smudged card10
Sincere eyes plagued my mind11
Forgetting them was hard12
But back to the pressing matters13
No job and no love14
Depressing thoughts15
Unanswered prayers to up above16
Suddenly I felt a sting17
Blood trickled down my hand18
A paper cut marred my skin19
Damn that card from that man20
That man, with those eyes21
The ones that consumed my mind22
And that voice, oh his voice23
So sincere and so kind24
Dreaming into the day25
Thinking about this man26
Joshua, such a sweet name27
As I take the phone to my hand28
Author notes
another veiw
check out the next part!
storywrite.com/Story/1897805
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I really liked this. It gave a refreshingly new view on that subject. I really liked your descriptions, and the paper cut. That was my favorite part
. Great job!
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Amazing... Very sweet and sincere. I liked the papercut touch... Extremely clever, and nicely written, with good imagery and a superb range of vocabulary. Keep writing, this was brilliant!
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a good flow of words. and an unsusual way of adressing an overused topic. I like the affect in both of the poems of yours I have read. keep writing.
beginning: 2, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 3, characters: 2.
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this is quite the write nikki you are turning into such a fine poet and your rhyme is always, now, so unforced and dead on well done!!!
love you nikki
love dad -
This is turning into quite the masterpiece! Sweetie, this is brilliant and just what I needed to read. I'm hoping to see the next installment when I wake, studio19's too - it's getting rather interesting 
Thanks for sharing. Love you always. Mummy 
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lol go the spam comment to get points.. lol.. id do it to if i could be bothered lol
thanks!
Nikki
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that was great!!! great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great welll done!!!!!!!!!!
love xoxoxoxo harlequin girl xoxoxoxoxo -
5 Stars *****
humn.. i dont know if you will get this comment...cos according to AP i need to LOG ON
.. now isnt that silly? 
..
so hey coming backto yourpoem.. i read it tiwce.. and i read the other person's poem twice too
.. all is fine i can see you both are undergoing the same kind of feelings.. and i like the way you both as presented them... well i have never read such poems on AP .. or anywhere before 
.. its a cool idea.. excellent again
take cares and have a nice time my dear friend... just keep it up.. your humble little friend... ... 
... 
.... - vic ( who else? )
P.S. - if you get my comment, dont mind my first statement .. otherwise.. erm.. SUE AP :_L
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yay! im glad we have someone that wants to see the story through
Thankys for the read and the comment
Nikki
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eXCELLnt
hey guys am following this through....brilliant writing....going from your write to mike and back again.....both equally fantastic work...am enjoying this am wondering where it will go next.....great imagery and both have great flow and feel just kinda rolls of the lips... -
I like something about the way this is writen - maybe it's that it rhymes, but it doesn't (I mean you don't notice it much).
And it's like a story - an intrigueing introduction, to hook the reader so he has to read more.
=> Jess Black -
Beautiful
Well the tale is twisting into quite a masterpiece. the coin seems to be spinning the same way. Another great installment.
It took awhile but, time breeds brilliance.
Nice one Nikki.
Mike
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