Memoir (Part 1): Girl in My Dreams

I don't go to school dances. They seem like such a pain... This time was differnt.1

I decided to go at first to watch over a suicidle friend, possibly keep him out of trouble. At the time I was in a bad relationship. Waiting to talk to the girl to end it, but she left for vacation and I coverd up my joy by acting crushed. I sat with my friends, I wasn't used to it after being forced to fallow the one who called me 'her pet' around. It was nice.2

I sat down, depressed as usual and inturn found something most odd...I felt a grab on my arm, only to spark my curiousity and look over. I thought I saw the girl in my dreams. The girl that came to me while I slept and made me feel at peace. I tried to snap out of it but nothing worked. Was it really her?3

"Who?" She asked. Her gental voice seemed to flow through the air and dance in my mind. I never heard a voice so sweet.4

But why did she ask "Who?" did I say 'Was it really you?' out loud?5

"What do you mean?" I asked calmly like I knew what was going on.6

"I was just asking him who did it."7

I realized I didn't say it. That or she didn't hear me. She knew I was down. Mostly beacuse so much had changed when I was with the one who called me 'her pet'. I didn't move. I liked the though of her hands. So cold, yet so warm. I sat and listened to her talk...8

The bell rang. It was the end of the day. I decided not to wait for my mom and just walked home. I slowely set out from the door and briefly saw this 'dream girl' of mine. "Crap," I thought out loud, "do I even knew who that was?" I was too busy remembering my dreams of this girl. It was the smae girl, and I knew it!9

I tried to clear my head. Possibly five minutes would let me figure out her name. I closed my eyes and sat on a bench. I saw her. Her reddish-brown hair, usually down to her shoulders, licked the air. I coudln't think. She was all that was on my mind. I remembered having liked her before... but not like this. I never felt like this before.10

I opened my folder hoping to write things I thought of, down in my note book. I opeend it and pulled out my pen. Trying to keep my head and hand steady so I could write down something that may help me rember her name. "No." I said quite loudly, "no..." once again, but much softer, trying to keep my tears in. "What was her name?" I thought to my self.11

I tossed the note book as far as I could. I watched all the lose paper flow in the wind, and the book fly out of control twords the ground. I looked up heart broken and saw one single, kind of bent up and folded, pice of paper float down. It was so soft, and so gentle, and I thought of her....12

After a few moments in which I could not hold my tears in. I walked over and picked up my stuff, making sure to keep that one single paper in my hands as to never forget what happened. It was going to be a long walk back home, but I flet the need to reflect.13

Longest walk ever, and I wasn't even half way home... I could barely remember where I was. I didn't know if I could walk any further. Not becuase I was tierd, but so I wouldn't walk off somewhere and get lost. I walked on however. I watched the trees, birds , cars, I felt my body filled with love and amazement; every worry left my body, no sarrow, no confusion, no doubting the future. It wasn't something people would expect from me, the kid every one called "Goth" due to his style and emotions. Yet, I was happy, and nothing could change that.14

After walking 5 miles along the train tracks, I finaly came to my house. The large, half-bricked and half-sidded house stood above the rest of the surrounding area. It was an old hotel my father owns. Naturally, I had to have an apartment of my own. I marched my way up the stair case, still with a full smile and no clue as to what was going on outside my head. I walked into my roomed and looked at everything with a puzzling look. It didnt seem like my room was still my room. I ljumpped on to my bed anyway. I felt my backpack leave my hand and crah to the floor as i flew through the air and landed softley on my springy matress. On impact, I released the paper I saw floating before. i watched it float again, this time however, I caught glimpse of something about it. I could see that on the inside was pencile markings, so I did what any one would do. I opened it.15

This single sheet of paper I had carried with me for the last hour, was really more important than a reminder of the 'girl in my dreams'. When I opened it, I saw 2 cute little anime drawings. This wasn't unusal. Most people I hung arround drew anime pictures all the time. This one was differnt though... Than I saw why. Down in the corner was the signature of the artist, "Cz" but what did this mean?16

'Cz'...'Cz'17

"Who was 'Cz'?" I asked my self, not knowing if it was alowed or kept inside. I thought about the letters and tried to remember what I could... Than, almost instantly, I rememberd one gym day. The first gym day actually. I heard some cute girls talking and one caught my eye. I knew one of my friends was aquainted with them. The Gym instructor took the names of the students. I Remeber one of the girls answer with, 'Amber, but call me 'Bam.'" and I looked over, I kem that name. A few days before a friend of mine told me of a Bam and Cz in my gym class. I looked to the girl beside her, obviously this 'Cz' i was curious about. It was the same girl I had felt like I just met.18

"Hey, you're Cz arn't you?" I asked her that one gym day.19

"Yea, I'm Catzi..." She answered fearfully to the fact that a stranger new her name.20

That's when I snapped out of it. I knew it. "Catzi!" I said alowed. I knew her name. Catzi, the girl I scared in gym, the same girl who comforted me while I was sad, and the same girl who was on my mind the whole day. Catzi... the girl in my dreams...21